Old Testament Reading: Genesis 2:18-25

“Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.’” (Genesis 2:18–25, ESV)

New Testament Reading: Ephesians 5:22-24

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” (Ephesians 5:22–24, ESV)

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[Please excuse any and all typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church, but without the benefit of proofreading.] 

Introduction

As we come now into this section of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians wherein he addresses relationships that exist within the home and distinguishes between those who have been given authority and those who are to submit to authority, it is important that we not forget the general command that was issued in 5:21 regarding mutual submission.

There in 5:21 Paul commands all who are in Christ to “[submit] to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21, ESV). This submission of verse 21 is called “mutual submission” because it is to be offered by everyone and to everyone within the church of Christ without distinction or qualification. So there is a sense in which all Christians— officers and members, men and women, young and old, rich and poor — are to “[submit] to one another out of reverence for Christ.” 

As Paul says elsewhere, all Christians are to be “of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.” They are to do “nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than [themsleves].” They are to “look not only to [their] own interests, but also to the interests of others.” They must “have this mind among [themsleves], which is [theirs] in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:2–8, ESV). This is to be the disposition of every Christian, no mater their station in life. They are to be like their Savior who, although he would possess all authority in heaven and on earth, dressed himself in the garb of a servant and washed his disciples feet. This he did to give them an example of how to wield the authority that they would possess as his Apostles (see John 13:15). When Jesus washed the feet of his Apostles it was to illustrate what he had taught them on another occasion, saying, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:25–28, ESV).

I have returned to the principle of mutual submission found in Ephesians 5:21 before moving on to consider Paul’s commands to particular submission in 5:22 so that we might ever keep in mind the spirit of Christian authority. Those with authority in Christ are to serve. Those with authority — elders and deacons, husbands, parents and managers — are to lead, doing “nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility [counting] others more significant than [themsleves].” They are to “look not only to [their] own interests, but also to the interests of others”, for this was the way of Christ. 

While it is true that the principle of “mutual submission” cannot be forgotten, neither can we ignore the Paul’s commands regarding “particular submission”. It cannot be denied that in Ephesians 5:22-6:9 Paul does teach that wives, children and bondservants are to offer a particular kind of submission to those who have authority over them. Wives are to “submit to [their] own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22, ESV). Children are to “obey [their] parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1, ESV). Bondservants are to “obey [their] earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as [they] would Christ…” (Ephesians 6:5, ESV). 

The principle of mutual submission is popular in our culture today. The teaching that all are to submit to one another universally, without distinction or qualification is rather unoffensive. But as you know some within our culture will respond with distain to the idea that the some have authority over others in this world, and that honor is to be given to those who have authority. 

I do understand that the reasons for the resistance to authority are complex. In some cases, authority is resisted because those with authority have been abusive. Nevertheless, it is important for you to see, Christian, that God has called us all to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, and for some to offer up submission to those whom the Lord has placed over them for the good of the church, the family and for society at large. 

As I have just said, the portion of Ephesians that we are about to consider is controversial. And we should not be surprised that some have attempted to explain it away. One of the common approaches to the dismissal of Paul command for wives to submit to their husbands, for example, is to claim that Paul was addressing husband and wives according to the cultural norms of that day, but that times have changed. “We have made progress”, the progressives say, “and we no longer bound to follow these customs.” 

But consider three things in response to the progressive view of Ephesians 5:22ff.: 

One, Paul’s command for wives to submit to their husbands is not rooted in culture, but in creation and in Christ. Later in verse 31 we will hear Paul support his instructions for husbands by quoting from Genesis 2:24, which says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, ESV). And here in Paul’s instructions for wives he compares the relationship between husbands and wife to Christ’s relationship to the church. As we will see, the marriage bond was designed to function as a picture of Christs relationship to the church. We will discuss that more later. But for now see that Paul instructions for husbands and wives are rooted, not in the cultural trend of his day, but in creation and Christ. In other words, this is how thing are to be because this is the way that God designed them to be. 

Two, children are also command in this passage to obey their parents, “for this is right”, the Apostle says. I wonder if the progressive will be consistent in their interpretation and say that Paul’s commmand for a child to obey their parents was also rooted in the cultural norms of the day. And yes, I do understand that some are this radical — they believe that we are to progress beyond the so-called “traditional family model”. But I would assume that most progressives would agree with the Apostle when he says that it “is right” for a child to obey their parents. And why is it right? It is right because this is the way that God designed us. He made us to be raised in families where children learn to  obey a mother who offers up submission to a father who loving leads. 

Three, all of this teaching concerning submission to authority is summarized in the fifth of the ten commandments, which says, “‘Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” (Deuteronomy 5:16, ESV). I do love the teaching that our catechism provides on this commandment. It helps us to see that this commandments in not just about little children obeying mom and day (it is about that!), but it is about submission to authority in general. Baptist Catechism 69 asks, What is required in the fifth commandment? A: The fifth commandment requireth the preserving the honor, and performing the duties, belonging to everyone in their several places and relations, as superiors, inferiors, or equals.”

[APPLICATION: This idea, friends, that are “superiors, inferiors, [and] equals” as it pertains to authority and submission within the church, family, and society is being viscously assaulted today. And here is an instance where the church of Christ is able to be countercultural. We ought to show the world that is in fact exercise authority, but as a servant and in love, as Christ did. And we ought to show the world that is right and good to (with some rare exceptions) submit to authority wherever it exists, thought it be wielded by imperfect, and in so doing demonstrate our trust in and submission to God who Sovereign over all. Not all progress is good, friends. Progress is only true progress when it leads to greater obedience to God and the glory of his name. Let us be wise and discerning. May we have the courage to resist the current trends if they are contrary to God’s moral law.]

Paul does not address authority in the church here in this passage. Neither does he address political authority. Instead he address the authority and submission within the home. These are the three spheres in which we live our lives — the church, the home and society. These three spheres are interrelated, but they are to be distinguished. The Christian must learn to walk worthily and according to wisdom in all three. As I have said, here in Ephesians 5:22-6:9 the Apostle turns his attention to the home. And he begins with the most important relationship within the home — the relationship between husband and wife. It is not uncommon for married couples to allow their marriage relationship to take second place to the children when they become parents. But this is a terrible mistake. The relationship between husband and wife is the most vital relationship within the Christian family. The children will soon grow to adulthood and leave the home to establish their own. Husbands and wives will be left alone again. Their relationship had better be strong. And the children will be truly blessed to grow up under the guidance and protection of a loving marriage bond, and so Paul address husbands and wives first. 

Notice that the Apostle devotes three times as much space to his instructions for husbands. 9 verses are devoted to them in 5:25-33, whereas only 3 verses are devoted to the wives. I suppose we can debate as to why that is. One reason might be that what Paul had to say to husbands would have been far more controversial in his day than what he had to say to wives. But he starts with the wives, saying, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22, ESV). Paul’s instructions for Christian wives will be our focus for the remainder of the sermon today. 

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Exhortation: Wives, Submit To Your Own Husbands, As To The Lord

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord”, Paul says. And he says something similar in Colossians 3:18: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” And the Apostle Peter says it this way: “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct” (1 Peter 3:1–2, ESV). And lastly, in Ephesians 5:33 Paul will conclude his exhortation to wives and husbands by saying, “let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33, ESV). The teaching of scripture on this point is uniform and clear. Wives are called by God to submit to their husbands within the home. As I have said, this teaching would have been very much uncontroversial in the first century, but it is very controversial in our day.

Before moving on we should take just a moment to notice what Paul does not say. Notice that Paul does not say to that women are to submit to men, but rather that wives are to submit to their “own husbands”. This is a significant observation. Nowhere do the scriptures teach that women are to submit to men generally and in every sphere. Rather, they teach that men are to serve as officers within Christ’s church (reflecting male headship within the home), and that wives are to submit to their “own husbands”. 

Two, Paul does not command wives to obey their husbands as he will with children in relation to parents (6:1), and bondservants in relation to masters (6:5)). Instead Paul commands wives to “submit” to their husbands. And this is certainly more fitting for the relationship that exists between husband and wife, for they are companions. That is what she is called in Malachi 2:14 —  a “companion and… wife by covenant” (Malachi 2:14, ESV). For this reason she is not called to dutifully obey, but to willing submit to her husband. 

So what does mean for a wife to submit to her husband? It means that she recognized the God given authority of her husband, honors it, and is willing to follow his lead.  

I am afraid that many misconceptions abound regarding the submission of the wife. Some picture an authoritarian husband and a wife who obeys him dutifully, mindlessly and begrudgingly. This is not what the scriptures call us to in marriage. Some imaging that male headship and female submission must translate to particular duties within the home. Many of these preconceptions are cultural, I’m afraid. While it is true the wife is called to in Titus 2:5 to be diligent in her management of the home, she is not forebidden from also working outside the home, nor is the husband forbidden from doing the dishes and moping the floor. Headship and submission will look different, practically speaking, from household to household. There are so many different personality types, skill sets and circumstances  — husbands and wives will need to sort things out to know how to best go about doing life together, practically speaking. But this thing cannot change within the Christian home: the husband must lovingly lead, and the wife must see to it that she submits to her husband, showing respect to him, for this is right and good and fitting. 

Questions will undoubtably arise.

What is a wife to do if her husbands comes short of what Ephesians 5:25-33 calls him to, namely, loving, self-sacrificial  and Christ-like leadership. What then? I would immagine that must wives would happily submit to their husbands if their husbands would only lead as Christ has called them to. But what is a wife to do if her husband falls short of that? Well, Peter addresses this in general, saying, “wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct” (1 Peter 3:1–2, ESV). Of course a wife is to do other things as well. She is to pray for her husband. If he is a believer, she may certainly speak to him about obeying Christ in the marriage relationship. They together might even choose to seek help from within the church. But one thing a wife must not do is respond to her husband who is falling short by falling short herself! A Christian wife is to honor her husband even if he is acting dishonorably. She is to show him grace. Her conduct must always remain respectful and pure. And it may be that the Lord will use this to win the husband either to faith in Christ, or to a more worthy walk. Stated differently, Christian wives are to what Paul commanded all Christians to do back in 4:25 and following, where Paul said, “having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:25–32, ESV).

Another question might be, is there a limit to the wives submission? In other words, is there ever a time where she might go against her husbands wishes? And the answer is yes. A wife is to disobey her husband if the husband is leading her to disobey Christ. Elsewhere Paul says, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3, ESV). The authority that a husband possesses is not absolute. Far from it. The husband is under God’s authority, and under Christ’s. If the husband is leading the wife to disobey God and Christ, then she must say to him what Peter said to the high priest who forbid him from preaching Christ: “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29, ESV).

And is there ever a time when a wife is permitted to divorce her husband? In brief, the answer is yes, in the case of infidelity or abandonment. But these things must be handled with great care, lest we fall into great sin and make matters worse by our impatience and our unwillingness to bear up under times of difficulty for the glory of God and for our good. A wife would be foolish to enter into such a decision on her own, apart from the council of her pastors, and others who are godly and wise.

But in general, the command is that “Wives, submit to [their] own husbands, as to the Lord”. 

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Motive: As To The Lord

That last phrase in verse 22, “as to the Lord”, is very significant, for it introduces the motive for the wive’s submission. And pay careful attention to this: when a wife submits to her husband, she really is submits to Christ. That is what that little phrase means. Why is the Christian wife to honor, respect and submit to her husband? She is do so because Lord has commanded it — she is to do so out of submission to Christ!

Now, there may be other things motivating her as well. Her sincere love for her husband might also move her to submit. Her desire to have a blessed marriage might motivate her. The wife may also be concerned to see her children blessed as they observe her respectful and pure conduct. But supremly, her submission to her husband should be driven by her love for and submission to Christ!

Notice this, wives: The motivation for your submission is not found in your husband, but in Christ. The world says, I will honor him provided that he is honorable. The world says I will show him love and respect so long as he loves and respects me. And if he dishonors me, then I will dishonor him! And eye for an I, and a tooth for a tooth. But our marriages are not to function as a picture of God’s law, which says, do this and you shall live, but of the gospel and of the grace of God that has been shown to us in Christ Jesus. Wives, submit to your husbands, honor and respect them, not because they are deserving, but out of reverence for Christ. 

This truth will certainly help wives who are struggling in a difficult marriage where their husbands do not obey Christ. But this truth should also be an encouragement to wives who’s husbands are in the Lord. Even the best of Christian husbands will fall short of God’s calling to love their wives as Christ has loved the church. And wives, when they fall short, honor them, submit them, show them grace in Christ Jesus. If they are truly regenerate, your respectful and pure conduct will be used by the Lord to soften their hearts and to draw them back to a walk that is worthy. 

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

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Rationale: For The Husband Is The Head Of The Wife Even As Christ As The Head Of The Church, His Body, And Is Himself Its Savior

We have heard the exhortation. We have considered the motive. And in verse 23 we encounter the rational (or reason) for the wives submission: “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior” (Ephesians 5:23, ESV).

This verse is brief, but it is filled with meaning. 

First, the declaration: “the husband is the head of the wife”. In the context the metaphor of “head” must mean the husband is the one who has authority over the wife, the one who is responsible for her (and the family), and the one who must lead. We will turn our attention to husbands in the next section, and when we do husbands will be exhorted to lovingly fulfill their calling as head of their household. But for now simply notice that Pauls states it as a fact: “the husband is the head of the wife”.

And why does Paul state things so dogmatically? Doesn’t he know that sometimes the wives are more gifted leaders than the husbands? Shouldn’t he consider the differences in personality and temperament before assigning the role of “head” to the men only? 

He states things dogmatically in this way because it was Paul’s view (and it should also be ours) that God created men and women to function this way. Adam was made first, then Eve was taken from his side. She was made to correspond to him and to help him. And he was lovingly lead her as his head. 

That this was in fact Paul’s belief becomes clear in what see says next. After the declaration, “the husband is the head of the wife”, he provides and analogy, saying, “even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” So, as it pertains to headship and authority, the husband is to the wife, what Christ is to the church. This analogy can be pushed too far, of course. The husband is unlike Christ in many ways. Th husband is not the savior of the wife. The husband does not possess the same kind of authority that Christ has, namely, ultimate authority. But despite the obvious differences, the analogy is fitting. In the marriage covenant the husband is to the wife what Christ is to the church in the covenant of grace.

 Something profound is being established by here. A picture is beginning to emerge, I hope. We are beginning to see that marriage is not only for the happiness of those who are wed. Not only is it only for the good of the family and society. But there is something about the marriage relationship that corresponds to Christ’s relationship to the church. The marriage covenant is to image Christ’s covenantal relationship with his people. This picture is beginning to appear. Paul will elaborate upon it more in that section where he speaks to husbands, and he will eventually say it in a most direct way: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:32, ESV)

I sincerely believe that this is the most important thing for you to grasp about marriage: the marriage covenant is not only for the good of the couple who is wed. It not only good for the family and society. It is designed to put the love of Christ for the church, and the submission of the church to Christ on full display for the world to see. Brothers and sisters, we must be mindful of this in Christ Jesus. Husbands, if you failing to lovingly lead your wife, you are not ony harming your wife and your household, you are missing out on opportunity to put Christ’s love for the church on display. And wives, if you are failing to lovingly submit to your husbands, you are not ony harming your husband and your household, but you are missing out on an opportunity to put the churches reciprocal love for Christ on display. Even worse yet we may be doing damage to reputation of Christ by failing to submit and lead as Christ has called us to in the marriage bond.

Why are wives to submit to their husbands? They are to do so “as to the Lord” because “the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” 

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Extent: Now As The Church Submits To Christ, So Also Wives Should Submit In Everything To Their Husbands

Lastly, the Apostle delivers one last concluding exhortation while also describing the extent of the wives submission. Verse 24: “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” (Ephesians 5:24, ESV). 

What should the wive’s submission to her husband look like? What should it entail? She may look to the church’s relationship to Christ as an analogy. Once again, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:24, ESV). 

This is instructive. It continues to develop the analogy that was begun in verse 23. There the husband is compared to Christ in regard to headship, and here the wife is compared to the church in regard to submission. What is the maner an extent of the wive’s submission to her husband. Well, just as the church submits to Christ in all things, so too the wife is to submit to her husband in all things. 

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Conclusion

Brothers and sisters, this is a high calling. Christian wives are here in this passage called by the Lord to lay down their lives for the good of their husbands. Wives are here called to do “nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count [their husbands] more significant than [themsleves].” They are to “look not only to [their] own interests, but also to the interests of [their husbands].” They are called to “have this mind [in them], which is [theirs] in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:2–8, ESV). 

Wives, will you do this? Will you choose to honor your husbands always and in everything? Will you “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” Will you determine to “be kind to [your husband], tenderhearted, forgiving [him], as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31–32, ESV). Will you do it for him? Will you do it for the sake of the children? Will you do it for the good of your own soul? And above all, will you do it for the sake of Christ, so that God would get the glory?

As you can probably tell, a very similar sermon is in the works for Christian husbands. Though the roles of husbands and wives do differ — the husband is called to loving lead and the wife to submit to him — they share this in common: the Christian husband must also lay down his life for the good of his wife. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV), will be the leading exhortation. 

May the Lord help us in these things. May the love of God for us in Christ Jesus be put on display as we lay down our lives for one another, love one another and forgive one another. May we learn to be gracious and kind, just as God has been gracious and kind to us. And in all things, may God get the glory. 

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Concluding Prayer

Pastoral Prayer

Old Testament Reading: Proverbs 2

“My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you, delivering you from the way of evil, from men of perverted speech, who forsake the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness, who rejoice in doing evil and delight in the perverseness of evil, men whose paths are crooked, and who are devious in their ways. So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words, who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God; for her house sinks down to death, and her paths to the departed; none who go to her come back, nor do they regain the paths of life. So you will walk in the way of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous. For the upright will inhabit the land, and those with integrity will remain in it, but the wicked will be cut off from the land, and the treacherous will be rooted out of it.” (Proverbs 2, ESV)

New Testament Reading: Ephesians 5:15-21

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:15–21, ESV)

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[Please excuse any and all typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church, but without the benefit of proofreading.] 

Introduction

Before we dive into the text of Ephesian 5:15-21 I think it would be beneficial to note its place in this epistle. This that passage that we are about to consider brings Paul’s exhortation to the church in general to “walk worthy” to a conclusion. From 4:1  to 5:21 Paul has the church as a whole in mind when as he exhorts them to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which they had been called. 

We have encountered the metaphor of walking seven times now in Ephesians.

In 2:1 we read, “And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—” (Ephesians 2:1–2, ESV)

In 2:10 the Apostle said, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10, ESV)

And then in 4:1 we hear Paul say, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,” (Ephesians 4:1, ESV)

In 4:17 we read, “Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.” (Ephesians 4:17, ESV)

5:2: “And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:2, ESV)

5:8: “for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light” (Ephesians 5:8, ESV)

And lastly, 5:15: “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,” (Ephesians 5:15, ESV)

Clearly Paul has been concerned to open the Christian’s mind to this reality: the change that has been wrought within us by the word of God and by the power of the Spirit is to produce a new walk — a new way of life that fits our new creation self. And as I have said, up to this point the Paul has had the church as whole in view as he has urged us to walk worthy in Christ Jesus. 

But let’s look forward just a bit. And as we do we will notice that Paul will soon turn his attention to the home and to the various relationships that exist within it. In 5:22-33 he will address the relationship between husband and wife. In 6:1-4 he will discuss the relationship between parents and children. And in 6:5-9 he will address the relationship between bondservants and masters. It is not until 6:10 that he turns his attention once again to the Christian in general to offer final exhortations before concluding his letter. 

So please understand that here in 5:15-21 we have the conclusion to the section that began in 4:1 wherein Paul exhorts Christians in general, and the church as a whole — male and female, young and old, rich and poor —  to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which they have been called. Let us pay careful attention to what he says. 

In brief, Paul commands two things as he concludes this section of his epistle. One, he commands the Christian to walk in wisdom. And two, he commands the Christian to be filled with the Holy Spirit. What does he mean? 

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Walk In Wisdom

First of all, let us consider the command to walk in wisdom. 

In verse 15 we read, “Look carefully then how you walk…” 

As I said before, this is the seventh and last appearance of the word “walk” in Paul’s letter. And here we are warned by the Apostle to walk carefully in the world. All who are living walk, but not all walk carefully. 

I can remember when my children were younger some of them — and I can not remember which ones (David I know for sure) — had a bad habit of walking but not looking where they were going. I remember saying “put your eyes in front of you” many times in those years. I also remember a season where David constantly had a large knot on his forehead from running into things. Door knobs were a particular threat to him when he was at a certain hight. He was walking, but his walk was not careful. Paul says that we are to walk carefully in this world. 

But what does a careful walk look like? And conversely, what does a reckless walk look like? I think you would agree that the answer to that question will differ from person to person depending on their values. If a person values physical pleasure above all else, for example, then a walk that produces pleasure will be deemed careful, whereas a walk that produces pain or discomfort will be deemed reckless. If a person loves money above all else, then decisions will be deemed either careful or reckless depending upon the financial consequences. If a person is supremely concerned about health and safely, then the question of whether a walk is careful or reckless will be judged according to the criteria of heath and safety.  

So when Paul says, “Look carefully then how you walk…”, what does he have in mind? 

Well, he has already described a worthy walk in 4:1-5:14. He certainly has all of that in mind. And he will continue to describe a worthy walk in the rest of this letter as he turns his attention to husbands and wives, parents and children, bondservants and masters. When Paul says,  “Look carefully then how you walk…”, he is urging us to contemplate what he said in this letter, to fix our eyes upon this standard, and to obey it. 

But here Paul says more: he tells us that we are to walk as people who are wise. “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise” (Ephesians 5:15, ESV). Wisdom is the art of godly living. To be wise is to live life according to truth. God has reveled his truth in nature, but even more clearly in his word. The wise person lives his or her life according to God’s word. There wise person obeys God’s commandments. To sin against God — to violate his law — is never wise, but is always foolish. But more than this, the one who is wise has learned to choose, not only the right path, but the best path in the realm of righteousness. And how is wisdom like this attained? It begins with the fear of the Lord, as Provers 9:10 so famously says: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight” (Proverbs 9:10, ESV). It is impossible to walk in wisdom without first fearing God. And we grow in wisdom as our knowledge of him increases.  Wisdom comes from knowing God and his word. Wisdom increases as we learn over time and with much practice to obey God’s word and to choose the best paths as we sojourn in this world. 

Note this: Here Paul is not only calling the Christian to walk obediently — that is to say, in obedience to God’s commandments in thought, word and deed. More than this, he is calling the Christians to pursue wisdom. Obeying God’s law and walking according to wisdom are not the same thing. They are related, of course. But they are not the same. Disobeying God law is never wise — it is always foolish. But wisdom is something more. Wisdom, as I have already said, is the art of living Godly. Wisdom not only chooses the right path, but the best paths in the realm of righteousness.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise…” And then the Apostle says, “making the best use of the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15–16, ESV).

This is an interesting and very important phrase. The wise person knows that “the days are evil.” What does this mean? It means two things, I think. One, “the days are evil” in that they are, in this present aged, filled with wickedness and the temptation to do that which is wicked in the sight of God. The fool is oblivious to this reality. But the Christian who is wise knows that their “adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8, ESV), and they are watchful — careful. Two, the one who is wise knows “the days are evil” in the sense that they are fleeting, and so they make “the best use of the time” as Paul says in the first half of this verse. Notice we are to make the best use of the time. We are spend the time that we have on earth in the best possible way. We are to invest in the best things — eternal and lasting things — knowing that they “are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes”, as James says. The days of are life in this present age are evil. They are filled with temptation. They are marked by trials and tribulations. And they are fleeting. This is not to say that our days are nor also good days. Indeed, we enjoy good things in this life — very good things, by the grace of God. But in this sense “the days are evil”, and so we are to walk in wisdom, “making the best use of the time”.

And then the Apostle again describes a wise walk, saying, “Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is” (Ephesians 5:17, ESV). We speak of the will of God in two ways. His hidden or secret will is his sovereign and eternal decree. It will surely come to pass. We will know what it is only after it happens. There are some things that the Lord has revealed to us concerning the future, but most everything concerning the future is a mystery to us. Clearly, Paul is not refering to this secret and hidden will when he says, understand what the will of the Lord is, for who can possible understand that will. Instead, the Apostle is commanding us to know God’s revealed will. 

And what is God’s revealed will? Read the scriptures to find out! Know God’s law. Read the New Testament and pay special attention to the commands. For example, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 commands us to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” And 1 Thesalonians 4:3 says,  “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality…” So you see that God’s revealed will is not mysterious. It can be known. And the Christian must know it. The Christian should say to God, along with the Psalmest, “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:11, ESV). And the Christian is to forever grow in the art of godly living, learning to apply the revealed truths of holy scripture to the daily circumstances that we face. “Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is”, the Apostle says. 

[APPLICATION: So friends, I ask you, are you walking carefully? Are your eyes in front of you, as it were, fixed upon Christ and his word? Are you making the best use of time, knowing that the days are evil? Are you pursuing wisdom, seeking to grow ever more in your knowledge of the will of God for you in Christ Jesus? 

This is what it means to walk in a manner that is worthy. Not only are we to put off the old self and the old sinful thoughts, words and deeds. Not only are we to put on the new self created anew in Christ Jesus. We are also to pursue wisdom. We must seek to know the will of the Lord, and learn to obey all that Christ has commanded.

Brothers and sisters, I wonder if we are not sometimes too easily pleased with our progress in sanctification. I wonder if we are not too easily contented with a sanctification that takes us merely to a place of socialy acceptable behavior. Do you know what I mean by that? I am speaking here of a sanctification that knocks the ruff edges off and puts forward a good face, but comes short of true holiness is thought, word and deed — a sanctification that comes short of true wisdom. May we forever chase after a deeper understanding of God’s will for us so that we might walk carefully  in this world, “not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time.”]

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Be Filled With The Spirit

The second command uttered by the Apostle in this text is found in verse 18, which says, “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit…” (Ephesians 5:18, ESV). In fact, there are two commands here in verse 18. One is negatively stated: “do not get drunk with wine”. The other is positively stated: “be filled with the Spirit…” But these are to be taken together as one, the meaning being this: Instead of giving yourself over to fleshly passions and being driven by earthly things (drinking to the point of drunkenness being an example of such behavior), be driven and controlled by the Holy Spirit of God so that you carefully and soberly do God’s will.

First, Paul commands us to be not drunk with wine. Notice that he does not say do not drink wine, but rather, “do not get drunk with wine”. Whether or not you drink wine, or some other alcoholic beverage, is your choice to make. The choice falls into the realm of wisdom. Wisdom might dictate that you choose to abstain from all alcohol, but never should you judge your brother or sister who chooses to partake, and vice versa.

Second, Paul commands us to “be filled with the Spirit”. In the place of being filled with wine to the point of drunkenness, leading to other sins, no doubt, the Christian is to be filled with the Spirit of God, leading to a worthy walk. 

But what is this filling that Paul speaks of? He has already taught that the Christian is filled with the Spirit earlier in his epistle. The Christian is sealed with the Spirit (1:13, 4:30). The Christian has access to the Father in the Spirit (2:18). The church collectively is being built into a temple — a dwelling place for God by the Spirit. Paul’s prayer was that the Christian would be “strengthened with power through [God’s] Spirit in [their] inner being…” (Ephesians 3:16, ESV). And in 4:1 the exhortation was that we would be “eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3, ESV). Everything stated in Ephesians up to this point would indicate that the believer is in the Spirit and the Spirit in the believer from the time of conversion. Paul is not here commanding the Christian to receive the Spirit or to have some experience of the Spirit, but to walk in the Spirit — to be Spirit filled and Spirit controlled from day to day. 

What Paul says here in Ephesians is similar to what he says in Romans 8:4 and following. There he describes Christians as those “who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” He continues, saying, “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him” (Romans 8:4–9, ESV). 

To belong to Christ is to “have the Spirit”. All who have faith in Christ are “in the Spirit”. But here in Romans, and also Ephesians, the Apostle is commanding the Christian to walk, not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit — to be not drunk with wine, but to be filled in the Spirit.  

How do we do this? 

The context make it clear. We walk in the Spirit and are filled with the Spirit when we give the Spirit control — when we live, not for the things of this world, but the things of God — when we seek to please the Lord and not ourselves — when we walk worthily.

You will notice that the Apostle goes on to describe what a Spirit filled existences looks like. Look again at 5:18: “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:18–21, ESV)

The words “addressing”, “singing”, “giving thanks”, and “submitting” describe the means by which the Christian demonstrates that he our she is indeed filled with the Spirit. Stated in the form of a question, what will the Christian who is walking in the Spirit do? He or she will address other believers with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, sing and make melody to the Lord with their heart, give thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and submit to other believers out of reverence for Christ.

Please note this: to be filled with the Spirit involves walking with Christ as a member of the church. It involves corporate worship. It involves true fellowship. The one who is Spirit filled will sing in the Christian congregation, will give thanks to God in the church, and will submit to others in Christ’s name. 

All of this makes perfect sense when we remember what the Apostle has already said concerning the church. The church, remember, is the temple of the Holy Spirit. To the church in Ephesus Paul said, “In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit” (Ephesians 2:22, ESV). To be filled with the Spirit is to obey the Spirit, and not the flesh. And the one who is filled with the Spirit will show that they are by fulfilling their function as stones in God’s spiritual temple. They will assemble to sing praises to God. They will assemble to give thanks. They will assemble to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. The one who says that they are Spirit filled who refuses to join themselves to the church and to worship God in the Christian congregation is a liar and the truth is not in them.

Let us briefly consider the three things that Paul mentions here in verses 19 – 21 that accompany a Spirit filled existence: singing, giving thanks, and submitting. 

First of all, the one who is Spirit filled will sing. 

Specifically they will sing to God. They will sing and make “melody to the Lord with [their] heart” (Ephesians 5:19, ESV). Being Spirit filled will show itself in worship. The people of God are a singing people. The angels in heaven sing. What a marvelous thing singing is. We humans have the ability to put our words into the form of song. When we pray to God we express ourselves in ordinary speech. But so great is our love and appreciation for God that we are moved to express our prayers in the form of song. To speak the mind must be engaged. To sing one must use the mind and the heart. Perhaps you have noticed that when your heart is hard towards God it is difficult — maybe impossible — to sing. Those who are walking in the Spirit will sing and make “melody to the Lord with [their] heart”.

And this they will do, not only as individuals, but within the Christian congregation. Notice that Paul describes them as singing, not only to God, but to one another. They are said to “[address] one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs…” I wonder if you think about worship in this way. When we sing as a congregation our praise is certainly directed towards God, and not man. But as we sing we are in fact addressing one another. We are singing to God things that are true. And when we sing, all who are in the congregation hear those words and are encouraged by them. 

And notice that the Christian congregation is to sing, not just any song, but “psalms and hymns and spiritual songs…” Some interpret these terms “psalms and hymns and spiritual songs” to mean that the church is only permitted to sing inspired scripture — that is, songs found within the pages of Holy Scripture. Our view is that we should sing scripture — the Psalms and other songs that are found within it’s pages — but that the church is also permitted to sing other songs — new songs — provided that they are true to scripture, and reflect the themes, spirit, and reverence of the songs contained within. 

[APPLICATION: To be filled with the Spirit means that we will sing praises to God in the midst of the Christian congregation. I would like to slow down for just a moment to reflect, therefore, upon the importance of this element of our worship. When we gather together Lord’s Day by Lord’s Day we read scripture, we pray, we observe the sacrament, and we sing. How important our singing is! 

The songs that we sing must either be scripture, or true to scripture.

The songs that we sing should reflecting the range of human emotion found within the songs of scripture. 

Our singing must be congregational. You have noticed, no doubt, how simple our music is here at Emmaus. That is deliberate. The job of the worship leader is simply to conduct. And the church is the choir. We have grown in our convictions over the years that any style of music that draws attention to those on stage and encourages observation rather than participation from the members is out of step with a biblical notion of singing. When the church assembles each member is to participate, “addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with [their] heart.” 

And think of what happens when we do this!

One, God is glorified as we collectively give thanks to him in our singin.

Two, our unity with one another is communicated and strengthened. Together we sing the same words to the same God through the same Mediator and by the same Spirit.  When we sing together, we praise the Father with one voice. By the way, I believe it is good and right for a congregation to work on its singing. We are a church, and as the church, we are also a choir. We should learn to sing well. Our singing should be strong and heartfelt. We should learn to harmonize. Think of what of what harmonizing communicates. No only is beautiful and fitting for the worship of God, it also reflects the unity in diversity that exists within Christ’s church.

Three, when we sing together those whose faith is weak will be strengthened by those who are strong. Those who are discouraged will be carried along and uplifted by the voice of those who are in that moment encouraged in the Lord.]

Those who are filled in the Spirit will sing. The will give praise with their lips to the Triune God within the Christian congregation. Secondly, they will give thanks. All of our praying and singing is to be permitted with thanksgiving. But it is at the Lord’s table that we give thanks to the Lord in the Christian congregation as we celebrate the eucharist. Remember how, “Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, ‘Take, eat; this is my body.’ And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins” (Matthew 26:26–28, ESV). When we come to the Table, we are to give thanks to God. 

And thirdly, those who are Spirit filled will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. And with these word’s Paul concludes his general exhortation to the church to walk in a manner that is worthy. Verse 21: “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21, ESV).

This is huge. In Christ, all are to submit to one another. Male and female, old and young, rich and pour, officer and member are here commanded to submit to one another in Christ Jesus. 

I assume that you are familiar with the section of Paul’s epistle that is next wherein he gives specific instructions to husbands and wives, parents and children, bondservants and masters concerning their role within the home. It is well known that there Paul commands wives to submit to their husbands, children to their parents, and bondservants to their masters. I draw your attention to the teaching of the Apostle regarding authority and submission prematurely in order to make this very important observation: before the Apostle commands wives, children and bondservants to honor those who are over them, he commands all Christians to “[submit] to one another out of reverence for Christ”. 

Tell me, how can it be that Christian wives are in Ephesians 5:22 (the next verse) commanded to submit to their husbands when in 5:21 Paul commanded all Christians to submit to one another? Did the Apostle contradict himself? For how can there possibly be this universal, mutual submission of 5:21 and at the same time a particular kind of submission expected from some?

I pray that you would see that these two things are not at all contradictory. It is true that the wife is called by God to submit to her husband’s authority within the home. But at the same time it also true that the husband, in the another sense, is to submit to his wife in Christ Jesus. She does not have authority over him in the home, but she is a sister in Christ, and an heir with [him] of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7). And because of this the husband is to live with her in an understanding way, he is to honor and respect her — yes, he is even to submit to her in Christ Jesus, putting her interests, needs and desires before his own. 

The point is this: before Paul commands wives, children and bondservants to submit to those who have authority over them in the home, he commands all Christians to submit to one another in Christ. And this they will do if they are walking in the Spirit. The Spirit filled Christian will be like Christ and will “look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4–8, ESV).

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Conclusion

So friends, as we seek to walk worthy, let us not only put off the old sinful self, and put on the new self created in Christ Jesus. Let us also pursue wisdom, and be filled with Spirit as we walk in the world together. May we fulfill God’s calling to function as his holy temple as we, Lord’s Day by Lord’s Day, “[address] one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with [our hearts], giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:19–21, ESV)