Old Testament Reading: Isaiah 59

“Behold, the LORD’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear; but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear. For your hands are defiled with blood and your fingers with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies; your tongue mutters wickedness. No one enters suit justly; no one goes to law honestly; they rely on empty pleas, they speak lies, they conceive mischief and give birth to iniquity. They hatch adders’ eggs; they weave the spider’s web; he who eats their eggs dies, and from one that is crushed a viper is hatched. Their webs will not serve as clothing; men will not cover themselves with what they make. Their works are works of iniquity, and deeds of violence are in their hands. Their feet run to evil, and they are swift to shed innocent blood; their thoughts are thoughts of iniquity; desolation and destruction are in their highways. The way of peace they do not know, and there is no justice in their paths; they have made their roads crooked; no one who treads on them knows peace. Therefore justice is far from us, and righteousness does not overtake us; we hope for light, and behold, darkness, and for brightness, but we walk in gloom. We grope for the wall like the blind; we grope like those who have no eyes; we stumble at noon as in the twilight, among those in full vigor we are like dead men. We all growl like bears; we moan and moan like doves; we hope for justice, but there is none; for salvation, but it is far from us. For our transgressions are multiplied before you, and our sins testify against us; for our transgressions are with us, and we know our iniquities: transgressing, and denying the LORD, and turning back from following our God, speaking oppression and revolt, conceiving and uttering from the heart lying words. Justice is turned back, and righteousness stands far away; for truth has stumbled in the public squares, and uprightness cannot enter. Truth is lacking, and he who departs from evil makes himself a prey. The LORD saw it, and it displeased him that there was no justice. He saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no one to intercede; then his own arm brought him salvation, and his righteousness upheld him. He put on righteousness as a breastplate, and a helmet of salvation on his head; he put on garments of vengeance for clothing, and wrapped himself in zeal as a cloak. According to their deeds, so will he repay, wrath to his adversaries, repayment to his enemies; to the coastlands he will render repayment. So they shall fear the name of the LORD from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun; for he will come like a rushing stream, which the wind of the LORD drives. ‘And a Redeemer will come to Zion, to those in Jacob who turn from transgression,’ declares the LORD. ‘And as for me, this is my covenant with them,’ says the LORD: ‘My Spirit that is upon you, and my words that I have put in your mouth, shall not depart out of your mouth, or out of the mouth of your offspring, or out of the mouth of your children’s offspring,’ says the LORD, ‘from this time forth and forevermore.’” (Isaiah 59, ESV)

New Testament Reading: Ephesians 6:10-20

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.” (Ephesians 6:10–20, ESV)

*****

[Please excuse any and all typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church, but without the benefit of proofreading.] 

Introduction

In Ephesians 6:10-20 we find the last major section of Paul’s letter to the church in Ephesus. You will notice that there is also a final greeting found in 6:21-24, which we will eventually consider. But 6:10-20 is the last major section in the body of Paul’s letter, and it is a grand finale. 

Here the Apostle, by way of conclusion, exhorts the church to be strong in the Lord, to prepare themselves for battle, to take up their spiritual armor, and, having done all of this, to stand firm against the Evil One in the evil day. It is a rousing conclusion to his letter. Based upon all that Paul has previously taught, he concludes with a call to arms — a call to the church to put up vigorous spiritual fight. 

This portion of Paul’s letter is perhaps the most well known and beloved portion, and for good reason. It is here that he lists for the Christian the pieces of spiritual armor that are ours in Christ Jesus. In Christ we have a belt of truth, a breastplate of righteousness, and shoes for our feet, the readiness of the gospel of peace. Faith is our shield, salvation is our helmet, and the word of God is our sword. And so in Christ we are well equip for life in this world, which is here described as a battle. It is no wonder that Christians throughout the ages have loved this text, for it is deeply encouraging to know that God has provided for our every need in Christ Jesus so that we can indeed stand firm in the evil day. 

It would be possible, I suppose, to consider all of verses 10-20 in one sermon. These verses do belong together. But I have decided to consider this passage in three parts so that we might carefully glean from the riches that are here. And though it is true that versos 10-20 belong together, this text does also divide neatly into three parts. In verses 10-13 we find the initial command to be strong in the Lord and to dress for battle, knowing that we have an enemy in the heavenly realm who is fierce. In verses 14-17 the command to stand firm is repeated and there is again a call to spiritual arms, but here the Christian’s spiritual armor is detailed. In Christ we have been provided with full armor — a belt, a breastplate, shoes, a shield, a helmet and a sword. And finally in verses 18-20 there is a call to prayer. Prayer is so crucial to the Christian life — it is so integral to the process of dressing for battle, and to our standing firm — that it is given special attention. We are to gird ourselves for battle and we are to stand firm, verse 18, “praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication” (Ephesians 6:18, ESV). In other words, the Christian is to dress for battle and stand firm through prayer. There is so much here to consider that it is best to take this section in three parts, I think. And so let us consider only verses 10-13 today.

*****

Be Strong In The Lord

In verse 10 we find a command: “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might”, the Apostle says. 

The word “finally” does indicate that Paul is bringing his letter to a conclusion, but it also communicates that this is what Paul wants his readers to devote themselves to in response to all that he has said — Finally… devote yourselves to this, is the idea. Baugh, in his commentary on Ephesians, suggests that we use the word “henceforth” to bring the meaning of this Greek word across. “Henceforth, grow strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might”, is the translation that he provides (Baugh, 538). “Finally”, that is to say, from now on and in light of all that I have said, “grow strong in the Lord.”

Notice that this is a command. “Be strong in the Lord”, the text says. We might also use the English word “grow” to bring across the progressive aspect of the Greek present tense. “Grow strong in the Lord” is the command. A Christian who is complacent, who is leaning back in his spiritual chair with his spiritual feet up, if you will, is disobeying this commend. The Christian is always to be pursuing more maturity and strength in Christ. Complacency in the Christian life is deadly. Apathy is dangerous, for we are not at home — instead we are sojourners and exiles in this world. We are not living in peacetime — instead we are at war, as we will see. And so I ask you, is there anything more dangerous than for a man to live as if there is peace all around when in reality there is a war raging outside, a fierce enemy at the gates? That man — a man who has grown complacent in war time — is in grave danger. 

As Paul brings his letter to a conclusion he wishes to leave his readers with something, and that is the command to grow strong. Do not grow weak, brothers and sisters. Do not plateau in Christ or grow complacent. But instead. grow strong in him. This is your responsibility. It is something that you must choose to do — and we must do it until the Lord calls us home. 

I’m reminded of what Paul revealed to us back in 3:14 of his epistle. There he reveled the content of his prayers to us, saying, “For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:14–19, ESV). We know that Paul prayed for the Ephesians — and for all who are in Christ — that they would be strengthened in the inner being. We know that he believed that if they were to be strengthened, it would be because God, by his grace, had granted it. We know that if they were to be strengthened it would be the work of the Spirit. And we know that this strength would come about only as the Ephesians grew in love and faith and in their comprehension of the love of Christ for them. 

There in 3:14-19 Paul revealed that he prayed for these things, for Paul knew that God does work through the prayers of his people. But here in 6:10 he commands that Christians do these things. “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might”, he says. I do hope that we, like the Apostle, are faithful in prayer. But I also hope that we, like the Apostle, are men and women of action and obedience when we rise from prayer. Grow strong in the Lord, is the command.

That little phrase, “in the Lord”, is very important, for the Lord is the source of all true strength. Paul does not merely say, “be strong”, but “be strong in the Lord”. And to make the point more clear he adds these words, “and in the strength of his might.” We are not strong in ourselves. Any strength that we do have is from God. This is true even for those who do not believe in God, though they think otherwise. In pride, sinful men and women imagine themselves to be strong, when in reality they are very frail and weak. In fact, we humans are not only frail and weak, we are noting apart from God. God is our Creator. We would not exist apart from him. And he is our sustainer. We would not continue to exist were it not for his preservation of us. He is the self-existent one. He is the one who has life in himself. But we are not these things. We owe our existence to God. And every breath we breath is a gift from him. And yet so many live as if they themselves are strong, — in fact the are weak. As the prophet Isaiah says, “All flesh is grass, and all its beauty is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the LORD blows on it; surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever” (Isaiah 40:6–8, ESV).

The Christian knows this. The Christian understands that our existence is owed to God — he is our Creator and Sustainer. We confess that our life is in his hands, every breath is a gift, that he provides our daily bread, and that “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17, ESV). 

Though we know this — though we would all certainly confess this to be true — we sometimes forget to live as if it were so. Sometimes we forget to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Sometimes we grow complacent. And sometimes we slip back into those old habits of looking for strength when in ourselves. Brothers and sisters, we must send our roots deep down into God to draw our strength from him. We must abide in Christ, the living vine, if we hope to have life in ourselves and to bear much fruit. 

Be strong, but do not forget that where your strength is found. The source of all strength is God in Christ. He is infinitely powerful. His strength is inexhaustible. And this is why the Psalmest has said, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever’ (Psalm 73:26, ESV). And this is why the Apostle has said in a tother place, “I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9–10, ESV).

“Grow strong” is the command. Do not be content with faith that is weak. “Be strong”. But be sure to draw your strength, not from within, but from the Lord and the strength of his might.  

*****

Put On The Whole Armor Of God

One question that you might have is, how do we do this? It is one thing to say, grow strong in the Lord — draw your strength from him — but how? How do we do this? 

The scriptures use a variety of terms and analogies to teach us what it means to grow strong in Christ. I’m thinking of that famous passage in John 15 (which I have already alluded to) where Christ exhorts his disciples to “abide” in him. Just as a branch cannot live apart from the vine, neither can we live — much less, bear fruit — apart from him. And how do we abide in Christ? By abiding in his word and by keeping his commandments. I’m reminded also of that parable that Jesus taught comparing the house built upon the sand and the house build upon the rock. The while both had the appearance of strength at the beginning, only one was truly strong, for only one of those houses had a strong foundation. And how do we build our lives upon a strong foundation? Christ says, “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock” (Matthew 7:24, ESV). Again, to be strong in Christ is to hear his words, to believe and obey them.

Here in Ephesians Paul uses the analogy of armor to teach us how we are to grow strong in the Lord. “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil” (Ephesians 6:10–11, ESV).

Here we find another command. The first was “grow strong”, the second clarifies how we are to grow strong: “Put on the whole armor of God”, the Apostle says.

The items of this armor will be detailed for us in the next passage which we will consider in detail next Sunday. For now it will suffice to say that these pieces of spiritual armor — the belt, breastplate, shoes, shield, helmet and sword — all have reference to Christ and his word in Paul’s analogy. The belt is the belt of truth. The breastplate is the breastplate of righteousness — Christ’s righteousness inputed to us and received by faith. The shoes are the preparedness of the gospel. The shield is the shield of faith. The helmet is the helmet of salvation. And the sword is the sword of the Spirit, the word of God. So when Paul commands us to put on the armor of God he is commanding us to daily gird ourselves with Christ and his word. We are to clothe ourselves with the truth of Christ, his righteousness, his gospel, our faith in him, and the salvation that is ours through him. The Christian is to take up the sword of the Spirit, that is, the word of God, so that he might fight with it. This is how we are to grow strong — by daily dressing ourselves for spiritual battle, which means that we are to take Christ and his word and apply it to our mind and heart, our waist and feet — indeed, to our whole being — so that we might be able to stand firm in him.

As I have said, we will consider the pieces of our spiritual armor more carefully on the next Lord’s Day. For now, let us make three general observations about the command of verse 11. 

One, Paul describes the armor that he commands us to put on as the armor “of God.” This does not mean that it is the armor that God wears, but that this is the armor that he provides. This is the spiritual armor that Christ wore in his earthly ministry. And this is the armor that God gives to his people — those who are united to Christ by faith. In Christ we have, not only the forgiveness of sins, reconciliation with God, and an eternal inheritance, but all that we need to live victoriously in this world. “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence…” (2 Peter 1:3, ESV). “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:31–32, ESV). On of the things that God has provides is armor.

Two, the Apostle commands the Christian —each and every Christian — to put on the whole armor of God. The English words, “whole armor” translate one Greek work, “πανοπλία”. One Greek lexicon defines πανοπλία as “a complete set of instruments used in defensive or offensive warfare (usually, however, with emphasis upon defensive armament, including helmet, shield, breastplate)—‘weapons and armor’” (Johannes P. Louw and Eugene Albert Nida, 56). The Lord’s army is well supplied. The armor that we have been given is a complete set. 

Three, the Apostle commands Christian to put on this complete set of armor. God has provided it for you in Christ, but here Paul is commanding you to put it on. You must daily gird yourself for battle. 

As I have already said, one of the principle ways that the Christian puts this spiritual armor on is through prayer. This is what Paul will eventually say. After elaborating on our spiritual armor he says, “praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication” (Ephesians 6:18, ESV). Daily and continual prayer is one of the principle ways that the Christian puts on this armor which God has supplied. As soldiers of the Lord we are to pray, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” (Matthew 6:9–13, ESV). And when we speak to God in prayer we must also allow him to speak to us through his word. It is by receiving God’s word, believing and obeying it, and by speaking to God in prayer, that we do in fact put on this complete armor which God has supplied.

So are you girding yourself for battle, Christian? Are you daily, even momentarily, putting on the belt, the breastplate and shoes which God have given you? Are taking up the shield, applying the helmet and taking up the sword? Are you dressing for battle? Or have you grown complacent? 

*****

That You May Be Able To Stand Against The Schemes Of The Devil

Finally, we come to the reason for this armor. Why do we need it? So that we might be able to stand against the schemes of our fierce enemy, the Devil. 

If you do not believe that we have an enemy — if you are not convinced that there is a battle that rages in the spiritual realm — then you will not put on the armor of God. But if you understand that there is a war that rages between the kingdom of darkness and the kingdom of light, then you will prepare for battle. 

At the end of verse 11 Paul states the purpose for putting on the armor of God: “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil” (Ephesians 6:11, ESV).

The devil is our spiritual adversary. He does not work alone, but through the angels who fell with him at the beginning of time and through the world that remains under his power. 

Paul refers to the “schemes” of the devil. The devil is crafty and deceptive. He does not always attack head on, but often from behind or the side. He attacks in ways that we might not expect, and seeks to capitalize on our weakness. The Christian must remember that our enemy is cunning and deceptive. We must be ever on the lookout, therefore. 

And Paul’s desire is to see us “stand”. There is of course a sense in which the church of Christ is to advance the kingdom of God in this world. This she is to do through the proclamation of the gospel, the planting of churches and discipleship of believers. Jesus promised that his church would advance in this world until he returns when he spoke to Peter saying, “you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18, ESV). The kingdom of God will advance in this world. The gates of hell will not prevail against it. But here in this passage Paul is calling us to take a stand against the onslaughts of the evil one. Here the Christian is to recognize that they will always be under attack. “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil” (Ephesians 6:11, ESV). And again, in verse 13 he says, “Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm” (Ephesians 6:13, ESV). The armor that God has provided is well suited for such a task. Armor for the body, a shield to extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil and to deflect his blows, and sword to fight back with, so that we might withstand him in the evil day. 

And in verse 12 the Apostle more precisely identifies our enemy when he says, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12, ESV). We do not only have the devil and his schemes to contend with, but also the demons — those angels who fell with him at the beginning of time. 

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth is the physical world that we obverse with our physical eyes. But the heavens that God created in the beginning are invisible to us. God’s glory is uniquely manifest in the heavenly realm. The angels exist in this heavenly, that is to say, spiritual and invisible realm. And there are fallen angels too — spiritual beings who oppose God and his people. Our fight is with them, ultimately.

“We do not wrestle against flesh and blood”, the Apostle says. If we did, then physical armor would do. But the battle is not physical, it is spiritual. And so we must gird ourselves for spiritual battle with God’s spiritual armor. This spiritual battle does manifest itself in the physical realm, of course. The evil one is prince of this world. But the battle is heavenly and spiritual before it is physical, and we must never forget this. 

The church is prone to forget this. We tend to believe what we see with our natural eyes. But what we see with our eyes are the effects of a spiritual battle that rages in the heavenly realm. We must not forget about that battle — the invisible one that rages behind the visible. We must see that battle with eyes of faith. If we forget about that battle, then we will find ourselves fighting the wrong fight, and with the wrong weapons. 

Think upon this, friends. God’s spiritual armor is needed because “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12, ESV). 

*****

Concluding Prayer

Lord, give us eyes to see.

Help us to know for sure that there is a battle that rages all about us in the spiritual realm.

May be wake each day being mindful our enemy who is crafty and fierce. 

And may we have the wisdom to dress for battle, lest we be overrun.

Make us strong, O Lord, so that we might indeed stand firm in these evil days, for our good and your glory.

Amen.

Old Testament Reading: Exodus 22:21–28

“You shall not wrong a sojourner or oppress him, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt. You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry, and my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless. If you lend money to any of my people with you who is poor, you shall not be like a moneylender to him, and you shall not exact interest from him. If ever you take your neighbor’s cloak in pledge, you shall return it to him before the sun goes down, for that is his only covering, and it is his cloak for his body; in what else shall he sleep? And if he cries to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate. You shall not revile God, nor curse a ruler of your people (Exodus 22:21–28, ESV).

New Testament Reading: Ephesians 6:5-9

“Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free. Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.” (Ephesians 6:5–9, ESV)

*****

[Please excuse any and all typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church, but without the benefit of proofreading.] 

Introduction

I probably don’t need to tell you that the subject that is before us today is a delicate one. It was a delicate subject in Paul’s day, and it is a delicate subject in ours, but for different reasons. 

In Paul’s day slavery was interwoven into the fabric of society. It was institutional. It was legal under Roman law.  To give you an idea of how pervasive slavery was in Roman society, historians estimate that as many as 1/3 of the residence of Ephesus were slaves. Most of them worked in agrarian contexts and were, therefore, crucial to the stability of that society. Economic stability depended upon them. The food supply depended upon them. Slaves would become slaves for a number of reason. Perhaps it was through military conquest. Perhaps a person fell into economic hardship and thus had no other option but to sell themselves into slavery for a time. In those days unwanted infants were sometimes left outside to die of exposure, and slave traders would pick them up to sell them as slaves. Others were simply born into slavery. It was not at all uncommon for slaves to be treated very harshly by their Roman masters. Neither was it uncommon for slaves to be rebellious (and even violent) towards their masters. So when Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus he knew that there would certainly be slaves and masters within the congregation. He knew that these “bondservants”, as they are called here in the ESV, were considered apart of the family in that culture. And so Paul addressed the relationship between master and slave as he gave instructions for the household — husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and slaves are addressed by the Apostle. Please understand that what Paul says here to masters and slaves was in fact revolutionary, provocative and controversial in his day. I will say a little more about how Paul’s word’s would have been received by his first century Greco-Roman audience in a moment. But for now, please understand that this was a delicate issue even then. 

In our day the issue is delicate but for different reasons. For those of us living in the United Stated in the year 2020 it is difficult for us to read the words “masters” and “bondservants” and to not think about the slavery that existed in this country not long ago. And when we think about that form of slavery, we understand that it was unjust and are right to celebrate its eradication. In our countries history a large portion of the population considered a particular race of men to be an inferior race. Black men and women, boys and girls, were unjustly treated. They were deprived of their natural rights. They were oppressed. And so it is right for us to condemn slavery as it existed in the American context. And it is right for us to see to it that it is thoroughly and forever eradicated. As we live within this society and seek to promote justice in this land never should we tolerate laws that favor or oppress one race of men over another. This is a part of our civil responsibility. As Christian men and women it is right for us to engage in the political realm and to promote justice whenever possible.   

Thankfully, slavery is no longer legal in our nation. Slavery is no longer interwoven into the fabric of our society. It is not institutional, as it was in our nations histiory and in first century Rome. But slavery does exist in the world. There are even slaves in our land. I’m am here thinking of those slaves who have been trafficked illegally. And so I think it is important to say from the outset that Paul’s words do not in any way apply to this form of slavery, which is illegal, purely exploitative, sinful and unjust. Stated differently, in no way does Paul say to this kind of slave — a slave who has been trafficked illegally and exploited — “obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ…” (Ephesians 6:5, ESV). Certainly not! And the one who is in bondage to this kind of slavery should seek to escape these bonds at the first opportunity, and to seek the assistance of others, particularly our criminal justice system. To the one who has been stolen away or enticed into this form of slavery I say, you are in no way obligated to submit to this oppression. Christians, we must be mindful of the fact that this kind of evil does exist within the world, and we should be eager to eradicate it from our society as we have opportunity as citizens of this land.  

As we consider Paul’s instructions to Christian masters and bondservants we should notice that he neither condemns slavery as inherently sinful, nor does he condone slavery as an institution to be desired. Instead, he simply addressed slavery as a matter of fact and gives instructions to Christian slaves and masters so that they might walk in a manner that is worthy of the calling to which they had been called, even within the context of this undesirable institution. 

Marriage was instituted by God at creation. So too was the family. Even in the garden, before sin entered the world,  Adam and Eve were to fill the earth. They were to raise their children in the Lord until they themselves were joined in marriage to another and established households of their own. Slavery was not instituted at creation, but came to be only through the effects of the fall of man into sin. As men and women grew destitute, or were conquered by others more powerful than themselves, they became slaves. And so, though slavery — that is to say, the practice of one man having authority over another’s time, energies and abilities — may not be inherently evil, its presence in the world can only be explained if one considers the fall of man into sin and it’s effects. And we know that slavery — though it may not be not inherently evil — is most often sinful, as men oppress others unjustly and treat them harshly, failing to honor them as made in the image of God. 

When I say that slavery is not inherently evil I mean that it is not impossible to imagine a situation where someone comes to be a slave — a bondservant or indentured servant — in a way that is just. Perhaps they become destitute. Perhaps they have become so indebted to another that they must sell themselves into slavery for a time inorder to free themselves from the debt. Perhaps the time of service is the penalty for a crime committed where recompense is required. I understand that our economic and judicial systems do not function in this way. And I am not here trying to make a case for it. But I think that we must acknowledge that economic and judicial systems have functioned this way throughout most of the history of the world, and I do not think that we can label them sinful or unjust automiatically. And in situations such as the ones I have described, it is not impossible to imagine a master treating his bondservant fairly, justly, and even with kindness. This is why I have said that we should be careful to not condemn all forms of slavery as inherently evil. It would be very easy for us to do this given the form of slavery that was only recently eradicated from our land, and given the tendency that men have had throughout the history of the world to abuse their authority, and to oppress those who are under them. Given these realities it would be easy to condemn all forms of servitude as inherently evil, but this would be careless, I think. It would miss the point and fail to identify with precession the true evil and injustice that has often plagued the institution of slavery throughout the history of the world. In fact, though we have eradicated all forms of legal and institutional slavery from our society, it is possible that we have introduced other forms of injustice in its place. Only by carefully defining justice will we be able to identify injustice. We must consider these matters carefully, friends, lest we trade one evil for another.    

So why have I said this? Why have I bothered to say that, though slavery is often sinful, it is not inherently so? Why I have bothered to point out that there are different forms of “slavery” — some may be just, while many others are unjust? Well, it should be obvious, I think. As I have said, Paul does not condemn slavery as inherently sinful, nor does he condone slavery as an institution to be desired. Instead, he simply addressed slavery as a matter of fact and gives instructions to Christian slaves and masters so that they might walk in a manner that is worthy of the calling to which they had been called, even within the context of this undesirable institution. The same could be said of Paul’s statement in Colossians 3, and of his letter to Philemon. In this epistles Paul takes the same approach. And I might also mention that this is the approach taken within the law of Moses. Were the practice inherently sinful, then Paul (and others) would have condemned it outright. Paul would have insisted that Christian masters have nothing at all too do with the institution. But instead, he takes a more measured approach, commanding bondservants and masters alike to walk worthily — that is, to act justly and in love — even within the context of this undesirable and often corrupt institution. 

To be clear, I am not proposing that slavery of any kind is to be desired. It is far better that a society finds a way for men and women to pay off their financial debts, for example, while maintaining their freedom. And to be clear, I am in full agreement that the form of slavery that existed in this country not long ago was sinful, given the circumstances. A key component of that form of slavery was the idea that one race of men was inferior to another. This is contrary to the scriptures, which teach that all men are created equal being made in God’s image. Furthermore, the slavery that existed in this country was forced. The treatment of slaves was often unjust and inhuman. Natural rights were consistently violated. It is good that that form of slaver has been thoroughly eradicated from this land.  

I am simply trying to think carefully about the issue and with some precession so that we might understand why the scriptures say what they say about the issue, and refrain from saying things that we might wish that they say from our modern vantage point. It is crucial that we think carefully about this delicate and emotional issue. And I’m afraid that much of the present discourse on the subject of race and slavery is careless. One crucial error this is being made is that historical figures are often judged without consideration being given to the time in which they lived. Yes, I suppose that many living in modern times would wish that Paul had labored to emancipate all slaves and to abolish the institution as it is existed in the ancient world. But such an opinion is naive. It ignores the realities of life in the ancient world. We must be careful when judging the character of men and women living in times past. We should formulate our opinions concerning their thoughts and actions carefully, taking into consideration the times in which they lived. 

Now would probably be a good time for me to say something about the decision of the ESV translation committee to translate the Greek word, doulos as “bondservant” instead of “slave”, as it is in the NASB and NIV. I will let them speak for themselves. What they say in the the preface to the ESV translation is very helpful, I think. They remark that “a particular difficulty is presented [in translation work] when words in biblical Hebrew and Greek refer to ancient practices and institutions that do not correspond directly to those in the modern world. Such is the case in the translation of ‘ebed (Hebrew) and doulos (Greek), terms which are often rendered ‘slave.’ These terms, however, actually cover a range of relationships that requires a range of renderings—‘slave,’ ‘bondservant,’ or ‘servant’—depending on the context. Further, the word ‘slave’ currently carries associations with the often brutal and dehumanizing institution of slavery particularly in nineteenth-century America. For this reason, the ESV translation of the words ‘ebed and doulos has been undertaken with particular attention to their meaning in each specific context. Thus in Old Testament times, one might enter slavery either voluntarily (e.g., to escape poverty or to pay off a debt) or involuntarily (e.g., by birth, by being captured in battle, or by judicial sentence). Protection for all in servitude in ancient Israel was provided by the Mosaic Law, including specific provisions for release from slavery. In New Testament times, a doulos is often best described as a ‘bondservant’—that is, someone in the Roman Empire officially bound under contract to serve his master for seven years (except for those in Caesar’s household in Rome who were contracted for fourteen years). When the contract expired, the person was freed, given his wage that had been saved by the master, and officially declared a freedman. The ESV usage thus seeks to express the most fitting nuance of meaning in each context. Where absolute ownership by a master is envisaged (as in Romans 6), ‘slave’ is used; where a more limited form of servitude is in view, ‘bondservant’ is used (as in 1 Corinthians 7:21–24); where the context indicates a wide range of freedom (as in John 4:51), ‘servant’ is preferred” (The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016).

As we now begin to turn our attention to Paul’s instructions to bondservants and masters I want for you to recognize that his teaching was in fact revolutionary and countercultural in his day. 

Furthermore, I want for you to see that what Paul taught concerning the relationship between masters and bondservants would in fact contribute to the eventual eradication of the ancient slave system, which was often marked by injustice, brutality and oppression. 

When Paul wrote his letter to the Ephesians he had very little influence amongst the Romans. And the Christian church to whom he wrote also lacked cultural influential — they were at that time nothing more than a persecuted minority. But over time the churches influence would grow, and the biblical teaching that all men are created equal, being made in the image of God, would have an impact upon the prevailing culture. And this should always be our hope, by the way. As we live as salt and light in the world we should hope to, not only further God’s kingdom on earth through gospel proclamation and by teaching Christ’s disciples to obey all that he has commanded, but even to impact the cultures of this world for good. We are to promote justice and peace. We are to seek the good of the city and nation in which God has placed us as we ourselves keep God’s law and urge others to do the same. As it pertains to slavery — slavery — especially the racially motivated, unjust and oppressive kind — cannot survive in a culture where the majority of men and women believe the truth that all men are created equal, being made in the image of God. And that is what Paul here teaches, as we will see. He will apply this principle to masters insisting that that they treat their bondservants with dignity, knowing that they both have the same Master in heaven, and there is no partiality with him. And over time  — though Paul would not live to see the day — the truths would contribute to the abolition of the ancient trade system as the church, and the churches teaching, grew in prominence. God’s ways are mysterious indeed.

*****

Bondservants, Obey Your Earthly Masters

Before we consider Paul’s exhortation to masters, we must consider his exhortation to bondservants. If Paul’s exhortation to masters was countercultural in his day, his exhortation to bondservants is countercultural in ours. 

To the salves within the church Paul wrote, “Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.” (Ephesians 6:5–8, ESV)

Notice that Paul does not encourage bondservants to cast off the yoke of their earthy masters (as we might wish), but to obey them with fear and trembling.

Notice that he doesn’t not qualify this command saying, so long as your masters are just and kind. 

And notice that what Paul says to bondservants correspond to what Paul says to others regarding submission to the authority that is over them. Children are to obey their parents in the Lord. Wives are to submit to their0 husbands as to the Lord. And it is Peter who says that they are to do this “so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives…” (1 Peter 3:1, ESV). And in another place Paul address the Christian’s submission to civil authority, and he makes no exception for rulers that are ungodly (which they certainly were in his day!). He only says, “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God” (Romans 13:1, ESV).

The exception to rule is that when Christians are pressed to choose between obeying earthly authorities and God, they are to obey God and not man. And such would be true for bondservants as well. If pressed to obey God or their earthly masters, they must choose to obey God, no mater how severe the consequences (Lord, help those who are being pressed to make such a choice in the world today!).

But in general, Christian bondservants were commanded by the apostle to “obey [their] earthly masters with fear and trembling…” 

Again, I will remind you that slavery was legal under Roman law. Bondservants played an important role in the economic system. Their work was crucial to the stability of the food chain. You may wish that Paul had encouraged disobedience and revolt, but the time was not right, nor was it Paul’s view that it was his place as an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, nor did he teach that individuals should bring about change within the culture through rebellion. Furthermore, the reality is that if Paul had encouraged a slave revolt on the basis of unjust treatment he would have been sending these Christian slaves to certain death at the hands of the Romans. Instead, he urged submission to the authority that was over them, despite the imperfections.

This concept of submission to authority is sometimes difficult for modern day Americans to receive. But I will ask you to consider this: perhaps we are the ones who’s view is flawed. Perhaps the problem is with us. Perhaps we are too individualistic, too in love with our rights and freedoms. Just maybe, we need to learn how to honor the authorities that are over us, flawed as they may be, as we pray and wait patiently upon the Lord to right the wrongs that trouble us so deeply in our society. This does not mean that we must be passive. In fact, we must seek to influence the world around us for good through our patient and persistent presence as salt and light. But we must also honor the authorities that God, according to his sovereign will and infinite wisdom, has determined to set over us at this time.

As I have said, this principle of submission is constantly applied in Ephesians to wives, to children, and to bondservants. And what Paul says to bondservants is particularly instructive. Though no one here is a bondservant, all of us are under some earthly authority. And what Paul says to bondservants concerning submission to their masters may be picked up and applied by us. 

First of all, Paul commands Christian bondservants to obey their earthly masters. This is simple enough. Just as a child is to obey their perents, so bondservants are to obey their masters. Though all are equal in Christ, as we will see — and though all humans are of equal worth, given that they have all been made in the image of God — the world has been designed in such a way that some have authority over others within society. Obedience is to be offered up to those who have authority. 

Secondly, Paul commands Christian bondservants to obey their masters from the heart. This principle is peppered throughout verses 5-8. Bondservants are to obey with fear and trembling. They are to have a true and sincere respect for their masters. They are to not to obey “bt the way of eye-service, as people pleasers…” I think you understand what this means. They are to obey, not superficially, but sincerely from the heart. They are to serve their masters faithfully in a way that is  becoming of a Christian, truly wishing to do them good and not evil. I think of the way that Joseph served in Potiphar’s house and also in the prison. He was faithful to his  master (even though the circumstances that brought him to Egypt were unjust). He served his master not only when he was looking, but even when he was away. This is the way that Christian bondservant should serve — sincerely and from the heart, “reinserting service with a good will”, the text says. And this is also how children, wives, and citizens should honor the authority that is over them — with sincerity in the heart. 

Thirdly, Paul commands bondservants to sincerely obey their masters as to Christ. This principle is also peppered throughout this text. And this principle is key if bondservants are to consistently serve their earthly masters, especially those who are unjust. They are to serve their earthly masters “as [they] would Christ”. They are to obey them “as bondservants of Christ”. They are to do their masters’ will because it is “the will of God”. They are to render “service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free” (Ephesians 6:7–8, ESV). 

This principle that we are to honor those who have authority over us as unto the Lord is what makes it possible to honor earthly and often sinful authority figures sincerely and from the heart. Friends, just as bondservants were to honor their earthly masters, so you are to honor those who have authority over you. This you are to do for Christ’s sake. This obedience is to be offered up, not to man ultimately, but to God. It may be that you are treated poorly in return, but God see both your faithful service and your unjust treatment. He will repay both. 

The story of Joseph again looms large. He was faithful to God in Potiphar’s house and in the prison. He honored Potiphar and the prison guard despite the injustices. And God, in due time, did lift him up out of the pit to reward his faithfulness. Jospeh is a model for us. And in his life we see that God is sovereign even over our sufferings. He is faithful. He is able to deliver us and to reward our devotion. He rewarded Jospeh in this life. Certainly he will reward all of his servants in the life to come.  

As I have said, no one here is a bondservant. And it is difficult to find a relationship that is similar to that of a bondservant to a master in our modern day, so care should be taken when seeking to apply this text to other relationships that are not the same. But there are some principles here that can be applied by wives in relation to their husbands, children in relation to their parents, members in relations to their elders, students in relation to their teachers, employees in relation to their employer, officers in relation to sergeants, and citizens in relation to police, governors and presidents. In Christ we are to “Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.” (Romans 13:7, ESV)

Lord help us to honor those who have authority over us. Help us to do it sincerely and from the heart. Help us to submit to authority, as to Christ and for his name’s sake.   

*****

Masters, Do The Same To Them

Finally, we come to Paul’s instructions to Christian masters. As I have said, these words would have seemed radicle in the first century Roman world. Verse 9: “Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him” (Ephesians 6:9, ESV).

No one here is a master in the sense that Paul uses the term. But anyone who has any kind of authority can learn from what Paul says to masters. 

He commands masters “to do the same to them”. This is an astonishing statement — at least it would have been to his Roman audience. When Paul says, “Masters, do the same to [your servants]” clearly he does not mean that they are to offer up obedience to their servants. Instead, he means that masters are to do the will of God as it pertains to their servants. They are to serve them with the love of Christ as they honor them as fellow human beings made in the image of God. Bondservants are not to be viewed as property, but as people, and they were to respected as such. 

Remember how Paul, after commandingbondservants to obey their masters also addressed their heart? Well, in the same way Paul addresses the heart of the masters when he says, “and stop your threatening”. Masters should not even have an oppressive, harsh or condescending attitude towards their servants, but should love them with the love of Christ. 

And remember how Paul urged the bondservants to obey their masters as to the Lord? Well, Paul also urges masters to treat their servants as equals being mindful of God who is in heaven. They were to “do the same to them, and stop [their] threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.”

Every human authority must wield their power with the heart of a servant, in love, being ever mindful that they themselves are under authority — the authority of God. He sees injustice, he hears the cry of the oppressed, and he will surely pour out his wrath upon the oppressor.   

*****

Conclusion

As we come now to a conclusion, I want for you to mindful of the fact that when Paul wrote these words to masters and bondservants, he wrote them to the church in Ephesus. In that church there were both masters and bondservants united in Christ. Of course his words apply to the non-believing master and bondservant also, but they must be applied within the church. For in Christ “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for [we] are all one in Christ Jesus. And if [we] are Christ’s, then [we] are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise” (Galatians 3:28–29, ESV).

The world is divided according to race, class and gender. In the world the strong oppress the weak. But in Christ we are united together as one. We are all made in God’s image, sinners saved by grace, washed in the blood of the lamb. Black and white, male and female, rich and poor, slave and free, stand equal in him. 

In the church we get a foretaste of the glory of the new heavens and earth, where people will stand in perfect unity  “from every tribe and language and people and nation…” In that day they will be “a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth”, having been ransomed by the blood of the lamb (Revelation 5:9–10, ESV). And I am saying that in the church we get a foretaste of the unity that will exists in the new heavens and earth, for our union is rooted not in the color of our skin, nor in gender, nor in class, but ion Christ. The things that divide the world will melt away on that last day. And they must melt away even now in Christ church, which is the manifestation of the kingdom of God in this present evil age. 

The world is so very divided, but in Christ there is unity and peace. Peace among men can only be accomplished through peace with God. We must first be at peace with him, through faith in the Savior he has provided. And as we come to God as the Maker of us all, and to Christ as the Savior of us all, and submit to their authority, the things that divide us within the world will melt away and seem inconsequential.

Lord, help  your church. Have mercy on us Lord. May we be found as servants of Christ who love with the love of Christ no matter our station in life, all to the glory of our Savior King. Amen. 

Old Testament Reading: Exodus 20:12-17

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you. You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.” (Exodus 20:12–17, ESV)

New Testament Reading: Ephesians 6:1-3

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’” (Ephesians 6:1–3, ESV)

*****

[Please excuse any and all typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church, but without the benefit of proofreading.] 

Introduction

I have given this sermon the title, “It All Starts In The Home”. And this statement is true as pertains to individuals learning how to be good and productive members of society in general, and how to honor authority — wherever it exists —  in particular. All of that starts in the home as children learn to honor their father and mother. This is what the Apostle teaches here in Ephesians 6, and his teaching is rooted in God’s law, as you can see. Children are to learn to not covet (but to be content), to not lie (but to promote the truth), to not steel (but to labor with their own hands doing honest work so that they may have something to share with those in need), to not commit adultery (but to be faithful to the marriage covenant, and to all other covenants), to not murder with hatred in the heart (but to love from the heart), and to honor authority wherever it exists — this they are to learn in the home by first honoring their father and their mother. It all starts in the home. The home is the place where Christian children are to learn to keep the first table of the law (which has to do with the proper love and worship of God), and where all children are to learn to keep the second table of the law (which has to do with the proper love and treatment of fellow human beings). It all starts in the home, for the first and principle commandment of that second table of the law is in fact, “honor your father and your mother.”

I have begun the sermon this way — by stepping back just a bit from Paul’s specific command to Christian children to “obey [their] parents in the Lord” —  so that you might see from the outset that although Paul addresses Christian children directly, what he says to them has far reaching implications for the church and for society in general. 

Paul, remember, is addressing life within the Christian home. He is applying the wonderful and rich truths that he had established earlier in his epistle to family relationship. In 4:1-5:21 his focus was upon life within the church. There he exhorted us to walk worthy as the people of God in this world by preserving unity, pursing holiness and “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21, ESV). But in Ephesians 5:22 and following the focus is upon the home, or the Christian family. Wives are to submit to their own husbands, as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22, ESV). Husbands are to “Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her….” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV). And now we hear Paul say, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1, ESV).

The focus is upon family life. But let us not forget that what happens in the family will have profound impact upon the church and upon society. This is why I have said, it all starts in the home. 

*****

The Command

The command that the Apostle issues is very straight forward: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord…” (Ephesians 6:1, ESV).

Children are addressed by the Apostle directly. This fact is easy to overlook, but it is very significant. We are to remember that Paul wrote this letter to the church in Ephesus. This letter was to be read aloud to the church. And Paul’s assumption was that children would be present to hear the reading of his letter, for he addresses them, saying, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord…”

Yes, the Apostle’s expectation was that children — even small children — would be present in the Christian assembly to hear his letter read. This has been the practice of the church throughout church history. Children — even small children — would sit in the assembly with their parents. They would grow up under the ministry of the word. They would learn to worship and to pray alongside their parents. It was not until very recently that the church has (in some circles) decided to send their children off to another place during corporate worship. The effects have been devastating, I think. Many children leave the church when they reach adulthood in part because they were not truly raised in the church. But Paul, when writing to the church in Ephesus, addressed the children directly, saying, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord…

Children, please listen carefully to me. It is so very important for you to be here. It is important for you to worship God — to sing to him, to pray to him, and to listen to his word preached. I do understand that it can be difficult sometimes to understand everything that is said. And sometime it can be hard to focus for such a long time, especially if you are very young. But it is important that you try. And as you try to listen, and as you try to understand, you will grow. You will mature. 

And please understand that you are very blessed to have a parent or parents who have faith in Christ. You are very blessed to be brought up in a Christian home where the good news of Jesus Christ is explained to you and where the faith is taught. It is a privilege to be raised in the Lord. Our prayer and our expectation is that one day you will make a profession of faith of your own. Our hope is that you will come to say, “I trust in Christ for the forgivness of my sins” and “Jesus is Lord”. And it will be then, when that credible profession of faith is made, that you will be baptized in water and invited to the Lord’s Table. Until then, your parents will strive to raise you up in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord”, and you are to honer them by obeying them, for that is what the scripture says: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord…” 

Children, it is very important for you to obey your parents and to honor them. 

When you obey your parents you are really obeying God, for God is the one who has command that you honor and obey them.

God designed men and women to live this way. His design was that children would be born to a mother and father who are joined together in the covenant of marriage. The child is to grow up in that environment. There the child is to learn many things. There child is to learn to love God supremely, and to love his or her neighbor as themself. The child is to learn wisdom. The child is to learn to honor authority — God’s authority, and the authorities that exist within the world by God’s appointment. And this the child will learn from the experience of showing honor and offerning up obedience to mom and dad.

Children, be careful to honor your parents. Be careful to obey your mom and dad. Do not give in to the temptation to disrespect them or to disobey them. You are to obey your parents even when you don’t feel like it. You are to obey your parents even when you think they are wrong. You are to show them honor and respect even when you think they are being unfair or unreasonable. As the text says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord…”

That phrase in the Lord is very important. Paul assumes that these children to whom he is speaking are being raised in the Lord — they are being taught the faith and they are hearing the gospel. He probably assumes that many of them have faith already. And he assumes that the ones who have not yet made a credible profession will do so in the future. 

By the way parents, I think this should be the attitude that we have towards our children. On the one hand, we know that they are born into this world, not in Christ, but in Adam. We know that they are born, not into the Covenant of Grace, but the broken covenant of works. This means that we must be diligent to proclaim the gospel to them, teach the faith to them, and pray for true repentance and a credible profession. Never-the-less, we must also raise them in the Lord. I believe that our expectation should be that they will believe upon Christ. Our hope should be that when asked, when did you first believe? they will respond by saying, I can’t say for sure. I can remember my baptism, but I cannot remember a time when I did not believe, for I was raised in Christ. Everyone’s testimony is different. Some will come to faith later in life. We rejoice in that also. But we should seek to raise our children in the Lord. And when we urge them to obey, we should urge them to obey in Christ — that is to say, for the sake of Christ, and with the strength that he provides — just as the Apostle does. Though our children are not born into faith, nor into the Covenant of Grace (in any sense), they are sanctified by the believing parent, for that parent is to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4, ESV)

Children, when you obey your parents you are to do it in the Lord. You are to obey them for the sake and with the strength he provides. Remember that something similar was said to wives concerning their submission to their husbands: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22, ESV). And something similar was also said concerning there husbands headship over the wife: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV). And we could even look ahead to consider Paul instructions to fathers, bondservants and masters. In every instance the command to lead or submit has reference to Christ the Lord. Fathers are to bring their children up in the Lord. Bondservants are to serve their earthly masters sincerely as “bondservants of Christ”. And Masters are to rule being ever mindful of the fact that Christ is their Master.  In each and every instance, then, authority and submission is to offered up as and act of submission to Christ.

To make it more concrete, children when mom or dad asks you do something, or tells you that you can’t do something, it is important that you honor and obey them even if you don’t like their decision. You shouldn’t talk back. You shouldn’t show a fit (neither the toddler kind of fit, nor the teenager kind). Instead you should say, “yes, mom” or “yes, dad” and then follow that up with obedience and respect. Ultimately you should do this in the Lord and in service to Christ.  

One last question before moving on to the rationale and the motive. Is there ever a time when a child should disobey his or her parents? You might be surprised to hear me say, yes! A child is right to disobey his or her parents when what the parent commands or forbids is in direct contradiction to what God commands or forbids. I doubt any of our children will ever experience this, but some children in the world do. To give a rather innocuous example, if an unbelieving parent were to say to a child who believes, you are not aloud to pray to God or to speak of Christ to your friends, the child is right to pray and to speak of Christ, for when the two are in conflict we are bound to obey God and not man. But even then the child should offer up the righteous disobedience respectfully and with pure conduct. 

*****

The Rationale

Let us now consider the rationale of the Apostle. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right”, he says. Why should children obey their parents? What is the rationale or reason? The Apostle says they should obey, “for this is right.” 

And what does  it mean for something to be “right”?

Consider three things: 

One, things are right when they are in accord with the way God designed them to be. God designed the world and all that is in it to function in a particular way. Things are right when they function according to God’s design. They are wrong when they out of step with God’s design. As it pertains to the family, God’s design is that wives submit to their husbands, that husbands loving lead their wives by giving themselves up for them, and that children honor their parents by obeying them. Things are right when each one is doing their part. Something is wrong when they do not. The Christian must understand this most foundation truth: in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. And he designed the world in general, and the family in particular, to function in a particular way. We ought to be eager to do what is right — this is, to live according to God’s design — in the family, and in every other sphere of life.  

Two, things are right when they are in accord with God’s moral law as revealed in nature. Not only has God designed the world in a particular way, he has also revealed his moral law to men and women. In fact, the scriptures are clear that he has written this moral law on man’s heart. Paul teaches this most clearly in Romans chapters 1 and 2. There he speaks of this law that is written upon the heart of every person. And there he speaks of the conscience that resides within man. The obligation for children to honor and obey their parents is not unique to Christian children. All children are to honor their parents. This is a part of God’s moral law, written upon the heart of man at creation. God’s moral (or natural) law reveals what is right. Even the unbeliever who does not have access to the scriptures has access to this moral law. It is written upon their heart (even though they have suppressed and distorted it), and it is apparent in the world that God has made (even if they are blind to it). Those who are wise in the world perceive God’s moral law and strive to keep it. Something is right when it is in accord with God’s moral law as revealed in nature. 

And three, something is right when it is in accord with God’s moral law as revealed in scripture. Yes, God’s moral is revealed in nature. It is revealed so clearly that men and women are justly held accountable for breaking it (God will judge them by this law on the last day). But God’s moral law is revealed much more clearly in the scriptures. In the scriptures we find the moral law. The ten commands are a summary of it. And in the scriptures we find wisdom. They tell us how we ought to live with great specificity and clarity. And of course the gospel is also revealed there. Through we have violated God’s law in thought, word and deed, and though we are deserving of God’s judgment, he has mercifully provided a Savior, Christ Jesus the Lord. Through faith in him we have the forgivness of sins, reconciliation with God, and the hope of life eternal, along with many other blessings. But here we are talking about the law. God’s moral law is revealed in the scriptures clearly and concretely. And in the scriptures the Christian learns what is right and what is wrong. 

Notice that the Apostle, after commanding children to obey their parents, and after declaring that “this is right”, then supports his claim that this is right by quoting the fifth of the ten commandments, which says, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” I suppose that Paul could have demostrated it is right for children to obey their parents by reasoning from nature and appealing to the natural law. He could have argued that it is good for the children to learn to respect authority, that it is good for society, and that children obeying their parents within the family has been the custom in all societies from the dawn of time. But Paul is writing to Christians who believe the scriptures to be the word of God, and so he simply sites the command of to prove that this is right: “Honor your father and your mother”, the law says. 

Friends, you cannot earn salvation through the keeping of the law. As it pertains to our right standing before God, the law condemns us, for we have all broken God’s law. We cannot expect to be justified by keeping God’s law, for we are all transgressors. In this sense, the law is a curse to us. It condemns, if cannot save. 

But let us not forget that law of God is good. Indeed, it is very good provided that we approach it properly. The law is good in that it shows us our need for a savior. It is used by God to drive sinners to faith in Christ. The gospel is that Christ keep the law of God for us, and he died in the place off sinners, death being the just penalty for sin. The forgivness of sins is recieved through faith in Christ. But before we can repent and believe, we must recognize our need for a savior. And we will recognize our need only by considering God’s law as we come to the realization that we have broken it, and knowing that we stand before God guilty and condemned. In this sense, the law is good. It is good that we know the truth concerning our sin and guilt, and thus recognize our need. 

And the law is also good in another sense. The moral law of God, reveled in nature generally, and reveled in scripture specifically and clearly, tells us what is right and what is wrong. Men and women living in this world struggle to know what is right and wrong. This is due to the corruptions in them, their blindness and hardness of heart. But the scriptures reveal it clearly.

What should the Christians attitude be towards the law? We must start by confessing that it cannot save. Salvation is only through faith in Christ who, as the God-man, kept the law on behalf of sinners and bore the curse of the law in the place of sinners. But on the other hand, the Christian should love and cherish the law of God, for the Spirit of God uses the law to discipline those God loves, and to guide them in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 

Our attitude towards the law should be the same at the Psalmests as expressed in Pslam 119. There we read, among other things, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Blessed are you, O LORD; teach me your statutes! With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth. In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches. I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways. I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word. Deal bountifully with your servant, that I may live and keep your word. Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law. I am a sojourner on the earth; hide not your commandments from me! My soul is consumed with longing for your rules at all times. You rebuke the insolent, accursed ones, who wander from your commandments. Take away from me scorn and contempt, for I have kept your testimonies. Even though princes sit plotting against me, your servant will meditate on your statutes. Your testimonies are my delight; they are my counselors.” (Psalm 119:9–24, ESV)

Brothers and sisters, may this be your prayer also. May it be true of you that you store up God’s word in your heart, long to be taught the statutes of the Lord and delight in them as much as in all riches, knowing that by keeping them you will bring glory to God and find the blessings of life abundant. 

Little ones, it is our prayer that you would learn this truth from a young age. May the Lord bless you with wisdom. May he use the law to bring you to  faith in Christ. And once in the faith, may the law of God be your delight. I pray that you soon come to see that living under God’s authority and in obedience to law of God is the very best way to live. And the very first place that you will learn this is in the home as you learn to obey your parents. This is right. For the law says, “Honor your father and your mother.”

*****

The Motive

Lastly, let us briefly consider the motive. After Paul quotes the fifth commandment, which says, “Honor your father and mother”, he adds the remark, “this is the first commandment with a promise”, and then continues on with quoting the fifth commandment, which does indeed contain a promise, saying, “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land” (Ephesians 6:2–3, ESV). Here is a motive for children to honoring and thus obey their parents: “that it may go well with [them] and that [they] may live long in the land.”

When Paul says that the fifth commandment is the first commandment with a promise he means two things. 

One, the fifth commandment is the “first commandment” in the sense that it is the leading or principle commandment in the second table of the law. As you know, the moral law of God is summarized in ten commandments. And those ten commandments are divided into two sections. The first four commands have to do with man’s relation to God. The last six have to do with man’s relation to man. And the fifth commandment — honor your father and mother”, is the first or principle commandment of the second table of the law. As I have said, learning to love and properly relate to man begins in the home. It is in the home, though obedience to parents, that children are to learn to keep commandments six through ten from the heart. I think this is what Paul means when he say that the fifth commandment is the first commandment. It wouldn’t make much sense for him to say that the fifth commandment is the first commandment to have a promise attached to it, for in fact, it is the only commandment with a promise. In this case “first” means first in rank or importance. 

Think about that for a moment. If I were to ask, which commandment of the last 6 is of first importance?, what do you suspect most people would say? I suspect they would choose the sixth commandment which is, “you shall not murder” on the grounds that murder is the most heinous sin forbidden sin the second table of the law. But Paul identified the fifth as being the first in rank. And in fact, God himself identified the fifth as first I rank when he gave it the position that he did, as head of the second table of the law. To state the matter differently, I wonder if most people wouldn’t consider the fifth to be of least importiance.  Murder, adultery, stealing, lying and covetousness — those are bad sins! But disobedience within the home… what’s the big deal? God’s perspective is the opposite. Though the sin of murder is heinous, men and women murder from the heart. And it is in the home that heart is to be trained to love God as supreme and to love others as yourself. It all starts in the home, and so the command to honor father and mother is given first place.  

And two, Paul then draws our attention to the fact that this first commandment does have a promise attached to it, namely, ”that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Let me make a few remarks about this promise. 

Originally, the promise was delivered to Israelite children and so the promise of long life in the land had specific reference to the land of Canaan. If Israelite children would honor their parents they should expect to have a good and blessed life in the land of Canaan. 

Two, this promise is to be understood as general precept. Certainly therefore some in Israel who, although they did in fact honor their father and mother, experienced difficulty in this life and lived only a short time in the land. This is the reality of life. Sometimes the righteous suffer while the wicked prosper. The promise concerning a blessed and long life is to be understood as a general precept. The Proverbs are also to be interpreted in this way. Generally, those who are diligent in their work prosper, while sluggards come to ruin, but this is not always true. There are exceptions to the rule. And generally when parents “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6, ESV). But this is not always the case. The word “promise” here in Ephesians 6 must be understood in this way as it pertains to life on this earth. Generally, honoring ones parents leads to a blessed and long life in the land, whereas those who are rebellious  come to ruin. 

Three, Paul applies this same principle to the New Covenant people of God who do not have a land of their own as it pertains to the Kingdom of God, but live as exiles and sojourners. The promise is that those whop honor their parents will in general, and in one way or another, be blessed wherever God has planted them in his good providence. 

This promise concerning a blessed life and along life is a motivation for obedience. It is not the only motivation. I’m not even sure it should be our primary motivation. A child should honor his or her parents being driven, above all else, by their love for God, their love for their parents, and because it is right. But this is a motivation none-the-less — those who honor their parents will be blessed as they live on the earth. For those who are in Christ, it will certainly be true in the world to come. Those who honor their father and mother are storing up treasures in heaven. 

*****

Conclusion

Let me make just a few brief suggestions for application by way of conclusion. 

The most obvious is this: Children, it is so very importaint that you honor and obey your parents. Do this because it is right. Do this in the Lord, trusting him for your salvation, depending upon him for strength, and for his glory. Honor and obey your parents even when you don’t feel like it. Honor and obey them even when you disagree with them, our don’t understand why they are taking the position that they are taking. This is something that young children must decide to do. Instead of talking back to mom and dad, or throwing a fit when you don’t get what you want, littles ones should learn to say, “yes, mom” and “yes, dad”. If you are a young child you should decide to always honor your parents and to obey. And this is also true for older children who are still living at home. You too must decide to always honor and obey mom and dad, even if you don’t quite understand or agree with their point of view. This is right. This is pleasing to the Lord. The day will come when you will leave your father and your mothers house to form your own. Then the obligation to obey your parents will come to an end. But you will still need to honor them in the Lord. Think upon these things, children. Ask yourself, do I honor and obey my parents, or am I disrespectful and disobedient. If you love God and Christ, you should show it by obeying your patents.  

Secondly I will address the parents. Parents, we must teach our children many things as we prepare them for adulthood, but one of the most fundamental things we must teach our children is how to respect authority. They will learn this primarily by learning to honor you, their parent. As they learn to honor and live in obedience to you, they will also learn how to honor God and those whom God has delegated power within the civil and ecclesiastical realms. Stated negativity, if child does not first learn to honor their parents, they will struggle to honor God and this who have authority over them in the world, whatever kind of authority that may be. Therefore parents should not tolerate willful defiance and disrespect from their children. The scriptures are clear, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him” (Proverbs 13:24, ESV). Parents must discipline their children. And sometimes corporal punishment is appropriate. Corporal punishment must be delivered very carefully though. Never should parents spank out of anger. Never should parents be overly harsh with their children, doing physical harm. Never should parents fail to instruct before and after punishment, especially punishment of this kind. And never should parents fail to reassure their children of their love before and after corporal punishment is administered. And lastly, parents must choose carefully when to administer corporal punishment. Children should not be spanked for being children — for being hyper or careless, or for making some other mistake associated with their immaturity. By I do believe that spankings are in order where there is willful deference and disrespect of the parent, or some other authority figure. It is imperative that children learn to honor their father and mother. And corporal punishment does have a way of grabbing the attention and communicating that it is a grave sin to dishonor the authority that God has placed over them. I suppose I will have an opportunity to say more about this when we consider the next verse which says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4, ESV).

Thirdly and lastly I will speak to all Christians saying, as we seek to promote the wellbeing our society we must encourage others, even non-believers, to form strong families by appealing to God’s moral law as revealed in nature and  in the Holy Scripture. God’s design is that children would be conceived by a man and a woman devoted to one another for life in the bonds of marriage. His design is that the man and women would fulfill their commitments to one another as husband and wife, and that they would fulfill their obligations to the child as mother and father. Christian parents must be encouraged to love one another in the Lord, and to raise their children in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4, ESV). This should be our primary concern, for this will also promote the advancement of the kingdom of God on earth. But if we care for the well being of society (which we should) then we will also encourage the formation of healthy families even amongst those who do not believe. I can’t think of a better way to do this then by example, and through personal interaction with others as we live as salt and light in the world. 

Husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, must not neglect marriage and the family in order to chase after other pursuits. God instituted marriage and the family in the beginning for the good of society, and also as instruments to be used for the furtherance of the kingdom of God on the earth. 

I’ll leave it to you to consider the weaknesses and wickedness that exist with the church today and within our culture and to ask, how much of this can be traced back to a breakdown within the family? We should certainly seek the wellbeing of our society and encourage strong families where children will be taught to honor authority and to obey God moral law. But brothers and sisters, it must start in our families. Parent’s must take seriously the responsibility too raise their children in the Lord, to teach them God’s law and how to live according to wisdom. And children, you must also do your part: “obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land’” (Ephesians 6:1–3, ESV).

Old Testament Reading: Leviticus 19:9–18

“When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap your field right up to its edge, neither shall you gather the gleanings after your harvest. And you shall not strip your vineyard bare, neither shall you gather the fallen grapes of your vineyard. You shall leave them for the poor and for the sojourner: I am the LORD your God. You shall not steal; you shall not deal falsely; you shall not lie to one another. You shall not swear by my name falsely, and so profane the name of your God: I am the LORD. You shall not oppress your neighbor or rob him. The wages of a hired worker shall not remain with you all night until the morning. You shall not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block before the blind, but you shall fear your God: I am the LORD. You shall do no injustice in court. You shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great, but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbor. You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the LORD. You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.” (Leviticus 19:9–18, ESV)

New Testament Reading: Ephesians 5:25-33

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:25–33, ESV)

*****

[Please excuse any and all typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church, but without the benefit of proofreading.] 

Introduction

In the previous passage the Apostle began to encourage a worthy walk within the Christian home. He started by commanding wives to submit to their own husbands, as to the Lord. And while the sermon last week was directed mainly towards wives, there was something for all of us to learn about submission and authority in general, for we are all called to submit to someone, and most have authority over someone. In our submission, we are to submit as to the Lord. And in our authority, we ae lead with the love of Christ.

Here in the passage that is before us today the Apostle turns his attention to Christian husbands and says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV). 

*****

The Command: Husbands, Love Your Wives (v. 25)

You will notice that the Apostle devotes three times as much space to his instructions for husbands when compared to his instructions for wives. But you will also notice that the command that he gives to husbands is really quite simple. The central command is restated three times in this passage. Verse 25: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” Verse 28: “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.” And verse 33: “However let each one of you love his wife as himself.” Clearly the Apostle’s central concern is to communicate that husbands are to love their wives. Everything else that he says in this passages communicates the manner, rationale and motive for the husband to fulfill the command to love his wife. 

It should be recognized that Paul does not command the husband to rule or to merely lead his wife, but to love her. It would not have been surprising for Paul to say, husbands lead you wives, given what he said about the relationship between the wife and husband in the previous passage. Consider verses 22-24 again: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Given this teaching, it would not have been unreasonable for Paul to say, husbands lead your wives. But he does not. Instead, three times he tells husbands to love their wives. This is how they are to lead, by loving.

When Paul wrote to the Colossians and addressed the relationship between husbands and wives he was  more  direct. To them he said, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:18–19, ESV). You will notice that Paul says essentially the same thing to the Ephesians, but here the Apostle elaborates. In Ephesians Paul also addresses the manner, the rationale and the motive for the husbands love. 

In our day it is what Paul says to wives concerning submission that is considered controversial. But in the first century Greco-Roman context Paul’s command for husbands to love their wives would have been considered controversial. It was not at all uncommon for husbands to maintain a rather cold and utilitarian kind of relationship with their wives. Wives were to bear children. They were to raise the children and manage the home. Often times husbands were content if they could simply trust their wives to fulfill these duties. Tenderness and sense of companionship was often lacking. But Paul commands Christian men to go beyond this. They are not to rule or merely lead, but to love their wives. And this view springs quite naturally from the biblical view of marriage. In marriage a husband and wife enter into a one flesh union. In marriage a husband and wife are companions by virtue of their covenant bond. It will not do, therefore, for a husband to rule his wife or to merely lead her. Instead, the Christian husband is to love his wife. This is how he is to lead her — this is how he is to fulfill his role as head over her — he is to love her. 

Now love is terribly misunderstood in our day. Many assume that love is an emotion that is felt. Many equate it with romance and attraction. And while love does sometimes involve these things, it is something else at its core. 

To love is to “count others more significant than [yourself].” To love is to “look not only to [your] own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3–4, ESV). To love is to take the posture of a servant. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7, ESV). And this is how husbands are to treat their wives. They are to loving lead them. 

Stated differently, husbands are to treat their wives in the same way that all Christians have been called to treat one another. Consider again Ephesians 4:25. I’ve adapted the text to make it specific to the marriage bond. Husbands are to “put away falsehood… [and] speak the truth with [their wife], for [they] are members one of another. [If they are] angry [never are they to] sin; [they should] not let the sun go down on [their] anger…” Verse 29: They are to “let no corrupting talk come out of [their] mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to their [wife].” They must not “grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom [they] were sealed for the day of redemption.” They must “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from [them], along with all malice.” The husbands is to be “be kind to [his wife], tenderhearted, forgiving [her], as God in Christ forgave [them]” (Ephesians 4:25–32, ESV). Christian husbands are to relate to their wives in a Christianly way. They are not held to a lower standard when it comes to their relationship with their wife, but a  higher one! Not only are they united  to their wives in  Christ (assuming they are also believers), they are also bound together in one flesh union, as we will see. The standard is not lower, by higher, therefore. If all Christians are called to relate to one another as described in Ephesians 4:25ff., how much more are they to relate to their wives in this wife! 

So Christian husbands are not called to rule over their wives or to merely lead them. They are called to something higher!  They are to lead in love, “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church…” (Ephesians 5:23, ESV).

*****

The Manner: Love Her, As Christ Loved The Church (vs. 25-27)

In the second half of verse 25 the Apostle begins to describe the manner in which the husband is to love his wife. What should his love look like? That is the question. And Paul answers saying, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” 

The Christian husband is to lead his wife, for he is the head of his wife. He has authority over her. He is responsible for her, therefore. And how is he to lead? He is to lead by loving her. And what is this love to look like? What is it to involve? Once more, the Christian husband is to love his wife “as Christ loved the church.” If the Christian husband wishes to know how to love his wife he must look to Christ and carefully consider Christ’s love for the church. There is his model! Just as Christ is the head of the Church, so too the husband is head of his wife. And the husband is to love his wife “just as Christ loved the church.” 

So how did Christ love the church? Well, many things could be said about that. But Paul’s little phrase, “and gave himself up for her” sums it up nicely. Christ loved the church — that is to say, all who will believe upon him to the salvation of their souls — by giving himself up for her. And this is how the Christian husband is to relate to his wife. He is to mimic Christ by giving himself up for his bride. 

Christ lived for the good of his bride — that is to say, the church. He suffered for her. He died for her. He saw to it that her every spiritual need was provided for. In short, he gave himself up for her. And the Apostle elaborates on what Christ has done for his bride saying that he gave himself up for her “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:26–27, ESV).

There are two metaphors being utilized here in verses 26 and 27. 

First of all, Paul uses the language of sacrifice and purification to describe what Christ has done for the church. He gave himself up for her as a sacrifice. That is the meaning. 

By the way, the doctrine of limited atonement is taught here. Question: For whom did Christ die? Answer: he died as a sacrifice for his bride, that is to say, the church. He died for the elect of God in every age. And this corresponds to John 10:15 where Jesus is heard saying, “I lay down my life for the sheep” (John 10:15, ESV). But I digress. 

The question that is before us today is, how did Christ love the church? And the answer is that he gave himself up for her as a sacrifice so that he might sanctify her — that is to say, set her apart and make her holy — “having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word”. Again, this is the language of sacrifice and purification. Christ shed his blood so that his people might be cleansed. And they receive this cleansing through the hearing of the word of God, the gospel of truth, as they believe upon his name, all of this being symbolized in the waters of baptism. And this is what the Apostle has in mind when he says, “having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…” Christ has purified his people by giving himself up for them.

Secondly, Paul uses the language of a wedding when he says, “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish…” The church is the bride of Christ. The church — that is to say, all who believe upon Christ in every time and place — has been purified and cleansed by Christ in preparation for her wedding day. That is what Paul is here refering to. And when will this wedding be? Answer: When Christ returns!

Do not forget what that angel said to John near to the end of the book of Revelation: “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb” (Revelation 19:9, ESV).

And remember how Paul spoke to the corinthians saying, “For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ” (2 Corinthians 11:2, ESV). Clearly, this was Paul’s view. The church is the betrothed bride of Christ. She is betrothed to him and will be wed to him, spiritually speaking, at the consumption of all things. Then we feast at the the wedding supper of the Lamb. 

Now clearly, the husband is not Christ. He is not the Savior of his wife. He did not, nor can he, die for her to atone for her sins. He cannot sanctify her in the way that Christ can. But the husband is to memic Christ in these things. The husband is to love his as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her. 

Christ’s love for the church is unconditional, friends. He loved us and gave his life for us, not because we were deserving, but by his grace alone. He loved us, not because he found us to be lovely, but to make us lovely. We were his enemies, remember, were dead in our sins and by nature children wrath, “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:4–7, ESV). Christ’s love for the church is unconditional. And so is the husbands love for his wife to be. And yet so often our love is conditioned upon the performance of others. Though we might never say it with our lips, we say it in our hearts: I’ll love you provided that you are lovely. But this is what the law says, and not the gospel. In the law God says, do this and you shall live. And none, except one, can keep it. And so none, except one, will find life in the law. But the gospel says, live, for this is what Christ has done for you unconditionally! Husbands, will you love your wives unconditionally as Christ has loved the church.   

Christ’s love for the church is sacrificial. He gave himself up for her. And I will not repeat what I have already said, but will simply remind you to think beyond the heroic, and to bring this principle into the day to day realities of marriage. When you rise from bed in the morning do not first think, what do I want out of today? But what does God want from me, and what would please my wife and meet her needs? Brothers, if this sounds like miserable to you, then you have not yet learned the way of Christ the Servant.    

Christ’s love for the church is a sanctifying love. Again, the husband is not Christ. Neither is the husband the Holy Spirit. Never should he try to be. Sanctification is God’s work to do, not ours. But the husband is to be used by the Lord to sanctify his wife, just as the wife will surely be used by the Lord to sanctify her husband. Husband, encourage your wife in the faith. Pray for her. Minister the word of God to her. Never be harsh with her, which is what Paul specifically warns against in Colossians, saying, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:18–19, ESV). And it is what Peter had in mind when he said, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7, ESV). Never should the husband be harsh. And neither should he nag or nitpick. In fact,  a husband would be wise to affirm his wife often, to build her up with his words, and to be very careful when offering words of criticisms. “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4, ESV)

The command: Husbands, love your wives. 

And in what manner, you ask? “…as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”

*****

The Rationale: Love Her, For You Are One Flesh With Her (vs. 28-31)

Now we turn our attention to verses 28-31 where the Apostle reasons with husbands to love their wives on the basis of their one flesh union with them. The argument is this: brother, love your wife, for you are one flesh with her! Given that you are one with her in the marriage bond, loving your wife means that you love yourself.

Listen again to verses 28-31: “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:28–31, ESV)

Notice that Paul roots his reasoning in scripture by quoting Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” When a husband and wife enter into the covenant of marriage, they become one flesh. Their lives  are joined together as one. This is true of every legitimate marriage whether or not the couple knows it. 

And notice the mention of the church union with Christ with the words,  “just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” So again, there is a connection that  is to be made between the one flesh union that exists between husbands and wives, and the Spirit wrought union that exists between Christ and all who believe upon his name. If we have faith in Christ then we are joined to him by the Spirit. He is the head, and  we are the body. 

And finally, notice the rationale. If it is true that a  husband is so joined to his wife in the covenant of marriage, then it follows that he would be wise to love her, nourish her and cherish her, and fool not to. Again, “He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it…”There are exceptions to the rule, of course. Some do engage in self harm. But that also makes the point. Those who engage in self harm are broken and in need healing and restoration, while those who are well nourish and cherish their own flesh to the glory of God.

 Husbands ought to love their wives, for they are one flesh with them. 

I have often exhorted Christian men to love their wives, to serve them and cherish them by presenting the rationale of the Apostle, saying, trust me, brother, you’ll be glad that you did! Do you want it good, brother? Then love your wife. Live, not for yourself, but for her. Lay aside your desires, and seek to fulfill hers. And just watch how that will come back to bless you.

Now, I understand that this reasoning can be twisted and misapplied by those who are self serving in the heart. I do not think that loving our wives so that we might blessed should be our primary motivation, friends. Our love for God and our sincere love for our wife should be the primary motives. Nevertheless, this is a motivation. In fact, the scriptures do often call us to obedience to God — obedience of all kinds — by reminding us of how blessed it is to obey him.  

Take for example Psalm 1:1:“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers” (Psalm 1:1–3, ESV). This passage is famous for  encouraging obedience to God by appealing to the blessing (or true happiness) that it brings. 

And in Matthew 10:39 we hear Christ himself say, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10:39, ESV). This is counterintuitive to the worldly man. The world assumes that to find life — abundant and fulfilling life — one ought to live life for themselves. But here Christ teaches that true life is found when we die to self and live for Christ instead. 

The exhortation that Paul delivers to Christian husbands might also seem counterintuitive at first. Do you want to be blessed in your marriage, brother? Then lay down your life for your bride. Live, not for yourself, but for her. Make her happiness your leading concern. Make meeting her needs your aim. And watch and see how blessed you will be! This is the reasoning of the Apostle. All Christians will blessed as they live, not to please themselves, but to please God and others. And this is especially true for Christian husbands given the reality of the one flesh union that exists in the marriage bond.

[APPLICATION: Brothers, you will need to  reflect on this point and ask, am I loving my wife and living for her good, or am I self-centered? Your impulse might be to say, well of course I love her! But I am asking you to reflect carefully and deeply on this point.

Are you daily and momentarily laying down your life for your wife? And please fight the impulse to think in terms of the heroic. How many men would happily say, “I would die for you, dear”, who at the same time grumble at the thought of helping with the dishes, or are negligent when it comes to spending quality time with their wives to be sure that her spiritual needs are met. Men, when the scriptures call us to lay down our lives for our wives it is not primarily about the heroic, but is in the common and daily affairs of life that this self-sacrificial living is to be manifest.

Live with your wives in an understanding way, brothers. 

Do not be harsh with them. 

Build them up with your words, and never tear them down. 

Be tenderhearted, compassionate and forgiving.

Remember that “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7, ESV).

The command: Husbands, love your wives. 

The manner: “…as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”

The rationale: Given the one flesh union that exists in the marriage bond,  “he who loves his wife loves himself.” 

*****

The Motive: Love Her, To Display Christ’s Love For The Church (vs. 32)

And lastly we will consider the primary motive: Husbands are to love their wives, for when they do they put on display Christ’s love for the church. Stated differently, when husbands love their wives as they ought, the marvelous love and grace that God has shown to us in Christ Jesus is put on display, which the design for marriage from the beginning.

Consider verse 32: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32, ESV).

Let us consider this verse carefully, for these are deep waters.  

The first question we must answer is, what does the “this” refer to at the beginning of verse 32?  “This mystery is profound”, the Apostle says. What mystery? 

Well, the “this” must refer back to the one flesh union that exists between husband and wife that was mentioned in the previous verse in the quote from Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” The Apostle calls this one flesh union a “mystery.”

Paul may have in mind that this union is a mystery because it is wrought by the Spirit of God. We cannot see this union, nor are fully able to comprehend how two individuals become one in the covenant of marriage.

 But please understand that when Paul uses the word “mystery” he often has in mind those truths concerning the Christ that were dimly revealed prior to the arrival of the Christ, tha have been revealed clearly now that the Christ has come. And I believe this is how Paul is using the word “mystery” here. He wants for us to see that from the beginning marriage was designed by God to function as a picture of the union that would exist between Christ and his redeemed bride, the church. This union between Christ and his church was revealed dimly in ages past in the covenant of marriage, but now that the Christ has come, and now that the New Covenant has been instituted in his blood, that which was once a mystery has been made clear. And that is why Paul says, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit,  “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

Paul calls the one flesh union enjoyed by husband and wife a “profound”, or very great, “mystery”. And he says that it  “refers to”, pertains to, or has reference to, “Christ and the church.” This means that the one flesh union experienced by husband and wife is, above and before all else, a picture of Christ’s relationship to the church.

[APPLICATION: Truly, this mystery is profound. And I would encourage you all to think about it. Marriage was designed by God to portray his love for his people in Christ Jesus. That is marvelous to consider! And it is also a sobering thought, for it means that marriage is only or primary about the happiness of the two who are wed, nor is it only for the good of the family or society. Instead, it is for the glory of God. Marriage is designed to magnify the marvelous grace and superabundant love of God for us in Christ Jesus. And if this is God’s design for marriage, then we had better be sure to fulfill God’s purpose. 

Husbands, I do hope that you feel the weightiness of the call of God that is upon you to love your wife as Christ loved the church. It is an awesome responsibility. And it is a great privilege with many blessings attached. May we be eager to fulfill this call being motivated above all else to give glory to God by putting on display Christ’s unconditional and never ceasing love for his bride, the church.

*****

Conclusion

Finally, Paul concludes his exhortation to husbands and wives with these simple words: “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33, ESV). May the Lord give us grace to daily die to self, and to live instead for the glory of God and the good of others. 

Old Testament Reading: Genesis 2:18-25

“Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.’” (Genesis 2:18–25, ESV)

New Testament Reading: Ephesians 5:22-24

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” (Ephesians 5:22–24, ESV)

*****

[Please excuse any and all typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church, but without the benefit of proofreading.] 

Introduction

As we come now into this section of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians wherein he addresses relationships that exist within the home and distinguishes between those who have been given authority and those who are to submit to authority, it is important that we not forget the general command that was issued in 5:21 regarding mutual submission.

There in 5:21 Paul commands all who are in Christ to “[submit] to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21, ESV). This submission of verse 21 is called “mutual submission” because it is to be offered by everyone and to everyone within the church of Christ without distinction or qualification. So there is a sense in which all Christians— officers and members, men and women, young and old, rich and poor — are to “[submit] to one another out of reverence for Christ.” 

As Paul says elsewhere, all Christians are to be “of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.” They are to do “nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than [themsleves].” They are to “look not only to [their] own interests, but also to the interests of others.” They must “have this mind among [themsleves], which is [theirs] in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:2–8, ESV). This is to be the disposition of every Christian, no mater their station in life. They are to be like their Savior who, although he would possess all authority in heaven and on earth, dressed himself in the garb of a servant and washed his disciples feet. This he did to give them an example of how to wield the authority that they would possess as his Apostles (see John 13:15). When Jesus washed the feet of his Apostles it was to illustrate what he had taught them on another occasion, saying, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:25–28, ESV).

I have returned to the principle of mutual submission found in Ephesians 5:21 before moving on to consider Paul’s commands to particular submission in 5:22 so that we might ever keep in mind the spirit of Christian authority. Those with authority in Christ are to serve. Those with authority — elders and deacons, husbands, parents and managers — are to lead, doing “nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility [counting] others more significant than [themsleves].” They are to “look not only to [their] own interests, but also to the interests of others”, for this was the way of Christ. 

While it is true that the principle of “mutual submission” cannot be forgotten, neither can we ignore the Paul’s commands regarding “particular submission”. It cannot be denied that in Ephesians 5:22-6:9 Paul does teach that wives, children and bondservants are to offer a particular kind of submission to those who have authority over them. Wives are to “submit to [their] own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22, ESV). Children are to “obey [their] parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1, ESV). Bondservants are to “obey [their] earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as [they] would Christ…” (Ephesians 6:5, ESV). 

The principle of mutual submission is popular in our culture today. The teaching that all are to submit to one another universally, without distinction or qualification is rather unoffensive. But as you know some within our culture will respond with distain to the idea that the some have authority over others in this world, and that honor is to be given to those who have authority. 

I do understand that the reasons for the resistance to authority are complex. In some cases, authority is resisted because those with authority have been abusive. Nevertheless, it is important for you to see, Christian, that God has called us all to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, and for some to offer up submission to those whom the Lord has placed over them for the good of the church, the family and for society at large. 

As I have just said, the portion of Ephesians that we are about to consider is controversial. And we should not be surprised that some have attempted to explain it away. One of the common approaches to the dismissal of Paul command for wives to submit to their husbands, for example, is to claim that Paul was addressing husband and wives according to the cultural norms of that day, but that times have changed. “We have made progress”, the progressives say, “and we no longer bound to follow these customs.” 

But consider three things in response to the progressive view of Ephesians 5:22ff.: 

One, Paul’s command for wives to submit to their husbands is not rooted in culture, but in creation and in Christ. Later in verse 31 we will hear Paul support his instructions for husbands by quoting from Genesis 2:24, which says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, ESV). And here in Paul’s instructions for wives he compares the relationship between husbands and wife to Christ’s relationship to the church. As we will see, the marriage bond was designed to function as a picture of Christs relationship to the church. We will discuss that more later. But for now see that Paul instructions for husbands and wives are rooted, not in the cultural trend of his day, but in creation and Christ. In other words, this is how thing are to be because this is the way that God designed them to be. 

Two, children are also command in this passage to obey their parents, “for this is right”, the Apostle says. I wonder if the progressive will be consistent in their interpretation and say that Paul’s commmand for a child to obey their parents was also rooted in the cultural norms of the day. And yes, I do understand that some are this radical — they believe that we are to progress beyond the so-called “traditional family model”. But I would assume that most progressives would agree with the Apostle when he says that it “is right” for a child to obey their parents. And why is it right? It is right because this is the way that God designed us. He made us to be raised in families where children learn to  obey a mother who offers up submission to a father who loving leads. 

Three, all of this teaching concerning submission to authority is summarized in the fifth of the ten commandments, which says, “‘Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” (Deuteronomy 5:16, ESV). I do love the teaching that our catechism provides on this commandment. It helps us to see that this commandments in not just about little children obeying mom and day (it is about that!), but it is about submission to authority in general. Baptist Catechism 69 asks, What is required in the fifth commandment? A: The fifth commandment requireth the preserving the honor, and performing the duties, belonging to everyone in their several places and relations, as superiors, inferiors, or equals.”

[APPLICATION: This idea, friends, that are “superiors, inferiors, [and] equals” as it pertains to authority and submission within the church, family, and society is being viscously assaulted today. And here is an instance where the church of Christ is able to be countercultural. We ought to show the world that is in fact exercise authority, but as a servant and in love, as Christ did. And we ought to show the world that is right and good to (with some rare exceptions) submit to authority wherever it exists, thought it be wielded by imperfect, and in so doing demonstrate our trust in and submission to God who Sovereign over all. Not all progress is good, friends. Progress is only true progress when it leads to greater obedience to God and the glory of his name. Let us be wise and discerning. May we have the courage to resist the current trends if they are contrary to God’s moral law.]

Paul does not address authority in the church here in this passage. Neither does he address political authority. Instead he address the authority and submission within the home. These are the three spheres in which we live our lives — the church, the home and society. These three spheres are interrelated, but they are to be distinguished. The Christian must learn to walk worthily and according to wisdom in all three. As I have said, here in Ephesians 5:22-6:9 the Apostle turns his attention to the home. And he begins with the most important relationship within the home — the relationship between husband and wife. It is not uncommon for married couples to allow their marriage relationship to take second place to the children when they become parents. But this is a terrible mistake. The relationship between husband and wife is the most vital relationship within the Christian family. The children will soon grow to adulthood and leave the home to establish their own. Husbands and wives will be left alone again. Their relationship had better be strong. And the children will be truly blessed to grow up under the guidance and protection of a loving marriage bond, and so Paul address husbands and wives first. 

Notice that the Apostle devotes three times as much space to his instructions for husbands. 9 verses are devoted to them in 5:25-33, whereas only 3 verses are devoted to the wives. I suppose we can debate as to why that is. One reason might be that what Paul had to say to husbands would have been far more controversial in his day than what he had to say to wives. But he starts with the wives, saying, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22, ESV). Paul’s instructions for Christian wives will be our focus for the remainder of the sermon today. 

*****

Exhortation: Wives, Submit To Your Own Husbands, As To The Lord

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord”, Paul says. And he says something similar in Colossians 3:18: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” And the Apostle Peter says it this way: “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct” (1 Peter 3:1–2, ESV). And lastly, in Ephesians 5:33 Paul will conclude his exhortation to wives and husbands by saying, “let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33, ESV). The teaching of scripture on this point is uniform and clear. Wives are called by God to submit to their husbands within the home. As I have said, this teaching would have been very much uncontroversial in the first century, but it is very controversial in our day.

Before moving on we should take just a moment to notice what Paul does not say. Notice that Paul does not say to that women are to submit to men, but rather that wives are to submit to their “own husbands”. This is a significant observation. Nowhere do the scriptures teach that women are to submit to men generally and in every sphere. Rather, they teach that men are to serve as officers within Christ’s church (reflecting male headship within the home), and that wives are to submit to their “own husbands”. 

Two, Paul does not command wives to obey their husbands as he will with children in relation to parents (6:1), and bondservants in relation to masters (6:5)). Instead Paul commands wives to “submit” to their husbands. And this is certainly more fitting for the relationship that exists between husband and wife, for they are companions. That is what she is called in Malachi 2:14 —  a “companion and… wife by covenant” (Malachi 2:14, ESV). For this reason she is not called to dutifully obey, but to willing submit to her husband. 

So what does mean for a wife to submit to her husband? It means that she recognized the God given authority of her husband, honors it, and is willing to follow his lead.  

I am afraid that many misconceptions abound regarding the submission of the wife. Some picture an authoritarian husband and a wife who obeys him dutifully, mindlessly and begrudgingly. This is not what the scriptures call us to in marriage. Some imaging that male headship and female submission must translate to particular duties within the home. Many of these preconceptions are cultural, I’m afraid. While it is true the wife is called to in Titus 2:5 to be diligent in her management of the home, she is not forebidden from also working outside the home, nor is the husband forbidden from doing the dishes and moping the floor. Headship and submission will look different, practically speaking, from household to household. There are so many different personality types, skill sets and circumstances  — husbands and wives will need to sort things out to know how to best go about doing life together, practically speaking. But this thing cannot change within the Christian home: the husband must lovingly lead, and the wife must see to it that she submits to her husband, showing respect to him, for this is right and good and fitting. 

Questions will undoubtably arise.

What is a wife to do if her husbands comes short of what Ephesians 5:25-33 calls him to, namely, loving, self-sacrificial  and Christ-like leadership. What then? I would immagine that must wives would happily submit to their husbands if their husbands would only lead as Christ has called them to. But what is a wife to do if her husband falls short of that? Well, Peter addresses this in general, saying, “wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct” (1 Peter 3:1–2, ESV). Of course a wife is to do other things as well. She is to pray for her husband. If he is a believer, she may certainly speak to him about obeying Christ in the marriage relationship. They together might even choose to seek help from within the church. But one thing a wife must not do is respond to her husband who is falling short by falling short herself! A Christian wife is to honor her husband even if he is acting dishonorably. She is to show him grace. Her conduct must always remain respectful and pure. And it may be that the Lord will use this to win the husband either to faith in Christ, or to a more worthy walk. Stated differently, Christian wives are to what Paul commanded all Christians to do back in 4:25 and following, where Paul said, “having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:25–32, ESV).

Another question might be, is there a limit to the wives submission? In other words, is there ever a time where she might go against her husbands wishes? And the answer is yes. A wife is to disobey her husband if the husband is leading her to disobey Christ. Elsewhere Paul says, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3, ESV). The authority that a husband possesses is not absolute. Far from it. The husband is under God’s authority, and under Christ’s. If the husband is leading the wife to disobey God and Christ, then she must say to him what Peter said to the high priest who forbid him from preaching Christ: “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29, ESV).

And is there ever a time when a wife is permitted to divorce her husband? In brief, the answer is yes, in the case of infidelity or abandonment. But these things must be handled with great care, lest we fall into great sin and make matters worse by our impatience and our unwillingness to bear up under times of difficulty for the glory of God and for our good. A wife would be foolish to enter into such a decision on her own, apart from the council of her pastors, and others who are godly and wise.

But in general, the command is that “Wives, submit to [their] own husbands, as to the Lord”. 

*****

Motive: As To The Lord

That last phrase in verse 22, “as to the Lord”, is very significant, for it introduces the motive for the wive’s submission. And pay careful attention to this: when a wife submits to her husband, she really is submits to Christ. That is what that little phrase means. Why is the Christian wife to honor, respect and submit to her husband? She is do so because Lord has commanded it — she is to do so out of submission to Christ!

Now, there may be other things motivating her as well. Her sincere love for her husband might also move her to submit. Her desire to have a blessed marriage might motivate her. The wife may also be concerned to see her children blessed as they observe her respectful and pure conduct. But supremly, her submission to her husband should be driven by her love for and submission to Christ!

Notice this, wives: The motivation for your submission is not found in your husband, but in Christ. The world says, I will honor him provided that he is honorable. The world says I will show him love and respect so long as he loves and respects me. And if he dishonors me, then I will dishonor him! And eye for an I, and a tooth for a tooth. But our marriages are not to function as a picture of God’s law, which says, do this and you shall live, but of the gospel and of the grace of God that has been shown to us in Christ Jesus. Wives, submit to your husbands, honor and respect them, not because they are deserving, but out of reverence for Christ. 

This truth will certainly help wives who are struggling in a difficult marriage where their husbands do not obey Christ. But this truth should also be an encouragement to wives who’s husbands are in the Lord. Even the best of Christian husbands will fall short of God’s calling to love their wives as Christ has loved the church. And wives, when they fall short, honor them, submit them, show them grace in Christ Jesus. If they are truly regenerate, your respectful and pure conduct will be used by the Lord to soften their hearts and to draw them back to a walk that is worthy. 

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

*****

Rationale: For The Husband Is The Head Of The Wife Even As Christ As The Head Of The Church, His Body, And Is Himself Its Savior

We have heard the exhortation. We have considered the motive. And in verse 23 we encounter the rational (or reason) for the wives submission: “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior” (Ephesians 5:23, ESV).

This verse is brief, but it is filled with meaning. 

First, the declaration: “the husband is the head of the wife”. In the context the metaphor of “head” must mean the husband is the one who has authority over the wife, the one who is responsible for her (and the family), and the one who must lead. We will turn our attention to husbands in the next section, and when we do husbands will be exhorted to lovingly fulfill their calling as head of their household. But for now simply notice that Pauls states it as a fact: “the husband is the head of the wife”.

And why does Paul state things so dogmatically? Doesn’t he know that sometimes the wives are more gifted leaders than the husbands? Shouldn’t he consider the differences in personality and temperament before assigning the role of “head” to the men only? 

He states things dogmatically in this way because it was Paul’s view (and it should also be ours) that God created men and women to function this way. Adam was made first, then Eve was taken from his side. She was made to correspond to him and to help him. And he was lovingly lead her as his head. 

That this was in fact Paul’s belief becomes clear in what see says next. After the declaration, “the husband is the head of the wife”, he provides and analogy, saying, “even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” So, as it pertains to headship and authority, the husband is to the wife, what Christ is to the church. This analogy can be pushed too far, of course. The husband is unlike Christ in many ways. Th husband is not the savior of the wife. The husband does not possess the same kind of authority that Christ has, namely, ultimate authority. But despite the obvious differences, the analogy is fitting. In the marriage covenant the husband is to the wife what Christ is to the church in the covenant of grace.

 Something profound is being established by here. A picture is beginning to emerge, I hope. We are beginning to see that marriage is not only for the happiness of those who are wed. Not only is it only for the good of the family and society. But there is something about the marriage relationship that corresponds to Christ’s relationship to the church. The marriage covenant is to image Christ’s covenantal relationship with his people. This picture is beginning to appear. Paul will elaborate upon it more in that section where he speaks to husbands, and he will eventually say it in a most direct way: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:32, ESV)

I sincerely believe that this is the most important thing for you to grasp about marriage: the marriage covenant is not only for the good of the couple who is wed. It not only good for the family and society. It is designed to put the love of Christ for the church, and the submission of the church to Christ on full display for the world to see. Brothers and sisters, we must be mindful of this in Christ Jesus. Husbands, if you failing to lovingly lead your wife, you are not ony harming your wife and your household, you are missing out on opportunity to put Christ’s love for the church on display. And wives, if you are failing to lovingly submit to your husbands, you are not ony harming your husband and your household, but you are missing out on an opportunity to put the churches reciprocal love for Christ on display. Even worse yet we may be doing damage to reputation of Christ by failing to submit and lead as Christ has called us to in the marriage bond.

Why are wives to submit to their husbands? They are to do so “as to the Lord” because “the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” 

*****

Extent: Now As The Church Submits To Christ, So Also Wives Should Submit In Everything To Their Husbands

Lastly, the Apostle delivers one last concluding exhortation while also describing the extent of the wives submission. Verse 24: “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” (Ephesians 5:24, ESV). 

What should the wive’s submission to her husband look like? What should it entail? She may look to the church’s relationship to Christ as an analogy. Once again, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:24, ESV). 

This is instructive. It continues to develop the analogy that was begun in verse 23. There the husband is compared to Christ in regard to headship, and here the wife is compared to the church in regard to submission. What is the maner an extent of the wive’s submission to her husband. Well, just as the church submits to Christ in all things, so too the wife is to submit to her husband in all things. 

*****

Conclusion

Brothers and sisters, this is a high calling. Christian wives are here in this passage called by the Lord to lay down their lives for the good of their husbands. Wives are here called to do “nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count [their husbands] more significant than [themsleves].” They are to “look not only to [their] own interests, but also to the interests of [their husbands].” They are called to “have this mind [in them], which is [theirs] in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:2–8, ESV). 

Wives, will you do this? Will you choose to honor your husbands always and in everything? Will you “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” Will you determine to “be kind to [your husband], tenderhearted, forgiving [him], as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31–32, ESV). Will you do it for him? Will you do it for the sake of the children? Will you do it for the good of your own soul? And above all, will you do it for the sake of Christ, so that God would get the glory?

As you can probably tell, a very similar sermon is in the works for Christian husbands. Though the roles of husbands and wives do differ — the husband is called to loving lead and the wife to submit to him — they share this in common: the Christian husband must also lay down his life for the good of his wife. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV), will be the leading exhortation. 

May the Lord help us in these things. May the love of God for us in Christ Jesus be put on display as we lay down our lives for one another, love one another and forgive one another. May we learn to be gracious and kind, just as God has been gracious and kind to us. And in all things, may God get the glory. 

*****

Concluding Prayer

Pastoral Prayer