Old Testament Reading: Psalm 146

“Praise the LORD! Praise the LORD, O my soul! I will praise the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being. Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs, he returns to the earth; on that very day his plans perish. Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, who keeps faith forever; who executes justice for the oppressed, who gives food to the hungry. The LORD sets the prisoners free; the LORD opens the eyes of the blind. The LORD lifts up those who are bowed down; the LORD loves the righteous. The LORD watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin. The LORD will reign forever, your God, O Zion, to all generations. Praise the LORD!” (Psalm 146, ESV)

Sermon Text: 1 Timothy 5:3-8

“Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:3–8, ESV)

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Please excuse any typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church but without the benefit of proofreading.

Introduction

It would be good for us to remember that we are in that portion of Paul’s letter to Timothy wherein he gives specific instructions for the proper care of the various groups of people within Christ’s church. Timothy, as a minister, was to care for all generally. He was to put the word of God before the members; he was to teach sound doctrine, provide oversight, and pastoral care. But here in this section of the letter, Paul speaks to the particular kind of care that various groups in the church will need to receive. 

In the previous passage, special instructions were given for ministering to young and old, male and female. In this text and in the next one, Paul speaks to the care of widows. After that, he addresses the treatment of those who hold the office of elder. And finally, he addresses pastoral care for bondservants. Ministers must be faithful to provide care for the congregation generally, and also for the various groups that exist within the congregation. 

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Honor

Here in verse 3 Paul says, “Honor widows who are truly widows” (1 Timothy 5:3, ESV). Let’s talk about this little phrase for a moment: “Honor widows who are truly widows”, Paul says.

The word “honor” is very important. In fact, it ties this entire section of Paul’s letter together. Timothy was to minister to young and old, male and female, in a way that was fitting. Remember, he was not to rebuke but encourage the congregation. He was to treat the older men as he would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters with all purity. In other words, Timothy was to honor those to whom he ministered. In verse 17 we read, “Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching”. And in 6:1 we read, “Let all who are under a yoke as bondservants regard their own masters as worthy of all honor, so that the name of God and the teaching may not be reviled”. So Timothy was to show appropriate honor to all, and he was to see to it that honor was shown to all within Christ’s church.

So what does it mean to honor? 

To honor someone is to value them and to show them proper respect. This respect is, first of all, to reside within the heart and it is shown through our speech and in our actions. When you honor someone you speak respectfully to them. When you honor someone you listen to them. When you honor someone you treat them honorably — you pay them their due, and you care for them if they are in need. This is what Paul was urging Timothy, along with the whole congregation in Ephesus, to do — they were to show honor to one another! The church, brothers and sisters, is to be an organization of honor — an institution where the members treat one another with proper respect. 

As I have said, the principle of “honor” is the glue that holds this entire section of 1 Timothy together. And that word “honor” should immediately remind us of another scripture text. It should remind us of the fifth of the Ten Commandments, which says, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12, ESV). If the principle of “honor” is the glue that holds this section together, then the fifth commandment is the source of that glue. 

As you know, the first table of the law (commandments 1-4) has to do with man’s relationship to God. And the second table of the law (commandments 5-10) has to do with man’s relationship to man. How are we to relate to God? In brief, we are to honor him as God alone. And how are we to relate to our fellow man? In brief, we are to honor our fellow man in a way that is fitting. Or, to quote Christ we may summarize the whole law in this way: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind…”, and “you shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:37–40, ESV). Though love and honor are not synonyms, they are closely related. To love is to honor, and to honor is to love.   

The first command of the first table is, “You shall have no other gods before me.” In other words, here is the first requirement for a right relationship with God: We are to honor him as God, and we are to give that honor to none other. And the first command of the second table is, “Honor your father and your mother…” (Exodus 20:12, ESV). This is the first and leading requirement for a right relationship with your fellow man. 

And why does the law say, “Honor your father and your mother…”? Why does it not say more generically, honor everyone with the honor that is due to them? Why the specific command to honor father and mother? The answer is this: By commanding children to show honor to their parents God does highlight the importance and priority of that parent/child relationship. Children are brought into the world through the union of a man and a woman. And that man and woman do then have the privilege and responsibility to raise that child, teaching them to walk in a manner that is worthy. Parents are to teach their children to love and honor God, and they are to teach their children to love and honor their fellow man. And how will they learn to show honor to their fellow man except by learning to, first of all, show honor to their parents? 

When the law says, “honor your father and mother”, it certainly does not mean that this is the only human relationship where honor is to be shown — from a child to a parent. No, but it does help us to see the importance of the parent/child relationship, and the importance of the family for the establishment and maintenance of a good and just society where men and women honor and love one another.  

The very first human authority that children encounter is parental authority. Parents are to teach their children to honor them, not only so that they might have the honor that is due to them, but so the child might also learn to honor every other human authority which God has established in the world. And children, by learning to honor their parents, will also learn to honor God and their peers! To put the matter succinctly, the home is the place where honor is taught and learned. It is the first place where children learn to honor God supremely, and their fellow man in their variety of “places and relations, as superiors, inferiors, or equals.”

Brothers and sisters, when you hear the fifth commandment, “honor your father and your mother”, do not think that it only applies to children living under their parent’s roof. No, it starts there! But here in this little commandment we have a kernel of truth that is meant to sprout, grow, and blossom, producing a people who know how to live to the honor of God and of all men, no matter if they are “superiors, inferiors, or equals.” This is the true and full meaning of the fifth commandment.             

And to demonstrate that this is the case, I may ask you, who are we to honor, brothers and sisters? Answer: Above all, we are to honor God. And among men, children are to honor their parents. Wives are to honor their husbands, church members are to honor their pastors, citizens are to honor those who govern, employees are to honor their employers — all of this should be clear to us. But that is not all. There is also a sense in which parents are to honor their children, husbands are to honor their wives, children are to honor their siblings, kings are to honor their subjects, teachers their students, bosses their employees, pastors the members of the congregation. As I have said, the fifth commandment, “honor your father and mother”, is a  kernel of truth that is meant to sprout, grow, and blossom. When properly understood and applied it guides us to show honor that is fitting to all men, no matter if they are “superiors, inferiors, or equals.” 

And where is this teaching found, you ask? Where does the Bible say, for example, that parents are to honor their children? Or husbands their wives? In many places! 

Generally, it is found in these words: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39, ESV). To love is to honor, and to honor is to love. And love is to be shown to all men. And it is also found in these words: “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12, ESV). And it is in Christ that we find our example. Though he certainly had authority over his disciples, and though they certainly owed him a special kind of honor as inferiors, Jesus washed their feet and said, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them” (John 13:12–17, ESV).

Brothers and sisters, this is the Christian way. Not only are we to show honor to our superiors — God, the Lord Jesus Christ, governors, parents, and pastors. No, we are also to honor, love, and serve those who are our equals, and even those who are under our authority, just as Christ did. And this is why the scriptures warn fathers, saying, “ do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21, ESV). And husbands are also warned: “live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7, ESV). This is the way of Christ, brothers and sisters. Though he had all authority, he did not Lord it over his subjects, but humbly served them. He loved us and gave himself up for us. And we are to do the same for one another. 

We are to show honor to one another. As Peters says, “Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor” (1 Peter 2:16–17, ESV).

So why have I belabored this point? Why have I camped upon the word “honor” and taken all of this time to connect it with the fifth commandment, showing how this commandment is to sprout, grow, and mature into a sincere love for God and neighbor? Well, two reasons. One, that is what Paul does in this section. From 5:1-6:2 he is urging that honor be shown to the various groups within the congregation in a way that is fitting. The church is to be a place where God is honored above all, and where men and women, boys and girls are treated with honor. And two, I think we need to hear it. 

I’m afraid that our culture has forgotten what it means to show honor. Consider our public discourse. There is so much harshness. Men are so very inconsiderate and impolite. People have forgotten how to listen to others or to communicate their opinions in a clear, calm, and respectful manner. Dishonor rules the day! I’m sure it has a lot to do with the breakdown of the family. Certainly, it is a symptom of the rejection of God’s moral law in our culture. Perhaps it is also symptomatic of media forms that do not require face to face interaction. It is much easier to be harsh and rude when you do not have to look into the eyes of the other human being, made in God’s image. Whatever the root cause, I think you agree with me that in our culture — at least as it pertains to our public and political discourse — very little honor is shown.  

Brothers and sisters, we must be careful to avoid this virus in Christ’s church. In Christ, we must keep God’s law. And as we do, we will be countercultural. The church is to be a place of honor. It is to be filled with people who honor God supremely, submitting to his revealed will and loving him from the heart. And it is to be filled with people who treat others with honor. 

Parents, may I  turn to you for a brief moment and ask, are you teaching your children to give honor to whom honor is due? Are they taught to  honor God as God in your home? Are they learning to honor their superiors by first learning to honor you? And are they learning to honor their equals and their inferiors through their interactions with their siblings and their friends of various ages?

Being a parent is a great blessing. It is very rewarding work. It is very important work. And it is also hard work. It requires that we lovingly and patiently instruct and discipline our children, brothers and sisters. We must teach our children God’s law. And because they struggle with sin (as do we), we must teach them to trust in Christ. They must trust in him for the forgiveness of their sins, and having done so, they must trust him also to have victory over sin. They must strive to live in obedience to God’s law, not in their own strength, but with the strength that God provides. Are you teaching your children to do this? Are you modeling it? Are you showing them how? 

I’m preaching to you not as one who has mastered parenting, but as one who is struggling in the trenches with you. Brothers and sisters, let us be sure to give our children both the law and the gospel. Let us be sure to show them the way that they should good go (law), and when they fail let us be sure to lovingly discipline them and to point them to Christ — they are to trust in him for forgiveness and for victory over sin (gospel). Our children need to hear the law and the gospel just as we do, if they are to learn to honor God and man.   

Children and young adults, may I speak to you for a moment and ask, are you striving to honor and love God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength? And this will involve loving and honoring your fellow human beings. Are you keeping the fifth commandment? Are you honoring your parents? Are you resolved to always show them respect and to obey them? It is so very important that you do. You should remember that the very first thing God commands us to do when it comes to our relationship with other human beings is to honor our father and mother. Are you striving to keep God’s law? 

And I will also ask you this, are you honoring your siblings and your peers? You are not to honor them with the same kind of honor as you give your parents. For example, you are not required to obey them. But you are to honor them as your equals. You are to treat them as you would want to be treated. You are to speak to them with love and respect.  

Brothers and sisters, young and old, if I were to read the fifth commandment and ask, have you kept this law perfectly, what would you say? You would say, no, I have violated this law in thought, word, and deed. And this confession of sin should send you running to Jesus to trust in him for the forgiveness of your sins. But if you are in Christ — if you have been washed by his blood — then you ought to strive to keep God’s law, including the command to honor your father and mother.

And members of Christ’s church, I ask you, are you honoring one another in Christ Jesus? That is what Paul is urging us to do throughout this section of his letter to Timothy. Honor is to be shown to all. In particular, he is commanding that honor be shown to widows. 

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Honor Widows

“Honor widows”, he says. 

A widow is someone whose spouse has died. And in Paul’s day widows were particularly vulnerable. There was nothing like social security in those days. The government did not care for widows as it does today. The responsibility to care for widows was left to families and other private institutions. And so Paul commands Timothy as a minister in Christ’s church to “honor widows who are truly widows.”  

And clearly the word “honor” here means more than “respect”. When Paul commanded Timothy to honor widows, he was insisting that honor be shown to them by seeing to it that their needs were met. 

Surely, Timothy was not to do this all alone. Instead, as He was to see to it that the church honored its widows. 

Pastors have a particular responsibility to honor widows in the congregation. They are to care for them spiritually and see to it that they are also provided for physically.

And it is the deacons of the church who have a particular responsibility to care for the physical needs of widows. You should remember that passage in Acts 6 where the first deacons of the church were appointed. And why were they appointed? To oversee ministry to widows. They were to see to it that the widows in the church were cared for, both the Jewish widows and also the Greek widows.

It may be that the deacons provide the care themselves, but it is more likely that the deacons will oversee ministry to widows, and the members of the congregation will be the agents who do in fact meet the needs. 

So it is the church, made up of pastors, deacons, and members, that is called to “honor widows”.

 And though Paul mentions only widows here, what he says may be applied to anyone within the church who is in need. The church is to be a place of love and honor, and this will involve caring for the needy and vulnerable amongst us.    

Listen to James 1:27: “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world” (James 1:27, ESV). Following God faithfully in this world will involve visiting, or caring for, people who are afflicted.  

Later James says, “What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead” (James 2:14–17, ESV). This is a sober warning. 

And finally, Galatians 6:10 says, “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith” (Galatians 6:10, ESV). This is helpful. The words “as we have opportunity” acknowledge that resources are limited. There may be needs that we do not have the ability to meet. The words “let us do good to everyone” remind us that it is good to help even those outside the church. And the words, “especially to those who are of the household of faith” teach us that the Church is to give priority to meeting the needs of its members. 

The church is to be a place where honor is shown, and this will sometimes involve caring for those who are afflicted by meeting physical needs. This should not come as a surprise. Remember that the church is the household of God. If we are in Christ, we have been adopted as God’s children, we bear his name, and we represent him on earth. Or we may also say, the church is the body of Christ. We are his members. We are his hands and feet. We do his work as we represent him on earth. And we are to remember this about our God: “The LORD watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin” (Psalm 146:9, ESV).

Church, I ask you, do you have God’s heart for the sojourner, the widow and the fatherless? Are you eager to represent Christ on earth? Are you prepared to be his hands and feet? And you will notice that I addressed you as the “church”. I did not say “Christian”, I said “church”. And there is a good reason for that. We are so very limited as individuals. We have a very limited amount of time, resources, and ability. But together we have more. It is the church collectively that is to care for its widows and others who are afflicted.   

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Honor Widows Who Are Truly Widows

Now, the remainder of this passage does provide the church with very helpful boundaries. That Galatians 6:10 passage that I read earlier had boundaries built into it. Churches are to “do good to all” — that is the general principle — but Paul did also say, “as we have opportunity”, and  “especially to those who are of the household of faith”. Here in 1 Timothy, he says, “honor widows who are truly widows.”

Now isn’t that an interesting phrase? “Honor widows who are truly widows.” I suppose that some might respond saying, but aren’t all widows, widows? How can you be a widow, but not truly a widow? So what does Paul mean by this?

Well, clearly he knows that all widows are widows. If a woman has lost her husband to death she will need to be ministered to. She must be honored and cared for. There are no exceptions to this. And the same can be said of widowers — a husband whose wife has passed. To be joined together for life in one-flesh union, to be bound together in a covenant of love, and to have that bond severed by death, is a very difficult thing. All widows and widowers are to be honored and cared for. 

When Paul commands that only widows who are truly widows be honored he is clearly speaking of honor being given in the form of financial support. In other words, the question is, when should a widow receive substantial and regular financial support from the church? When should she be “put on the list”, if you will. Notice that verse 9 says, “Let a widow be enrolled if she…”, and then a list of qualifications are listed. We will come to that text next Sunday, Lord willing. And the answer is that only true widows should be honored in this way. Only true widows should receive this kind of substantial and ongoing support. 

We will move through the remainder of our passage rather quickly in just a moment. But before we do let me make this very general observation based upon the phrase, “honor widows who are truly widows.” Though it is true that the church is to care for those who are afflicted, this most certainly does not mean that the church is to meet every need that presents itself in a careless and undiscerning manner. To put the matter bluntly, a church is not fulfilling the law of love if it carelessly distributes money and resources to everyone who asks for aid. Wisdom is needed. Discernment is needed. And sometimes it is right for the church to say “no”. Isn’t that what Paul is saying here? When he says “honor widows who are truly widows”, he means do not honor (with substantial and ongoing financial support) widows who are not truly widows. These are not to be “enrolled”.

Let me make a couple of very brief points of application before moving on. 

One, all of the members of Emmaus should seek to develop discernment when it comes to benevolent giving. The resources you have are God’s resources. He has entrusted them to you. And he is not pleased when you distribute those resources carelessly and foolishly. Brothers and sisters, the world is filled with scam artists. Do not be gullible. And if you know that you are prone to this, lean upon others in the church who can help you discern the difference between a legitimate offer or need, and a fraud. Also, do not believe the lie which says, it is unloving to say no to someone who is in need. Brothers and sisters, it may be appropriate to say no, not because you are unloving, but because there is a better way. 

Two, please pray for your elders and deacons that they would have wisdom as they oversee and manage the benevolence ministries of the church. Pray that the Lord would give them wisdom to know when to say yes and no and to determine how and how much.     

So, who are the true widows that Paul was referring to? Two things may be said. 

First of all, a true widow is one who is left all alone. Not only has her husband died, but she does not have family to care for her. In cases such as these, the church is to step in to meet the needs.

Look at verses 3 and 4. “Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God” (1 Timothy 5:3–4, ESV). 

This is very significant. Here Paul upholds the significance of the family. With all of the talk of the church being a spiritual family and God’s household, some might mistakenly believe that the biological family loses its significance. Not so! The church is a spiritual family. Through faith in Christ, we have God as Father. We are brothers and sisters, therefore. We sit at God’s table. This spiritual family is very significant. We have Christ in common. Together we have been reconciled to the Father. This bond that we have will last for all eternity. But this does not obliterate the importance of the biological family. God works powerfully in families. It is there that children are to be raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It is there that children are to be loved, provided for, protected, and taught to honor God and man. And notice that the bonds of the biological family continue to have significance even after the children are raised.    

Who is responsible to care for widows (and widowers)? Before the church is responsible, the children and grandchildren are. They are first up. They are to show “godliness to their own household”. They are to “make some return to their parents”. I take this to mean that children should be eager to care for their parents in their old age, just as their parents cared for them when they were young. I cannot help but mention the fifth commandments again. “Honor your father and mother”. The obligation to do so does not stop at age 18. 

Children, look at your parents. Consider how they have cared for you. Now think about the future. Someday you may have the opportunity to care for them just as they have cared for you. And you should be eager to do so. “For this is pleasing in the sight of God.” 

In fact, Paul delivers a very strong rebuke to professing Christians who refuse to care for relatives in need when it is in their power to do so. Look at verse 8:“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8, ESV).

Even unbelievers know that they are to care for their relatives. They know this because the natural law is written on their hearts. But the Christan has access to the scriptures. This should be even more clear to them.

And the Christain faith demands that we care for the orphan and widow. To refuse to do this for a family member when it is in your power to do it is to deny the faith, Paul says. This would be a denial, not in word, but in deed. 

Let me tell you what verse 8 does not mean.

This is not a rebuke to those who do not meet the needs of relatives because they cannot meet the needs. No, this is a rebuke delivered to those who have it in their power to meet a legitimate need and yet refuse to because they are selfish and hard-hearted.

Two, this is not a rebuke to those who have decided that boundaries must be kept between their household and an abusive, manipulative, or otherwise damaging relative. No, it is appropriate for Christians to be wise and discerning when offering care, as has already been said.     

As a general rule, children and grandchildren should honor their older relatives by caring for them in times of affliction. But this does not mean that there are no boundaries to be kept, or even exceptions to the rule.   

And parents, look at your children. Your objective is to send them off. But I hope that you send them off knowing how to honor God and man. If you do, I think you will be blessed in your old age, for that honor will come back to you. 

But life does not always go as planned, does it? This life is filled with sorrow and tears. And sometimes widows are left all alone. And if they are, the church is to care for them. 

Secondly, when Paul speaks of widows who are truly widows he has in mind those who have been left with nothing except their hope and trust in God. Verse 5: “She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach” (1 Timothy 5:5–7, ESV). 

The meaning is this: the church is not obligated to support a widow by providing for her excessive and self-indulgent way of life. A true widow — one who is eligible to receive substantial and ongoing support from the church — is one who is living a very simple life and is lacking even the basic necessities of life. Widows like these are the ones who are eligible to receive substantial and ongoing assistance from the church, being “enrolled” in the number. And we will talk more about what that means next week. 

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Conclusion

Brothers and sisters, the church is to be a house of honor. God is to be honored here. And we are to honor one another.

Particularly, it is to be a house where widows, and others who are afflicted, are honored. For “the LORD watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless.” This he does directly. And this he does through the care of his people. 

But this honor is not without boundaries. Families are first in line to care for their relatives. And in general, the church is obligated to meet needs, not self-indulgent desires. Wisdom and discernment are needed here. 

Brothers and sisters, this love we are to show to one another is a reflection of the love that God has poured out on us in Christ Jesus. It is a dim reflection, for our resources are limited, while his are unbounded. And we must be concerned about enabling sin when we give gifts. But God is not so concerned. When he pours out his grace he washes sin away and renews the heart. Never-the-less, our love for one another is to reflect God’s love for us in Christ. This is why he said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34–35, ESV).

Old Testament Reading: Jeremiah 23:1–5

“‘Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture!’ declares the LORD. Therefore thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who care for my people: ‘You have scattered my flock and have driven them away, and you have not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for your evil deeds, declares the LORD. Then I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them, and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply. I will set shepherds over them who will care for them, and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall any be missing’, declares the LORD. ‘Behold, the days are coming’, declares the LORD, ‘when I will raise up for David a righteous Branch, and he shall reign as king and deal wisely, and shall execute justice and righteousness in the land.’” (Jeremiah 23:1–5, ESV)

Sermon Text: 1 Timothy 5:1-2

“Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.” (1 Timothy 5:1–2, ESV)

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Please excuse any typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church but without the benefit of proofreading.

Introduction

As I was in the early stages of preparing for this sermon I almost took verses 1 through 8 together. It would have been possible. But two things led me to cover only verses 1 and 2 today. One, the subject matter of verses 1-2, and verses 3-8 is not quite the same. And two, as I reflected more and more on what is said here in verses 1 and 2, I grew convinced that we need to give this little passage our full attention.

Before we come to our text for today let me say something about where we are now in Paul’s letter to Timothy. In the previous section Timothy was exhorted to “put” good doctrine before the brothers and sisters — he was told to “command and teach” the scriptures. This he was to do for the whole congregation. He was to preach the word of God to them. But beginning with 5:1 Paul  instructs Timothy concerning how he is to relate to the variety of people within Christ’s church. Here in verses 1-2 Paul mentions older men, and older women, younger men, and younger women. Beginning in verse 3 Paul gives instructions concerning care for widows. In verse 17 Paul says something about how Timothy is to relate to the elders of the church — this is not a reference to the older men, but to those who hold the office of elder. And finally in 6:1-2 Paul says a word about how to care for bondservants in the congregation.  And so you can see that we have just now entered into a section of this letter where Paul is instructing Timothy concerning how he is to relate to the different groups within the church. Before, the instruction was general — “If you put these things before the brothers, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus…”, and “Command and teach these things.” But here the members of the church are being considered according to their particular situation in life. It is as if Paul said, here is how you are to minister to young and old, to widows, to the Elders of the church, and to bondservants.

Can you see how even the structure and progression of Paul’s letter to Timothy reveals a great deal concerning the nature and proper ordering of the church. Notice three things:

One, we should expect and hope for diversity within the church. Ideally (and things are not always ideal), Christ’s church will be filled with men and women, young and old,  rich and poor, and if the broader community is ethnically diverse, then we should hope for ethnic diversity within the church as well. We should expect Christ’s church to be diverse, for it is faith in Christ that binds the church together, and Christ is reconciling all kinds of people to the Father. Were some other thing binding the church together — some shared interest, or personal friendships — then diversity would not be expected. But since the church finds its unity in Christ, we should not be surprised to see men and women of different ages, experiences, tastes, personalities, and life situations joined together in him.  

Two, though the church is diverse, being made up of all kinds of people, the church is to be unified under Christ and under the ministry of God’s word. Notice that before Paul instructed Timothy concerning how to care for the diverse members of the congregation, he first instructed Timothy concerning how he was to care for them all. Timothy was to put sound doctrine before all the brothers and sisters. He was to “command and teach these things” to the whole congregation. Though the church will be diverse, the church must be unified. Again, what is the unifying factor? It is faith in Christ and belief in God’s word. How important it is, therefore, for all of the members — male and female, young and old, rich and poor — to assemble together to hear God’s word proclaimed, and to commune with one another and with Christ at his table. Though the church is diverse, the church is to be unified under Christ and under the ministry of God’s word.

I must say that by the grace of God one of the best decisions we ever made as a congregation was to keep our children with us in the worship service to sing, to pray, and to hear God’s word proclaimed. It has its challenges, especially  for parents of very young children. But there are solutions to those challenges. And the rewards have been great. Being almost 10 years old now as a church, we are reaping a rich harvest as many of our children are emerging into adulthood. I give thanks to God for our multigenerational church.    

Three, though we enjoy unity in Christ, this unity does not obliterate the reality of our diversity. There are in fact a diversity of people and a diversity of needs within Christ’s church, and ministers must be mindful of them all. And this is why Paul wrote to Timothy concerning pastoral care for old men and young men, old women and young women, widows, Elders, and bondservants. Ministering to a great diversity of people who have a diversity of needs can be challenging (especially for a young minister), but it is a wonderful challenge and a great blessing. How wonderful it is to converse with a small child in one moment, and then to speak with someone advanced in years in the next. Thanks be to God. 

In the passage that is before us today Paul considers the congregation as diverse in regard to gender and age. Timothy as a minister of God’s word was to provide pastoral care to men and women, young and old, in a way that was fitting. And ministers today must be prepared to do the same. 

Let us now consider the text. 

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Do Not Rebuke; Encourage

First of all, notice that the command which governs this entire passage is “do not rebuke… but encourage.” We must ask what this means. And we will get to that in a moment. But for now, understand that the  command, “do not rebuke… but encourage”, governs all that is said in verse 1 and 2.  

I’m afraid that when some read this passage they think the words “do not rebuke… but encourage” apply only to Timothy’s interaction with the older men in the congregation. And upon first reading, this does seem to be what Paul has in mind. Timothy,  “Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him…”, Paul says. It does sound like Paul has only Timothy’s relationship to older men in view when he says, “do not rebuke… but encourage.” But we must pay careful attention to the rest of the passage. Picking up at the end of verse 1 we read, “younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity” (1 Timothy 5:1–2, ESV). You’ll notice that when I read only that portion of the text, it doesn’t sound right. And why doesn’t it sound right? It is because there is no verb in that portion. Again, from the end of verse 1: “younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.” When we read only that portion of the text we are left to wonder what ministers are to do with these who are mentioned? And the answer is, “do not rebuke… but encourage.” The passage only makes sense when the verbs, “do not rebuke… but encourage” are applied, not only to the minister’s interaction with the older men, but also to the minister’s interaction with  the younger men, the older women, and the younger women also. 

The meaning is this: Timothy, do not rebuke, but encourage the congregation. Encourage the older men as you would a father. Encourage the younger men as you would a brother. Encourage the older women as you would a mother. And Encourage the younger women as you would a sister, with all purity. Do not rebuke them, but encourage them in a way that is fitting, taking into consideration their age and gender. The command, “do not rebuke… but encourage” governs the entire passage, as I have said. 

Now, some of you are thinking, but doesn’t Paul command in other places that ministers are to rebuke, upon occasion? Yes he does, as we will see. And so then you will ask, then doesn’t Paul contradict himself? Here he says, “do not rebuke”, and in another place he says “rebuke”? No, there is no contradiction if we understand this passage correctly. 

The clear teaching of the New Testament is that ministers of the gospel must be prepared to deliver a rebuke, on occasion. Jesus rebuked some. The Apostles were known to deliver rebuke. They even rebuked one another, on occasion. Even if we were to stick only to Paul’s letters we would see that this is the case.

Consider Titus 1:9. There Paul lists qualifications for pastors or elders, one of them being, “He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it” (Titus 1:9, ESV).

In Titus 1:13 Paul was referring to people who were living sinfully within the congregation when he said, “This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith…” (Titus 1:13, ESV). Titus was to rebuke these sinful people in the church, and the rebuke was to be sharp. 

In 2 Timothy 4:2 Paul encouraged Timothy to “preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.” (2 Timothy 4:2, ESV)

And finally we return to 1 Timothy and we notice that Paul instructs Timothy to rebuke even later in this very chapter. Look down to verse 20. There we read, “As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear” (1 Timothy 5:20, ESV). Rebuke them, Paul says. And rebuke them in front of the whole congregation if they persist in their sin. Who is Paul referring to here in verse 20? Who is he telling Timothy to rebuke? As we will see in the weeks to come, Paul is here commanding Timothy to rebuke elders who persist in sin — elders here being a reference to those who hold the office of elder. If an elder is found to be living in sin and is unrepentant, even he is to be rebuked in the presence of all. No exceptions are to be made on account of office or age. 

So you see we do have a difficulty in interpretation. 1 Timothy 5:1: “Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father…” (1 Timothy 5:1, ESV). 1 Timothy 5:20: “As for those [elders] who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear” (1 Timothy 5:20, ESV).

By the way, what do you do when you run into apparent contradictions like this in the text? Well, one thing you should not do is assume that the contradiction is real. This is God’s word we are handling. Also, it would be a very blatant contradiction for Paul in one verse to say “don’t rebuke” and then only a few verses down to say “rebuke”. If the contradiction were real, that would be a very big blunder. No, we should assume that there is a reasonable explanation, and we should search for it. 

In this case, the answer is found by looking at the original language. In all of the passage that I just read to you the english word “rebuke” is the translation of the Greek word, ἐλέγχω. That word is found 17 times in the New Testament and it means to “bring to light, expose, set forth”. It is translated in a variety of ways in the ESV: reprove, rebuke, expose, tell, convict. But the Greek word translated as “rebuke” in verse 1 is different. It is the word ἐπιπλήσσω. This is the only occurrence of this word in the New Testament. It too means “rebuke”, but the word is stronger. It might also be translated as “to strike” or “to snap at”. And I think that is the meaning here. It has to be! Or else we have a contradiction in this chapter. 

 What does Paul mean, then, when he says “do not rebuke… but encourage.” He means that Timothy, and all who are ministers, must not be harsh, short tempered, and snippy. Instead they must resolve to encourage the brothers and sisters, young and old. In fact, the word “encourage” in verse 1 does help us to understand what “rebuke” means, for the two ways are set in contrast to one another —  “do not rebuke… but encourage.” The word translated as “encourage” means “to ask for [something] (earnestly), to request, to plead for, to appeal…” (Louw Nida, 407)

And so when you put it all together the meaning becomes clear. Timothy was not to be harsh with the members. He was not to be short tempered. He was not to “strike” them verbally. Instead he was to come alongside the brothers and sisters, young and old, and patiently call them to faith and repentance through encouragement. He was to plead with them earnestly and appeal to them.

As you can see, in no way does this contradict those other passages that speak of rebuke, even sharp rebuke, and public rebuke. Rebuke, if it must be delivered, is to be delivered purposefully, with care and precision, and, ordinarily, only after the way of patient encouragement has failed.     

Brothers and sisters, I think our current elders have excelled in this. But it is good for us to be reminded that there is a ditch on both sides of the road of pastoral care. On the one side there is the ditch of negligence, and pastors who ignore sin within the congregation due to fear, laziness, or some other thing, do slide into that ditch. And on the other side of the road there is the ditch of harshness, and pastors who allow their hearts to grow hard and impatient towards the congregation do slide into that ditch. Brothers, it is important for us to hear the command, “do not rebuke… but encourage” and to be sure we stay on the straight and narrow. 

And it is also important for all who desire to hold the office of elder, or to minster the word of God to the congregation to hear this command. To hold the office of elder or overseer a man must meet the moral qualification set forth in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, and he must also possess the gifts required for ministry. And one of the things he must demonstrate is the ability to shepherd. Brothers and sisters, a negligent shepherd, and a harsh shepherd will both do damage to the flock of God. Let us be sure to appoint men to the office of overseer who have demonstrated that they are able to care for the flock of God (1 Timothy 3:5).

And this command,  “do not rebuke… but encourage” is also applicable to husbands and wives, parents and children — indeed, to all of the members of Christ’s church. This rule should govern all of our interpersonal relationships — “Do not rebuke… but encourage”.

 Husbands, is it your habit to rebuke your wife, or to encourage her

Wives, is it your habit to rebuke your husband, or to encourage him? 

And what about parents? Do you rebuke or encourage your children? Please do not forget the meaning of these words! I am asking, do you snip and strike verbally out of impatience? Or do you come alongside them to plead with them and to earnestly appeal to them to do what is right in God’s eyes. Fathers and mother, there is a ditch on both sides of the road of parenting too. Avoid the ditch of negligence. Do not fail to instruct and to discipline. And be sure to avoid the ditch of harshness and impatience too. 

These same principles need to be applied by children as they relate to their siblings within the home — “do not rebuke… but encourage”. And these same principles need to be applied by all of the members to Christ’s church as we relate to one another — “do not rebuke… but encourage”

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Older Men As Fathers

Well, let us now return to the text and to the main point. Paul was instructing Timothy as a minister within Christ’s church to not be impatient and snippy, but to patiently, and even earnestly, appeal to the members of the congregation to walk in a manner that is worthy. That was the general command. But in the rest of the passage Paul does inform the minister that he will need to do this being mindful of the diversity in the congregation. He is to minister to each group in a way that is fitting or appropriate. 

Older men are to be encouraged as fathers. 

We are beginning to study the 10 commandments with the help of our catechism and in the evening service. And you know that the 10 commandments are divided into two parts. The first four commands have to do with our relationship to God, and the last six have to do with our relationship to our fellow human beings. And what is the first commandment of that second table of the law? “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12, ESV). This commandment is the first commandment of the second table of the law for a reason — in fact, for many reasons. 

Where do we first learn to “love our neighbor as our self” except in the home? The very first thing we must learn to do as it pertains to relating to other human beings is to show honor to our parents. And when we learn to honor our parents, we also learn to honor others who have authority over us. And as we learn this lesson, we also come to see that particular kind of honor is to be shown even to our peers and to those who may in some way be inferior to us. It is in the home that we learn to show honor to other human beings. And it is in the home that we learn to “[preserve the honor, and [perform] the duties, belonging to everyone in their several places and relations, as superiors, inferiors, or equals” (Baptist Catechism 69).  

This order of honor ought to be maintained within the culture. There is a special kind of honor that those who are young ought to give to those who are old. This is a part of God’s moral law. In general, men know this. Most will be repulsed by the thought of a young person taking advantage of or assaulting someone who is old. But we do seem to be losing this sense of respect for the elderly in our culture, and it is lamentable. 

Again I will say that the church must be countercultural. In the church the young should honor the old. The church should be eager to show a special kind of love, care, and respect to those who are advanced in years. And those who are old should not despise their age, instead they should own it! Maybe you have noticed how I am using the words “old” and “elderly” unapologetically. It is interesting how those terms have almost become offensive in our culture. It is considered rude to ask an older person their age. If you think of it, that’s really strange. But it makes sense given the way that our culture foolish values youth over age. I cannot be this way in the church. The young should be eager to show a special kind honor to the old, and the old should not despise their age, but fulfill God’s calling upon their lives in their later years. 

“Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled” (Titus 2:2–5, ESV).

Honor is to be shown to those who are advanced in years, and that also is true for the minster. Ministers who are young must be careful to “not rebuke an older man but encourage him as [they] would a father…”

And this is one of the challenges that young ministers face! They must shepherd, not only those who are younger than them, but also those who are older. It will not do to have a large portion of the congregation without a pastor, will it?! But this must be done with a special kind of tactfulness and care. The guidance is this: “encourage him as you  would a father…” Paul assumes that Timothy understands how a father should be treated. If an adult child (or even a younger child) feels that their father needs to be exhorted in some way, they are to do it with tactfulness and care. This does not rule out the possibility of a pastoral rebuke. But it does show how young ministers are to shepherd older men in the congregation, generally speaking. 

I will say, one thing I am grateful for is a diversity of ages amongst our elders and deacons. I do believe that the pastoral care provided by the eldership and the diaconal care provided by the deacons of this church has been greatly strengthened over the years by the presence of older officers, thanks be to God.   

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Younger Men As Brothers

As we continue on, notice that Paul  commands that young men be encouraged as brothers. Timothy was to address the younger men in the congregation as brothers. 

This is interesting. Paul does not say, address them as sons, but as brothers. We know that Paul referred to Timothy as his child in the faith. By that he meant  he led Timothy to the Lord, or he nurtured Timothy in the Lord. But here he says encourage the young men as brothers.

I will build upon what I said a moment ago. The fifth commandments, when properly understood, not only establishes that children are to show honor to their parents, but that honor is to be shown to all people in a way that fits your relation to them. And I hope you would agree that it is right for a brother to show honor to his brother, and for a sister to show honor to her sister. If you think that it is ok to treat your brother or sister with disrespect given that they are your equal, then you have believed a lie. You have not understood the command of God. It is true, a child is to show a special kind of honor to their parents. But it is also true that a child owes a kind of honor to their siblings. You are flesh and blood, after all. Sadly, we do sometimes treat the members of our own household worse than we treat strangers. Friends, this should not be. Instead, we should be eager to show honor to our siblings. This is true when we are young, and when we are old. And Paul assumed that Timothy knew this. And so he urged Timothy to encourage the younger men in the congregation in the way that way that he would encourage a brother.

There is a lot that could be said about this. But let me make this one point: I think it is important that we do not talk down to the young people in this church. Instead, we should show a special kind of love, concern and appreciation for our young people. Perhaps you have noticed that in the next 5 years we will see a lot of young people emerging into adulthood. Let those who are older encourage them as brothers and as sisters. That will be my aim as a pastor. I think we have some very exciting years ahead of us.  

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Older Women As Mothers

Paul then says that Timothy is to encourage older women as mothers. 

I don’t know that I have much to add here beyond what I have already said concerning the honor that is to be shown to older men. The same is true in regard to older women. 

I will add this one thing: for as much as we have said regarding the responsibility that men have to lead within the church and home, I do hope it is understood that we have tremendous love and respect for the women of this congregation. At the risk of sounding as if I am sucking up to the women, I will say that there is something particularly impressive about females. There is in them a wonderful mixture of strength and tenderness. And the men of the congregation, young and old, would be wise to acknowledge this, to encourage its development, and to give thanks to God for it. 

Whenever the topic of gender comes up in the scriptures I do wonder what the world would think if they were listening to the preaching. I’m sure they would think that the men of this church are chauvinistic, and the women are beat down and kept low. But then I say to myself, if only they would come and see the beauty of it! If only they would come and see how the men of this church honor their wives, and how strong the women of this church are! I do not claim that we are perfect in this. But in general, I do see in this congregation a deep love and appreciation for the fairer sex. And yes, I understand that phrase is very much out of style, but I don’t care. We will do it God’s way, and the world will do it their way, and we will see which way is better in this life and in the life to come.    

Brothers and sisters, those who are advanced in years are to be honored, and the older women are to be particularly cared for, as we will see in the next section. 

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Younger Women As Sisters, In All Purity

 Lastly, and very briefly, Timothy was called to encourage the younger women as sisters, in all purity.

Again, I don’t have much to add beyond what I have said in that section concerning the younger men. The same applies here. But I will say a word about the phrase, in all purity. 

Timothy, being a younger minister, was to be especially careful in his interaction with the younger women of the congregation. He was to care for them as sisters. But he was to be sure to guard his heart and to keep his way pure. I don’t need to tell you about the dangers. And I don’t need to tell you about how many have made a shipwreck of their faith by stumbling in this way. Ministers must  be very careful when ministering to the young women of the congregation. Boundaries must be set and kept. For example, never should a minister be alone with a woman of the congregation, and this is especially true of the younger women.   

But this phrase, “in all purity”, does apply to all of us, and not just to ministers. All are to walk in purity. It does not matter if you are young or old, if you are married or single, if you are a pastor or member. All are to walk in purity in thought, word, and deed, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality…” (1 Thessalonians 4:3, ESV). “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8, ESV). Obey God law, brothers. Follow the path of wisdom, “So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words, who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God; for her house sinks down to death, and her paths to the departed; none who go to her come back, nor do they regain the paths of life” (Proverbs 2:16–19, ESV).

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Conclusion

I do love to think about the diversity in Christ’s church. Truly, the church is like a family. You don’t choose your family. You’re born into it. And neither have you chosen your spiritual family. You have been born into it. And there is great diversity, by God’s design. 

Let us be sure to love one another in Christ despite our differences, giving honor to whom honor is due. And as we walk together in this world, let us not snip at one another, but encourage one another faithfully. 

Ministers are to remember that they are servants in Christ’s church. They are to care for Christ’s bride; for Christ’s flock. Negligence will not be tolerated, and neither will a harsh domineering disposition. Christ will judge the man who treats his bride in this way — his bride who has washed with his own blood.