Old Testament Reading: Leviticus 19:9–18

“When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap your field right up to its edge, neither shall you gather the gleanings after your harvest. And you shall not strip your vineyard bare, neither shall you gather the fallen grapes of your vineyard. You shall leave them for the poor and for the sojourner: I am the LORD your God. You shall not steal; you shall not deal falsely; you shall not lie to one another. You shall not swear by my name falsely, and so profane the name of your God: I am the LORD. You shall not oppress your neighbor or rob him. The wages of a hired worker shall not remain with you all night until the morning. You shall not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block before the blind, but you shall fear your God: I am the LORD. You shall do no injustice in court. You shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great, but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbor. You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the LORD. You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.” (Leviticus 19:9–18, ESV)

New Testament Reading: Ephesians 5:25-33

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:25–33, ESV)

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[Please excuse any and all typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church, but without the benefit of proofreading.] 

Introduction

In the previous passage the Apostle began to encourage a worthy walk within the Christian home. He started by commanding wives to submit to their own husbands, as to the Lord. And while the sermon last week was directed mainly towards wives, there was something for all of us to learn about submission and authority in general, for we are all called to submit to someone, and most have authority over someone. In our submission, we are to submit as to the Lord. And in our authority, we ae lead with the love of Christ.

Here in the passage that is before us today the Apostle turns his attention to Christian husbands and says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV). 

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The Command: Husbands, Love Your Wives (v. 25)

You will notice that the Apostle devotes three times as much space to his instructions for husbands when compared to his instructions for wives. But you will also notice that the command that he gives to husbands is really quite simple. The central command is restated three times in this passage. Verse 25: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” Verse 28: “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.” And verse 33: “However let each one of you love his wife as himself.” Clearly the Apostle’s central concern is to communicate that husbands are to love their wives. Everything else that he says in this passages communicates the manner, rationale and motive for the husband to fulfill the command to love his wife. 

It should be recognized that Paul does not command the husband to rule or to merely lead his wife, but to love her. It would not have been surprising for Paul to say, husbands lead you wives, given what he said about the relationship between the wife and husband in the previous passage. Consider verses 22-24 again: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Given this teaching, it would not have been unreasonable for Paul to say, husbands lead your wives. But he does not. Instead, three times he tells husbands to love their wives. This is how they are to lead, by loving.

When Paul wrote to the Colossians and addressed the relationship between husbands and wives he was  more  direct. To them he said, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:18–19, ESV). You will notice that Paul says essentially the same thing to the Ephesians, but here the Apostle elaborates. In Ephesians Paul also addresses the manner, the rationale and the motive for the husbands love. 

In our day it is what Paul says to wives concerning submission that is considered controversial. But in the first century Greco-Roman context Paul’s command for husbands to love their wives would have been considered controversial. It was not at all uncommon for husbands to maintain a rather cold and utilitarian kind of relationship with their wives. Wives were to bear children. They were to raise the children and manage the home. Often times husbands were content if they could simply trust their wives to fulfill these duties. Tenderness and sense of companionship was often lacking. But Paul commands Christian men to go beyond this. They are not to rule or merely lead, but to love their wives. And this view springs quite naturally from the biblical view of marriage. In marriage a husband and wife enter into a one flesh union. In marriage a husband and wife are companions by virtue of their covenant bond. It will not do, therefore, for a husband to rule his wife or to merely lead her. Instead, the Christian husband is to love his wife. This is how he is to lead her — this is how he is to fulfill his role as head over her — he is to love her. 

Now love is terribly misunderstood in our day. Many assume that love is an emotion that is felt. Many equate it with romance and attraction. And while love does sometimes involve these things, it is something else at its core. 

To love is to “count others more significant than [yourself].” To love is to “look not only to [your] own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3–4, ESV). To love is to take the posture of a servant. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7, ESV). And this is how husbands are to treat their wives. They are to loving lead them. 

Stated differently, husbands are to treat their wives in the same way that all Christians have been called to treat one another. Consider again Ephesians 4:25. I’ve adapted the text to make it specific to the marriage bond. Husbands are to “put away falsehood… [and] speak the truth with [their wife], for [they] are members one of another. [If they are] angry [never are they to] sin; [they should] not let the sun go down on [their] anger…” Verse 29: They are to “let no corrupting talk come out of [their] mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to their [wife].” They must not “grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom [they] were sealed for the day of redemption.” They must “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from [them], along with all malice.” The husbands is to be “be kind to [his wife], tenderhearted, forgiving [her], as God in Christ forgave [them]” (Ephesians 4:25–32, ESV). Christian husbands are to relate to their wives in a Christianly way. They are not held to a lower standard when it comes to their relationship with their wife, but a  higher one! Not only are they united  to their wives in  Christ (assuming they are also believers), they are also bound together in one flesh union, as we will see. The standard is not lower, by higher, therefore. If all Christians are called to relate to one another as described in Ephesians 4:25ff., how much more are they to relate to their wives in this wife! 

So Christian husbands are not called to rule over their wives or to merely lead them. They are called to something higher!  They are to lead in love, “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church…” (Ephesians 5:23, ESV).

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The Manner: Love Her, As Christ Loved The Church (vs. 25-27)

In the second half of verse 25 the Apostle begins to describe the manner in which the husband is to love his wife. What should his love look like? That is the question. And Paul answers saying, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” 

The Christian husband is to lead his wife, for he is the head of his wife. He has authority over her. He is responsible for her, therefore. And how is he to lead? He is to lead by loving her. And what is this love to look like? What is it to involve? Once more, the Christian husband is to love his wife “as Christ loved the church.” If the Christian husband wishes to know how to love his wife he must look to Christ and carefully consider Christ’s love for the church. There is his model! Just as Christ is the head of the Church, so too the husband is head of his wife. And the husband is to love his wife “just as Christ loved the church.” 

So how did Christ love the church? Well, many things could be said about that. But Paul’s little phrase, “and gave himself up for her” sums it up nicely. Christ loved the church — that is to say, all who will believe upon him to the salvation of their souls — by giving himself up for her. And this is how the Christian husband is to relate to his wife. He is to mimic Christ by giving himself up for his bride. 

Christ lived for the good of his bride — that is to say, the church. He suffered for her. He died for her. He saw to it that her every spiritual need was provided for. In short, he gave himself up for her. And the Apostle elaborates on what Christ has done for his bride saying that he gave himself up for her “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:26–27, ESV).

There are two metaphors being utilized here in verses 26 and 27. 

First of all, Paul uses the language of sacrifice and purification to describe what Christ has done for the church. He gave himself up for her as a sacrifice. That is the meaning. 

By the way, the doctrine of limited atonement is taught here. Question: For whom did Christ die? Answer: he died as a sacrifice for his bride, that is to say, the church. He died for the elect of God in every age. And this corresponds to John 10:15 where Jesus is heard saying, “I lay down my life for the sheep” (John 10:15, ESV). But I digress. 

The question that is before us today is, how did Christ love the church? And the answer is that he gave himself up for her as a sacrifice so that he might sanctify her — that is to say, set her apart and make her holy — “having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word”. Again, this is the language of sacrifice and purification. Christ shed his blood so that his people might be cleansed. And they receive this cleansing through the hearing of the word of God, the gospel of truth, as they believe upon his name, all of this being symbolized in the waters of baptism. And this is what the Apostle has in mind when he says, “having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…” Christ has purified his people by giving himself up for them.

Secondly, Paul uses the language of a wedding when he says, “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish…” The church is the bride of Christ. The church — that is to say, all who believe upon Christ in every time and place — has been purified and cleansed by Christ in preparation for her wedding day. That is what Paul is here refering to. And when will this wedding be? Answer: When Christ returns!

Do not forget what that angel said to John near to the end of the book of Revelation: “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb” (Revelation 19:9, ESV).

And remember how Paul spoke to the corinthians saying, “For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ” (2 Corinthians 11:2, ESV). Clearly, this was Paul’s view. The church is the betrothed bride of Christ. She is betrothed to him and will be wed to him, spiritually speaking, at the consumption of all things. Then we feast at the the wedding supper of the Lamb. 

Now clearly, the husband is not Christ. He is not the Savior of his wife. He did not, nor can he, die for her to atone for her sins. He cannot sanctify her in the way that Christ can. But the husband is to memic Christ in these things. The husband is to love his as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her. 

Christ’s love for the church is unconditional, friends. He loved us and gave his life for us, not because we were deserving, but by his grace alone. He loved us, not because he found us to be lovely, but to make us lovely. We were his enemies, remember, were dead in our sins and by nature children wrath, “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:4–7, ESV). Christ’s love for the church is unconditional. And so is the husbands love for his wife to be. And yet so often our love is conditioned upon the performance of others. Though we might never say it with our lips, we say it in our hearts: I’ll love you provided that you are lovely. But this is what the law says, and not the gospel. In the law God says, do this and you shall live. And none, except one, can keep it. And so none, except one, will find life in the law. But the gospel says, live, for this is what Christ has done for you unconditionally! Husbands, will you love your wives unconditionally as Christ has loved the church.   

Christ’s love for the church is sacrificial. He gave himself up for her. And I will not repeat what I have already said, but will simply remind you to think beyond the heroic, and to bring this principle into the day to day realities of marriage. When you rise from bed in the morning do not first think, what do I want out of today? But what does God want from me, and what would please my wife and meet her needs? Brothers, if this sounds like miserable to you, then you have not yet learned the way of Christ the Servant.    

Christ’s love for the church is a sanctifying love. Again, the husband is not Christ. Neither is the husband the Holy Spirit. Never should he try to be. Sanctification is God’s work to do, not ours. But the husband is to be used by the Lord to sanctify his wife, just as the wife will surely be used by the Lord to sanctify her husband. Husband, encourage your wife in the faith. Pray for her. Minister the word of God to her. Never be harsh with her, which is what Paul specifically warns against in Colossians, saying, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:18–19, ESV). And it is what Peter had in mind when he said, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7, ESV). Never should the husband be harsh. And neither should he nag or nitpick. In fact,  a husband would be wise to affirm his wife often, to build her up with his words, and to be very careful when offering words of criticisms. “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4, ESV)

The command: Husbands, love your wives. 

And in what manner, you ask? “…as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”

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The Rationale: Love Her, For You Are One Flesh With Her (vs. 28-31)

Now we turn our attention to verses 28-31 where the Apostle reasons with husbands to love their wives on the basis of their one flesh union with them. The argument is this: brother, love your wife, for you are one flesh with her! Given that you are one with her in the marriage bond, loving your wife means that you love yourself.

Listen again to verses 28-31: “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:28–31, ESV)

Notice that Paul roots his reasoning in scripture by quoting Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” When a husband and wife enter into the covenant of marriage, they become one flesh. Their lives  are joined together as one. This is true of every legitimate marriage whether or not the couple knows it. 

And notice the mention of the church union with Christ with the words,  “just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” So again, there is a connection that  is to be made between the one flesh union that exists between husbands and wives, and the Spirit wrought union that exists between Christ and all who believe upon his name. If we have faith in Christ then we are joined to him by the Spirit. He is the head, and  we are the body. 

And finally, notice the rationale. If it is true that a  husband is so joined to his wife in the covenant of marriage, then it follows that he would be wise to love her, nourish her and cherish her, and fool not to. Again, “He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it…”There are exceptions to the rule, of course. Some do engage in self harm. But that also makes the point. Those who engage in self harm are broken and in need healing and restoration, while those who are well nourish and cherish their own flesh to the glory of God.

 Husbands ought to love their wives, for they are one flesh with them. 

I have often exhorted Christian men to love their wives, to serve them and cherish them by presenting the rationale of the Apostle, saying, trust me, brother, you’ll be glad that you did! Do you want it good, brother? Then love your wife. Live, not for yourself, but for her. Lay aside your desires, and seek to fulfill hers. And just watch how that will come back to bless you.

Now, I understand that this reasoning can be twisted and misapplied by those who are self serving in the heart. I do not think that loving our wives so that we might blessed should be our primary motivation, friends. Our love for God and our sincere love for our wife should be the primary motives. Nevertheless, this is a motivation. In fact, the scriptures do often call us to obedience to God — obedience of all kinds — by reminding us of how blessed it is to obey him.  

Take for example Psalm 1:1:“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers” (Psalm 1:1–3, ESV). This passage is famous for  encouraging obedience to God by appealing to the blessing (or true happiness) that it brings. 

And in Matthew 10:39 we hear Christ himself say, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10:39, ESV). This is counterintuitive to the worldly man. The world assumes that to find life — abundant and fulfilling life — one ought to live life for themselves. But here Christ teaches that true life is found when we die to self and live for Christ instead. 

The exhortation that Paul delivers to Christian husbands might also seem counterintuitive at first. Do you want to be blessed in your marriage, brother? Then lay down your life for your bride. Live, not for yourself, but for her. Make her happiness your leading concern. Make meeting her needs your aim. And watch and see how blessed you will be! This is the reasoning of the Apostle. All Christians will blessed as they live, not to please themselves, but to please God and others. And this is especially true for Christian husbands given the reality of the one flesh union that exists in the marriage bond.

[APPLICATION: Brothers, you will need to  reflect on this point and ask, am I loving my wife and living for her good, or am I self-centered? Your impulse might be to say, well of course I love her! But I am asking you to reflect carefully and deeply on this point.

Are you daily and momentarily laying down your life for your wife? And please fight the impulse to think in terms of the heroic. How many men would happily say, “I would die for you, dear”, who at the same time grumble at the thought of helping with the dishes, or are negligent when it comes to spending quality time with their wives to be sure that her spiritual needs are met. Men, when the scriptures call us to lay down our lives for our wives it is not primarily about the heroic, but is in the common and daily affairs of life that this self-sacrificial living is to be manifest.

Live with your wives in an understanding way, brothers. 

Do not be harsh with them. 

Build them up with your words, and never tear them down. 

Be tenderhearted, compassionate and forgiving.

Remember that “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7, ESV).

The command: Husbands, love your wives. 

The manner: “…as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”

The rationale: Given the one flesh union that exists in the marriage bond,  “he who loves his wife loves himself.” 

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The Motive: Love Her, To Display Christ’s Love For The Church (vs. 32)

And lastly we will consider the primary motive: Husbands are to love their wives, for when they do they put on display Christ’s love for the church. Stated differently, when husbands love their wives as they ought, the marvelous love and grace that God has shown to us in Christ Jesus is put on display, which the design for marriage from the beginning.

Consider verse 32: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32, ESV).

Let us consider this verse carefully, for these are deep waters.  

The first question we must answer is, what does the “this” refer to at the beginning of verse 32?  “This mystery is profound”, the Apostle says. What mystery? 

Well, the “this” must refer back to the one flesh union that exists between husband and wife that was mentioned in the previous verse in the quote from Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” The Apostle calls this one flesh union a “mystery.”

Paul may have in mind that this union is a mystery because it is wrought by the Spirit of God. We cannot see this union, nor are fully able to comprehend how two individuals become one in the covenant of marriage.

 But please understand that when Paul uses the word “mystery” he often has in mind those truths concerning the Christ that were dimly revealed prior to the arrival of the Christ, tha have been revealed clearly now that the Christ has come. And I believe this is how Paul is using the word “mystery” here. He wants for us to see that from the beginning marriage was designed by God to function as a picture of the union that would exist between Christ and his redeemed bride, the church. This union between Christ and his church was revealed dimly in ages past in the covenant of marriage, but now that the Christ has come, and now that the New Covenant has been instituted in his blood, that which was once a mystery has been made clear. And that is why Paul says, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit,  “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

Paul calls the one flesh union enjoyed by husband and wife a “profound”, or very great, “mystery”. And he says that it  “refers to”, pertains to, or has reference to, “Christ and the church.” This means that the one flesh union experienced by husband and wife is, above and before all else, a picture of Christ’s relationship to the church.

[APPLICATION: Truly, this mystery is profound. And I would encourage you all to think about it. Marriage was designed by God to portray his love for his people in Christ Jesus. That is marvelous to consider! And it is also a sobering thought, for it means that marriage is only or primary about the happiness of the two who are wed, nor is it only for the good of the family or society. Instead, it is for the glory of God. Marriage is designed to magnify the marvelous grace and superabundant love of God for us in Christ Jesus. And if this is God’s design for marriage, then we had better be sure to fulfill God’s purpose. 

Husbands, I do hope that you feel the weightiness of the call of God that is upon you to love your wife as Christ loved the church. It is an awesome responsibility. And it is a great privilege with many blessings attached. May we be eager to fulfill this call being motivated above all else to give glory to God by putting on display Christ’s unconditional and never ceasing love for his bride, the church.

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Conclusion

Finally, Paul concludes his exhortation to husbands and wives with these simple words: “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33, ESV). May the Lord give us grace to daily die to self, and to live instead for the glory of God and the good of others. 

Tags: Ephesians 5:22-33

Posted in Sermons Ephesians 5:22-33
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QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION AT HOME OR IN GOSPEL COMMUNITY GROUPS

Sermon manuscript available at emmausrbc.org

• Why is it important to remember the command concerning  mutual submission in 5:21 as we move into the section of Paul’s letter dealing with particular submission (and authority) within the home (5:22-6:9)?
• What does it mean for a wife to “submit” to her husband?  Will submission look the same, practically speaking, in every home? Discuss. 
• Are there limits to a wife’s submission? In other words, is there ever a time when it is right for a wife to go against her husband’s wishes? Is it ever permissible for a wife to divorce her husband? If so, under what circumstances? 
• What is the primary motivation for a wife to submit to her husband?
• Though the particular roles of husband and wife differ, what do they share in common? In other words, what is the common denominator shared between the wife’s call to submission and the husband’s call to headship? 
• Although this sermon was directed at wives, how might these same principles apply to all Christains?

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Old Testament Reading: Genesis 2:18-25

“Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.’” (Genesis 2:18–25, ESV)

New Testament Reading: Ephesians 5:22-24

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” (Ephesians 5:22–24, ESV)

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[Please excuse any and all typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church, but without the benefit of proofreading.] 

Introduction

As we come now into this section of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians wherein he addresses relationships that exist within the home and distinguishes between those who have been given authority and those who are to submit to authority, it is important that we not forget the general command that was issued in 5:21 regarding mutual submission.

There in 5:21 Paul commands all who are in Christ to “[submit] to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21, ESV). This submission of verse 21 is called “mutual submission” because it is to be offered by everyone and to everyone within the church of Christ without distinction or qualification. So there is a sense in which all Christians— officers and members, men and women, young and old, rich and poor — are to “[submit] to one another out of reverence for Christ.” 

As Paul says elsewhere, all Christians are to be “of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.” They are to do “nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than [themsleves].” They are to “look not only to [their] own interests, but also to the interests of others.” They must “have this mind among [themsleves], which is [theirs] in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:2–8, ESV). This is to be the disposition of every Christian, no mater their station in life. They are to be like their Savior who, although he would possess all authority in heaven and on earth, dressed himself in the garb of a servant and washed his disciples feet. This he did to give them an example of how to wield the authority that they would possess as his Apostles (see John 13:15). When Jesus washed the feet of his Apostles it was to illustrate what he had taught them on another occasion, saying, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:25–28, ESV).

I have returned to the principle of mutual submission found in Ephesians 5:21 before moving on to consider Paul’s commands to particular submission in 5:22 so that we might ever keep in mind the spirit of Christian authority. Those with authority in Christ are to serve. Those with authority — elders and deacons, husbands, parents and managers — are to lead, doing “nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility [counting] others more significant than [themsleves].” They are to “look not only to [their] own interests, but also to the interests of others”, for this was the way of Christ. 

While it is true that the principle of “mutual submission” cannot be forgotten, neither can we ignore the Paul’s commands regarding “particular submission”. It cannot be denied that in Ephesians 5:22-6:9 Paul does teach that wives, children and bondservants are to offer a particular kind of submission to those who have authority over them. Wives are to “submit to [their] own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22, ESV). Children are to “obey [their] parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1, ESV). Bondservants are to “obey [their] earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as [they] would Christ…” (Ephesians 6:5, ESV). 

The principle of mutual submission is popular in our culture today. The teaching that all are to submit to one another universally, without distinction or qualification is rather unoffensive. But as you know some within our culture will respond with distain to the idea that the some have authority over others in this world, and that honor is to be given to those who have authority. 

I do understand that the reasons for the resistance to authority are complex. In some cases, authority is resisted because those with authority have been abusive. Nevertheless, it is important for you to see, Christian, that God has called us all to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, and for some to offer up submission to those whom the Lord has placed over them for the good of the church, the family and for society at large. 

As I have just said, the portion of Ephesians that we are about to consider is controversial. And we should not be surprised that some have attempted to explain it away. One of the common approaches to the dismissal of Paul command for wives to submit to their husbands, for example, is to claim that Paul was addressing husband and wives according to the cultural norms of that day, but that times have changed. “We have made progress”, the progressives say, “and we no longer bound to follow these customs.” 

But consider three things in response to the progressive view of Ephesians 5:22ff.: 

One, Paul’s command for wives to submit to their husbands is not rooted in culture, but in creation and in Christ. Later in verse 31 we will hear Paul support his instructions for husbands by quoting from Genesis 2:24, which says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, ESV). And here in Paul’s instructions for wives he compares the relationship between husbands and wife to Christ’s relationship to the church. As we will see, the marriage bond was designed to function as a picture of Christs relationship to the church. We will discuss that more later. But for now see that Paul instructions for husbands and wives are rooted, not in the cultural trend of his day, but in creation and Christ. In other words, this is how thing are to be because this is the way that God designed them to be. 

Two, children are also command in this passage to obey their parents, “for this is right”, the Apostle says. I wonder if the progressive will be consistent in their interpretation and say that Paul’s commmand for a child to obey their parents was also rooted in the cultural norms of the day. And yes, I do understand that some are this radical — they believe that we are to progress beyond the so-called “traditional family model”. But I would assume that most progressives would agree with the Apostle when he says that it “is right” for a child to obey their parents. And why is it right? It is right because this is the way that God designed us. He made us to be raised in families where children learn to  obey a mother who offers up submission to a father who loving leads. 

Three, all of this teaching concerning submission to authority is summarized in the fifth of the ten commandments, which says, “‘Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” (Deuteronomy 5:16, ESV). I do love the teaching that our catechism provides on this commandment. It helps us to see that this commandments in not just about little children obeying mom and day (it is about that!), but it is about submission to authority in general. Baptist Catechism 69 asks, What is required in the fifth commandment? A: The fifth commandment requireth the preserving the honor, and performing the duties, belonging to everyone in their several places and relations, as superiors, inferiors, or equals.”

[APPLICATION: This idea, friends, that are “superiors, inferiors, [and] equals” as it pertains to authority and submission within the church, family, and society is being viscously assaulted today. And here is an instance where the church of Christ is able to be countercultural. We ought to show the world that is in fact exercise authority, but as a servant and in love, as Christ did. And we ought to show the world that is right and good to (with some rare exceptions) submit to authority wherever it exists, thought it be wielded by imperfect, and in so doing demonstrate our trust in and submission to God who Sovereign over all. Not all progress is good, friends. Progress is only true progress when it leads to greater obedience to God and the glory of his name. Let us be wise and discerning. May we have the courage to resist the current trends if they are contrary to God’s moral law.]

Paul does not address authority in the church here in this passage. Neither does he address political authority. Instead he address the authority and submission within the home. These are the three spheres in which we live our lives — the church, the home and society. These three spheres are interrelated, but they are to be distinguished. The Christian must learn to walk worthily and according to wisdom in all three. As I have said, here in Ephesians 5:22-6:9 the Apostle turns his attention to the home. And he begins with the most important relationship within the home — the relationship between husband and wife. It is not uncommon for married couples to allow their marriage relationship to take second place to the children when they become parents. But this is a terrible mistake. The relationship between husband and wife is the most vital relationship within the Christian family. The children will soon grow to adulthood and leave the home to establish their own. Husbands and wives will be left alone again. Their relationship had better be strong. And the children will be truly blessed to grow up under the guidance and protection of a loving marriage bond, and so Paul address husbands and wives first. 

Notice that the Apostle devotes three times as much space to his instructions for husbands. 9 verses are devoted to them in 5:25-33, whereas only 3 verses are devoted to the wives. I suppose we can debate as to why that is. One reason might be that what Paul had to say to husbands would have been far more controversial in his day than what he had to say to wives. But he starts with the wives, saying, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22, ESV). Paul’s instructions for Christian wives will be our focus for the remainder of the sermon today. 

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Exhortation: Wives, Submit To Your Own Husbands, As To The Lord

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord”, Paul says. And he says something similar in Colossians 3:18: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” And the Apostle Peter says it this way: “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct” (1 Peter 3:1–2, ESV). And lastly, in Ephesians 5:33 Paul will conclude his exhortation to wives and husbands by saying, “let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33, ESV). The teaching of scripture on this point is uniform and clear. Wives are called by God to submit to their husbands within the home. As I have said, this teaching would have been very much uncontroversial in the first century, but it is very controversial in our day.

Before moving on we should take just a moment to notice what Paul does not say. Notice that Paul does not say to that women are to submit to men, but rather that wives are to submit to their “own husbands”. This is a significant observation. Nowhere do the scriptures teach that women are to submit to men generally and in every sphere. Rather, they teach that men are to serve as officers within Christ’s church (reflecting male headship within the home), and that wives are to submit to their “own husbands”. 

Two, Paul does not command wives to obey their husbands as he will with children in relation to parents (6:1), and bondservants in relation to masters (6:5)). Instead Paul commands wives to “submit” to their husbands. And this is certainly more fitting for the relationship that exists between husband and wife, for they are companions. That is what she is called in Malachi 2:14 —  a “companion and… wife by covenant” (Malachi 2:14, ESV). For this reason she is not called to dutifully obey, but to willing submit to her husband. 

So what does mean for a wife to submit to her husband? It means that she recognized the God given authority of her husband, honors it, and is willing to follow his lead.  

I am afraid that many misconceptions abound regarding the submission of the wife. Some picture an authoritarian husband and a wife who obeys him dutifully, mindlessly and begrudgingly. This is not what the scriptures call us to in marriage. Some imaging that male headship and female submission must translate to particular duties within the home. Many of these preconceptions are cultural, I’m afraid. While it is true the wife is called to in Titus 2:5 to be diligent in her management of the home, she is not forebidden from also working outside the home, nor is the husband forbidden from doing the dishes and moping the floor. Headship and submission will look different, practically speaking, from household to household. There are so many different personality types, skill sets and circumstances  — husbands and wives will need to sort things out to know how to best go about doing life together, practically speaking. But this thing cannot change within the Christian home: the husband must lovingly lead, and the wife must see to it that she submits to her husband, showing respect to him, for this is right and good and fitting. 

Questions will undoubtably arise.

What is a wife to do if her husbands comes short of what Ephesians 5:25-33 calls him to, namely, loving, self-sacrificial  and Christ-like leadership. What then? I would immagine that must wives would happily submit to their husbands if their husbands would only lead as Christ has called them to. But what is a wife to do if her husband falls short of that? Well, Peter addresses this in general, saying, “wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct” (1 Peter 3:1–2, ESV). Of course a wife is to do other things as well. She is to pray for her husband. If he is a believer, she may certainly speak to him about obeying Christ in the marriage relationship. They together might even choose to seek help from within the church. But one thing a wife must not do is respond to her husband who is falling short by falling short herself! A Christian wife is to honor her husband even if he is acting dishonorably. She is to show him grace. Her conduct must always remain respectful and pure. And it may be that the Lord will use this to win the husband either to faith in Christ, or to a more worthy walk. Stated differently, Christian wives are to what Paul commanded all Christians to do back in 4:25 and following, where Paul said, “having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:25–32, ESV).

Another question might be, is there a limit to the wives submission? In other words, is there ever a time where she might go against her husbands wishes? And the answer is yes. A wife is to disobey her husband if the husband is leading her to disobey Christ. Elsewhere Paul says, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3, ESV). The authority that a husband possesses is not absolute. Far from it. The husband is under God’s authority, and under Christ’s. If the husband is leading the wife to disobey God and Christ, then she must say to him what Peter said to the high priest who forbid him from preaching Christ: “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29, ESV).

And is there ever a time when a wife is permitted to divorce her husband? In brief, the answer is yes, in the case of infidelity or abandonment. But these things must be handled with great care, lest we fall into great sin and make matters worse by our impatience and our unwillingness to bear up under times of difficulty for the glory of God and for our good. A wife would be foolish to enter into such a decision on her own, apart from the council of her pastors, and others who are godly and wise.

But in general, the command is that “Wives, submit to [their] own husbands, as to the Lord”. 

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Motive: As To The Lord

That last phrase in verse 22, “as to the Lord”, is very significant, for it introduces the motive for the wive’s submission. And pay careful attention to this: when a wife submits to her husband, she really is submits to Christ. That is what that little phrase means. Why is the Christian wife to honor, respect and submit to her husband? She is do so because Lord has commanded it — she is to do so out of submission to Christ!

Now, there may be other things motivating her as well. Her sincere love for her husband might also move her to submit. Her desire to have a blessed marriage might motivate her. The wife may also be concerned to see her children blessed as they observe her respectful and pure conduct. But supremly, her submission to her husband should be driven by her love for and submission to Christ!

Notice this, wives: The motivation for your submission is not found in your husband, but in Christ. The world says, I will honor him provided that he is honorable. The world says I will show him love and respect so long as he loves and respects me. And if he dishonors me, then I will dishonor him! And eye for an I, and a tooth for a tooth. But our marriages are not to function as a picture of God’s law, which says, do this and you shall live, but of the gospel and of the grace of God that has been shown to us in Christ Jesus. Wives, submit to your husbands, honor and respect them, not because they are deserving, but out of reverence for Christ. 

This truth will certainly help wives who are struggling in a difficult marriage where their husbands do not obey Christ. But this truth should also be an encouragement to wives who’s husbands are in the Lord. Even the best of Christian husbands will fall short of God’s calling to love their wives as Christ has loved the church. And wives, when they fall short, honor them, submit them, show them grace in Christ Jesus. If they are truly regenerate, your respectful and pure conduct will be used by the Lord to soften their hearts and to draw them back to a walk that is worthy. 

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

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Rationale: For The Husband Is The Head Of The Wife Even As Christ As The Head Of The Church, His Body, And Is Himself Its Savior

We have heard the exhortation. We have considered the motive. And in verse 23 we encounter the rational (or reason) for the wives submission: “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior” (Ephesians 5:23, ESV).

This verse is brief, but it is filled with meaning. 

First, the declaration: “the husband is the head of the wife”. In the context the metaphor of “head” must mean the husband is the one who has authority over the wife, the one who is responsible for her (and the family), and the one who must lead. We will turn our attention to husbands in the next section, and when we do husbands will be exhorted to lovingly fulfill their calling as head of their household. But for now simply notice that Pauls states it as a fact: “the husband is the head of the wife”.

And why does Paul state things so dogmatically? Doesn’t he know that sometimes the wives are more gifted leaders than the husbands? Shouldn’t he consider the differences in personality and temperament before assigning the role of “head” to the men only? 

He states things dogmatically in this way because it was Paul’s view (and it should also be ours) that God created men and women to function this way. Adam was made first, then Eve was taken from his side. She was made to correspond to him and to help him. And he was lovingly lead her as his head. 

That this was in fact Paul’s belief becomes clear in what see says next. After the declaration, “the husband is the head of the wife”, he provides and analogy, saying, “even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” So, as it pertains to headship and authority, the husband is to the wife, what Christ is to the church. This analogy can be pushed too far, of course. The husband is unlike Christ in many ways. Th husband is not the savior of the wife. The husband does not possess the same kind of authority that Christ has, namely, ultimate authority. But despite the obvious differences, the analogy is fitting. In the marriage covenant the husband is to the wife what Christ is to the church in the covenant of grace.

 Something profound is being established by here. A picture is beginning to emerge, I hope. We are beginning to see that marriage is not only for the happiness of those who are wed. Not only is it only for the good of the family and society. But there is something about the marriage relationship that corresponds to Christ’s relationship to the church. The marriage covenant is to image Christ’s covenantal relationship with his people. This picture is beginning to appear. Paul will elaborate upon it more in that section where he speaks to husbands, and he will eventually say it in a most direct way: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:32, ESV)

I sincerely believe that this is the most important thing for you to grasp about marriage: the marriage covenant is not only for the good of the couple who is wed. It not only good for the family and society. It is designed to put the love of Christ for the church, and the submission of the church to Christ on full display for the world to see. Brothers and sisters, we must be mindful of this in Christ Jesus. Husbands, if you failing to lovingly lead your wife, you are not ony harming your wife and your household, you are missing out on opportunity to put Christ’s love for the church on display. And wives, if you are failing to lovingly submit to your husbands, you are not ony harming your husband and your household, but you are missing out on an opportunity to put the churches reciprocal love for Christ on display. Even worse yet we may be doing damage to reputation of Christ by failing to submit and lead as Christ has called us to in the marriage bond.

Why are wives to submit to their husbands? They are to do so “as to the Lord” because “the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” 

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Extent: Now As The Church Submits To Christ, So Also Wives Should Submit In Everything To Their Husbands

Lastly, the Apostle delivers one last concluding exhortation while also describing the extent of the wives submission. Verse 24: “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” (Ephesians 5:24, ESV). 

What should the wive’s submission to her husband look like? What should it entail? She may look to the church’s relationship to Christ as an analogy. Once again, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:24, ESV). 

This is instructive. It continues to develop the analogy that was begun in verse 23. There the husband is compared to Christ in regard to headship, and here the wife is compared to the church in regard to submission. What is the maner an extent of the wive’s submission to her husband. Well, just as the church submits to Christ in all things, so too the wife is to submit to her husband in all things. 

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Conclusion

Brothers and sisters, this is a high calling. Christian wives are here in this passage called by the Lord to lay down their lives for the good of their husbands. Wives are here called to do “nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count [their husbands] more significant than [themsleves].” They are to “look not only to [their] own interests, but also to the interests of [their husbands].” They are called to “have this mind [in them], which is [theirs] in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:2–8, ESV). 

Wives, will you do this? Will you choose to honor your husbands always and in everything? Will you “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” Will you determine to “be kind to [your husband], tenderhearted, forgiving [him], as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31–32, ESV). Will you do it for him? Will you do it for the sake of the children? Will you do it for the good of your own soul? And above all, will you do it for the sake of Christ, so that God would get the glory?

As you can probably tell, a very similar sermon is in the works for Christian husbands. Though the roles of husbands and wives do differ — the husband is called to loving lead and the wife to submit to him — they share this in common: the Christian husband must also lay down his life for the good of his wife. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV), will be the leading exhortation. 

May the Lord help us in these things. May the love of God for us in Christ Jesus be put on display as we lay down our lives for one another, love one another and forgive one another. May we learn to be gracious and kind, just as God has been gracious and kind to us. And in all things, may God get the glory. 

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Concluding Prayer

Pastoral Prayer

Tags: Ephesians 5:21-24

Posted in Sermons Ephesians 5:21-24
Comments Off on Sermon: Ephesians 5:22-24: Wives, Submit To Your Husbands As To The Lord Posted by Joe

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION AT HOME OR IN GOSPEL COMMUNITY GROUPS

Sermon manuscript available at emmausrbc.org

• What is wisdom? Can sin ever be wise? Is it possible to not commit sin and yet be not wise? How is wisdom gained?
• What does it mean to be filled with the Spirit?
• How will a person who is filled with the Spirit show it within the Christain congregation?
• Why is our singing important? 
• What does it mean for Christans to submit to one another? How can it be that wives are called to submit to their husbands in 5:22 while husbands are also called to submit to their wives in 5:21? How can both of these things be true at the same time?

Tags: Gospel Community Groups

Posted in Study Guides Gospel Community Groups
Comments Off on Discussion Questions For Sermon On Ephesians 5:15-21 Posted by Joe

Old Testament Reading: Proverbs 2

“My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you, delivering you from the way of evil, from men of perverted speech, who forsake the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness, who rejoice in doing evil and delight in the perverseness of evil, men whose paths are crooked, and who are devious in their ways. So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words, who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God; for her house sinks down to death, and her paths to the departed; none who go to her come back, nor do they regain the paths of life. So you will walk in the way of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous. For the upright will inhabit the land, and those with integrity will remain in it, but the wicked will be cut off from the land, and the treacherous will be rooted out of it.” (Proverbs 2, ESV)

New Testament Reading: Ephesians 5:15-21

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:15–21, ESV)

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[Please excuse any and all typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church, but without the benefit of proofreading.] 

Introduction

Before we dive into the text of Ephesian 5:15-21 I think it would be beneficial to note its place in this epistle. This that passage that we are about to consider brings Paul’s exhortation to the church in general to “walk worthy” to a conclusion. From 4:1  to 5:21 Paul has the church as a whole in mind when as he exhorts them to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which they had been called. 

We have encountered the metaphor of walking seven times now in Ephesians.

In 2:1 we read, “And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—” (Ephesians 2:1–2, ESV)

In 2:10 the Apostle said, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10, ESV)

And then in 4:1 we hear Paul say, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,” (Ephesians 4:1, ESV)

In 4:17 we read, “Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.” (Ephesians 4:17, ESV)

5:2: “And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:2, ESV)

5:8: “for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light” (Ephesians 5:8, ESV)

And lastly, 5:15: “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,” (Ephesians 5:15, ESV)

Clearly Paul has been concerned to open the Christian’s mind to this reality: the change that has been wrought within us by the word of God and by the power of the Spirit is to produce a new walk — a new way of life that fits our new creation self. And as I have said, up to this point the Paul has had the church as whole in view as he has urged us to walk worthy in Christ Jesus. 

But let’s look forward just a bit. And as we do we will notice that Paul will soon turn his attention to the home and to the various relationships that exist within it. In 5:22-33 he will address the relationship between husband and wife. In 6:1-4 he will discuss the relationship between parents and children. And in 6:5-9 he will address the relationship between bondservants and masters. It is not until 6:10 that he turns his attention once again to the Christian in general to offer final exhortations before concluding his letter. 

So please understand that here in 5:15-21 we have the conclusion to the section that began in 4:1 wherein Paul exhorts Christians in general, and the church as a whole — male and female, young and old, rich and poor —  to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which they have been called. Let us pay careful attention to what he says. 

In brief, Paul commands two things as he concludes this section of his epistle. One, he commands the Christian to walk in wisdom. And two, he commands the Christian to be filled with the Holy Spirit. What does he mean? 

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Walk In Wisdom

First of all, let us consider the command to walk in wisdom. 

In verse 15 we read, “Look carefully then how you walk…” 

As I said before, this is the seventh and last appearance of the word “walk” in Paul’s letter. And here we are warned by the Apostle to walk carefully in the world. All who are living walk, but not all walk carefully. 

I can remember when my children were younger some of them — and I can not remember which ones (David I know for sure) — had a bad habit of walking but not looking where they were going. I remember saying “put your eyes in front of you” many times in those years. I also remember a season where David constantly had a large knot on his forehead from running into things. Door knobs were a particular threat to him when he was at a certain hight. He was walking, but his walk was not careful. Paul says that we are to walk carefully in this world. 

But what does a careful walk look like? And conversely, what does a reckless walk look like? I think you would agree that the answer to that question will differ from person to person depending on their values. If a person values physical pleasure above all else, for example, then a walk that produces pleasure will be deemed careful, whereas a walk that produces pain or discomfort will be deemed reckless. If a person loves money above all else, then decisions will be deemed either careful or reckless depending upon the financial consequences. If a person is supremely concerned about health and safely, then the question of whether a walk is careful or reckless will be judged according to the criteria of heath and safety.  

So when Paul says, “Look carefully then how you walk…”, what does he have in mind? 

Well, he has already described a worthy walk in 4:1-5:14. He certainly has all of that in mind. And he will continue to describe a worthy walk in the rest of this letter as he turns his attention to husbands and wives, parents and children, bondservants and masters. When Paul says,  “Look carefully then how you walk…”, he is urging us to contemplate what he said in this letter, to fix our eyes upon this standard, and to obey it. 

But here Paul says more: he tells us that we are to walk as people who are wise. “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise” (Ephesians 5:15, ESV). Wisdom is the art of godly living. To be wise is to live life according to truth. God has reveled his truth in nature, but even more clearly in his word. The wise person lives his or her life according to God’s word. There wise person obeys God’s commandments. To sin against God — to violate his law — is never wise, but is always foolish. But more than this, the one who is wise has learned to choose, not only the right path, but the best path in the realm of righteousness. And how is wisdom like this attained? It begins with the fear of the Lord, as Provers 9:10 so famously says: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight” (Proverbs 9:10, ESV). It is impossible to walk in wisdom without first fearing God. And we grow in wisdom as our knowledge of him increases.  Wisdom comes from knowing God and his word. Wisdom increases as we learn over time and with much practice to obey God’s word and to choose the best paths as we sojourn in this world. 

Note this: Here Paul is not only calling the Christian to walk obediently — that is to say, in obedience to God’s commandments in thought, word and deed. More than this, he is calling the Christians to pursue wisdom. Obeying God’s law and walking according to wisdom are not the same thing. They are related, of course. But they are not the same. Disobeying God law is never wise — it is always foolish. But wisdom is something more. Wisdom, as I have already said, is the art of living Godly. Wisdom not only chooses the right path, but the best paths in the realm of righteousness.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise…” And then the Apostle says, “making the best use of the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15–16, ESV).

This is an interesting and very important phrase. The wise person knows that “the days are evil.” What does this mean? It means two things, I think. One, “the days are evil” in that they are, in this present aged, filled with wickedness and the temptation to do that which is wicked in the sight of God. The fool is oblivious to this reality. But the Christian who is wise knows that their “adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8, ESV), and they are watchful — careful. Two, the one who is wise knows “the days are evil” in the sense that they are fleeting, and so they make “the best use of the time” as Paul says in the first half of this verse. Notice we are to make the best use of the time. We are spend the time that we have on earth in the best possible way. We are to invest in the best things — eternal and lasting things — knowing that they “are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes”, as James says. The days of are life in this present age are evil. They are filled with temptation. They are marked by trials and tribulations. And they are fleeting. This is not to say that our days are nor also good days. Indeed, we enjoy good things in this life — very good things, by the grace of God. But in this sense “the days are evil”, and so we are to walk in wisdom, “making the best use of the time”.

And then the Apostle again describes a wise walk, saying, “Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is” (Ephesians 5:17, ESV). We speak of the will of God in two ways. His hidden or secret will is his sovereign and eternal decree. It will surely come to pass. We will know what it is only after it happens. There are some things that the Lord has revealed to us concerning the future, but most everything concerning the future is a mystery to us. Clearly, Paul is not refering to this secret and hidden will when he says, understand what the will of the Lord is, for who can possible understand that will. Instead, the Apostle is commanding us to know God’s revealed will. 

And what is God’s revealed will? Read the scriptures to find out! Know God’s law. Read the New Testament and pay special attention to the commands. For example, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 commands us to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” And 1 Thesalonians 4:3 says,  “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality…” So you see that God’s revealed will is not mysterious. It can be known. And the Christian must know it. The Christian should say to God, along with the Psalmest, “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:11, ESV). And the Christian is to forever grow in the art of godly living, learning to apply the revealed truths of holy scripture to the daily circumstances that we face. “Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is”, the Apostle says. 

[APPLICATION: So friends, I ask you, are you walking carefully? Are your eyes in front of you, as it were, fixed upon Christ and his word? Are you making the best use of time, knowing that the days are evil? Are you pursuing wisdom, seeking to grow ever more in your knowledge of the will of God for you in Christ Jesus? 

This is what it means to walk in a manner that is worthy. Not only are we to put off the old self and the old sinful thoughts, words and deeds. Not only are we to put on the new self created anew in Christ Jesus. We are also to pursue wisdom. We must seek to know the will of the Lord, and learn to obey all that Christ has commanded.

Brothers and sisters, I wonder if we are not sometimes too easily pleased with our progress in sanctification. I wonder if we are not too easily contented with a sanctification that takes us merely to a place of socialy acceptable behavior. Do you know what I mean by that? I am speaking here of a sanctification that knocks the ruff edges off and puts forward a good face, but comes short of true holiness is thought, word and deed — a sanctification that comes short of true wisdom. May we forever chase after a deeper understanding of God’s will for us so that we might walk carefully  in this world, “not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time.”]

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Be Filled With The Spirit

The second command uttered by the Apostle in this text is found in verse 18, which says, “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit…” (Ephesians 5:18, ESV). In fact, there are two commands here in verse 18. One is negatively stated: “do not get drunk with wine”. The other is positively stated: “be filled with the Spirit…” But these are to be taken together as one, the meaning being this: Instead of giving yourself over to fleshly passions and being driven by earthly things (drinking to the point of drunkenness being an example of such behavior), be driven and controlled by the Holy Spirit of God so that you carefully and soberly do God’s will.

First, Paul commands us to be not drunk with wine. Notice that he does not say do not drink wine, but rather, “do not get drunk with wine”. Whether or not you drink wine, or some other alcoholic beverage, is your choice to make. The choice falls into the realm of wisdom. Wisdom might dictate that you choose to abstain from all alcohol, but never should you judge your brother or sister who chooses to partake, and vice versa.

Second, Paul commands us to “be filled with the Spirit”. In the place of being filled with wine to the point of drunkenness, leading to other sins, no doubt, the Christian is to be filled with the Spirit of God, leading to a worthy walk. 

But what is this filling that Paul speaks of? He has already taught that the Christian is filled with the Spirit earlier in his epistle. The Christian is sealed with the Spirit (1:13, 4:30). The Christian has access to the Father in the Spirit (2:18). The church collectively is being built into a temple — a dwelling place for God by the Spirit. Paul’s prayer was that the Christian would be “strengthened with power through [God’s] Spirit in [their] inner being…” (Ephesians 3:16, ESV). And in 4:1 the exhortation was that we would be “eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3, ESV). Everything stated in Ephesians up to this point would indicate that the believer is in the Spirit and the Spirit in the believer from the time of conversion. Paul is not here commanding the Christian to receive the Spirit or to have some experience of the Spirit, but to walk in the Spirit — to be Spirit filled and Spirit controlled from day to day. 

What Paul says here in Ephesians is similar to what he says in Romans 8:4 and following. There he describes Christians as those “who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” He continues, saying, “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him” (Romans 8:4–9, ESV). 

To belong to Christ is to “have the Spirit”. All who have faith in Christ are “in the Spirit”. But here in Romans, and also Ephesians, the Apostle is commanding the Christian to walk, not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit — to be not drunk with wine, but to be filled in the Spirit.  

How do we do this? 

The context make it clear. We walk in the Spirit and are filled with the Spirit when we give the Spirit control — when we live, not for the things of this world, but the things of God — when we seek to please the Lord and not ourselves — when we walk worthily.

You will notice that the Apostle goes on to describe what a Spirit filled existences looks like. Look again at 5:18: “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:18–21, ESV)

The words “addressing”, “singing”, “giving thanks”, and “submitting” describe the means by which the Christian demonstrates that he our she is indeed filled with the Spirit. Stated in the form of a question, what will the Christian who is walking in the Spirit do? He or she will address other believers with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, sing and make melody to the Lord with their heart, give thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and submit to other believers out of reverence for Christ.

Please note this: to be filled with the Spirit involves walking with Christ as a member of the church. It involves corporate worship. It involves true fellowship. The one who is Spirit filled will sing in the Christian congregation, will give thanks to God in the church, and will submit to others in Christ’s name. 

All of this makes perfect sense when we remember what the Apostle has already said concerning the church. The church, remember, is the temple of the Holy Spirit. To the church in Ephesus Paul said, “In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit” (Ephesians 2:22, ESV). To be filled with the Spirit is to obey the Spirit, and not the flesh. And the one who is filled with the Spirit will show that they are by fulfilling their function as stones in God’s spiritual temple. They will assemble to sing praises to God. They will assemble to give thanks. They will assemble to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. The one who says that they are Spirit filled who refuses to join themselves to the church and to worship God in the Christian congregation is a liar and the truth is not in them.

Let us briefly consider the three things that Paul mentions here in verses 19 – 21 that accompany a Spirit filled existence: singing, giving thanks, and submitting. 

First of all, the one who is Spirit filled will sing. 

Specifically they will sing to God. They will sing and make “melody to the Lord with [their] heart” (Ephesians 5:19, ESV). Being Spirit filled will show itself in worship. The people of God are a singing people. The angels in heaven sing. What a marvelous thing singing is. We humans have the ability to put our words into the form of song. When we pray to God we express ourselves in ordinary speech. But so great is our love and appreciation for God that we are moved to express our prayers in the form of song. To speak the mind must be engaged. To sing one must use the mind and the heart. Perhaps you have noticed that when your heart is hard towards God it is difficult — maybe impossible — to sing. Those who are walking in the Spirit will sing and make “melody to the Lord with [their] heart”.

And this they will do, not only as individuals, but within the Christian congregation. Notice that Paul describes them as singing, not only to God, but to one another. They are said to “[address] one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs…” I wonder if you think about worship in this way. When we sing as a congregation our praise is certainly directed towards God, and not man. But as we sing we are in fact addressing one another. We are singing to God things that are true. And when we sing, all who are in the congregation hear those words and are encouraged by them. 

And notice that the Christian congregation is to sing, not just any song, but “psalms and hymns and spiritual songs…” Some interpret these terms “psalms and hymns and spiritual songs” to mean that the church is only permitted to sing inspired scripture — that is, songs found within the pages of Holy Scripture. Our view is that we should sing scripture — the Psalms and other songs that are found within it’s pages — but that the church is also permitted to sing other songs — new songs — provided that they are true to scripture, and reflect the themes, spirit, and reverence of the songs contained within. 

[APPLICATION: To be filled with the Spirit means that we will sing praises to God in the midst of the Christian congregation. I would like to slow down for just a moment to reflect, therefore, upon the importance of this element of our worship. When we gather together Lord’s Day by Lord’s Day we read scripture, we pray, we observe the sacrament, and we sing. How important our singing is! 

The songs that we sing must either be scripture, or true to scripture.

The songs that we sing should reflecting the range of human emotion found within the songs of scripture. 

Our singing must be congregational. You have noticed, no doubt, how simple our music is here at Emmaus. That is deliberate. The job of the worship leader is simply to conduct. And the church is the choir. We have grown in our convictions over the years that any style of music that draws attention to those on stage and encourages observation rather than participation from the members is out of step with a biblical notion of singing. When the church assembles each member is to participate, “addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with [their] heart.” 

And think of what happens when we do this!

One, God is glorified as we collectively give thanks to him in our singin.

Two, our unity with one another is communicated and strengthened. Together we sing the same words to the same God through the same Mediator and by the same Spirit.  When we sing together, we praise the Father with one voice. By the way, I believe it is good and right for a congregation to work on its singing. We are a church, and as the church, we are also a choir. We should learn to sing well. Our singing should be strong and heartfelt. We should learn to harmonize. Think of what of what harmonizing communicates. No only is beautiful and fitting for the worship of God, it also reflects the unity in diversity that exists within Christ’s church.

Three, when we sing together those whose faith is weak will be strengthened by those who are strong. Those who are discouraged will be carried along and uplifted by the voice of those who are in that moment encouraged in the Lord.]

Those who are filled in the Spirit will sing. The will give praise with their lips to the Triune God within the Christian congregation. Secondly, they will give thanks. All of our praying and singing is to be permitted with thanksgiving. But it is at the Lord’s table that we give thanks to the Lord in the Christian congregation as we celebrate the eucharist. Remember how, “Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, ‘Take, eat; this is my body.’ And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins” (Matthew 26:26–28, ESV). When we come to the Table, we are to give thanks to God. 

And thirdly, those who are Spirit filled will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. And with these word’s Paul concludes his general exhortation to the church to walk in a manner that is worthy. Verse 21: “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21, ESV).

This is huge. In Christ, all are to submit to one another. Male and female, old and young, rich and pour, officer and member are here commanded to submit to one another in Christ Jesus. 

I assume that you are familiar with the section of Paul’s epistle that is next wherein he gives specific instructions to husbands and wives, parents and children, bondservants and masters concerning their role within the home. It is well known that there Paul commands wives to submit to their husbands, children to their parents, and bondservants to their masters. I draw your attention to the teaching of the Apostle regarding authority and submission prematurely in order to make this very important observation: before the Apostle commands wives, children and bondservants to honor those who are over them, he commands all Christians to “[submit] to one another out of reverence for Christ”. 

Tell me, how can it be that Christian wives are in Ephesians 5:22 (the next verse) commanded to submit to their husbands when in 5:21 Paul commanded all Christians to submit to one another? Did the Apostle contradict himself? For how can there possibly be this universal, mutual submission of 5:21 and at the same time a particular kind of submission expected from some?

I pray that you would see that these two things are not at all contradictory. It is true that the wife is called by God to submit to her husband’s authority within the home. But at the same time it also true that the husband, in the another sense, is to submit to his wife in Christ Jesus. She does not have authority over him in the home, but she is a sister in Christ, and an heir with [him] of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7). And because of this the husband is to live with her in an understanding way, he is to honor and respect her — yes, he is even to submit to her in Christ Jesus, putting her interests, needs and desires before his own. 

The point is this: before Paul commands wives, children and bondservants to submit to those who have authority over them in the home, he commands all Christians to submit to one another in Christ. And this they will do if they are walking in the Spirit. The Spirit filled Christian will be like Christ and will “look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4–8, ESV).

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Conclusion

So friends, as we seek to walk worthy, let us not only put off the old sinful self, and put on the new self created in Christ Jesus. Let us also pursue wisdom, and be filled with Spirit as we walk in the world together. May we fulfill God’s calling to function as his holy temple as we, Lord’s Day by Lord’s Day, “[address] one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with [our hearts], giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:19–21, ESV)

Tags: Ephesians 5:15-21

Posted in Sermons Ephesians 5:15-21
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QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION AT HOME OR IN GOSPEL COMMUNITY GROUPS

Sermon manuscript available at emmausrbc.org

• How can a human being possibly imitate God? Why is it easier to think of the imitation of Christ? How is imitating Chrst the same as imitating God?
• What does it mean to walk in love? Why is it important for us to look to God, to his word, and to Christ to know what true love is? How might we get love wrong if left to ourselves?
• Why does Paul issue the stern warning that those who live in sin have no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ? How might a self-righteous person misapply this warning? How might someone with a particularly sensitive conscience misapply this? What is Paul’s intention?
• How might we apply the command to take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness?

Tags: Gospel Community Groups

Posted in Study Guides Gospel Community Groups
Comments Off on Discussion Questions For Sermon On Ephesians 5:1-14 Posted by Joe

Old Testament Reading: Leviticus 19:1–4

“And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, ‘Speak to all the congregation of the people of Israel and say to them, You shall be holy, for I the LORD your God am holy. Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the LORD your God. Do not turn to idols or make for yourselves any gods of cast metal: I am the LORD your God.’” (Leviticus 19:1–4, ESV)

New Testament Reading: Ephesians 5:1-14

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, ‘Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’” (Ephesians 5:1–14, ESV)

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[Please excuse any and all typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church, but without the benefit of proofreading.] 

Introduction

As I read this passage you may have noticed that it is in some ways similar to the previous one. In both the previous passage and in this one those in Christ are commanded by the Apostle to honor Christ in thought, word and deed. 

The passages differ in this regard: 

The previous passage focused upon the Christians relationship with other Christians within the church of Christ  —  “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:25–31, ESV). 

These truths should certainly be applied to our relationship with unbelievers too. But Paul’s point here is that we, as Christians, and as members of the body of Christ, would speak the truth to one another, share with one another, and build one another up in Christ, and never tear one a other down. Again, the Christian is certainly to speak the truth when engaging with those outside the church, etc., etc. But the Apostle’s focus here is upon life within the church. Remember, he is exhorting us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:1–3, ESV). 

But here in the passage that is before us today the focus is upon the Christians relationship to the world. We know how we are to walk in relation to one another, but how are we to walk in relation to the world around us?

In brief, we are to live in the world, but never are we to be of the world. The Christian is to sojourn in this world — we should not seek to isolate ourselves from the world and those who live within it  — but never should we be of the world, parterning with those who practice evil, nor participating in works of darkness.

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Be Imitators Of God In Thought, Word and Deed

Verse 1 and 2 function like a hinge. They simultaneously conclude the previous passage and introduce the next, saying, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children” (Ephesians 5:1, ESV). Perhaps this would be a good verse to commit to memory, for it says it all in very few  words. What does it mean for the Christian to walk worthily in this world? We are to “be imitators of God, as beloved children” (Ephesians 5:1, ESV).

The words, “as beloved children” are very important, for they remind us of what God has done for us by his grace. In love he has adopted us as his children. And as his beloved children, we are to now to mimic the Father. We are to represent the family name. 

Please notice the text does not say, be imitators of God to become beloved children, or to remain beloved children. Rather the text says, “be imitators of God, as beloved children”. If you have faith in Christ a  beloved child is what you are by God’s grace. It is not something you earned, nor is something you maintain by your obedience. But as a beloved child of God it is only fitting that you now be imitators of your Father in heaven. 

It is no secret that we all fall short of this. But here is the standard nonetheless: “be imitators of God, as beloved children”, the text says.  

Clearly the meaning is this — belonging now to God, we are to imitate God as it pertains to his holiness. There are some things about God that simply cannot be imitated, for he alone is God, and everything else is his creation. We cannot imitate God in the least in regard to his eternality, his omnipotence, or his omniscience. Never can the creature imitate those characteristics of God that belong to his divinity, for they are incommunicable. But God has created us in such a way that we are able to image him in some respects. God is love, and we are to love as he loves. God is just, and we are to pursue justice. God is merciful and kind, and we are to reflect his mercy and kindness. This is what the Apostle means when he  says, “be imitators of God, as beloved children”. 

Remember that this was God’s standard for Israel. God, having redeemed Israel, and having entered into a covenantal relationship with them, spoke to them through Moses, saying, “You shall be holy, for I the LORD your God am holy” (Leviticus 19:1–2, ESV). And now God, having redeemed us, adopted us sons, and entered into a covenantal relationship with us, says through the Apostle, “be imitators of God, as beloved children”. We are to live holy lives, for our heavenly Father is holy. 

What specifically does this mean?  Well, in brief, we are to keep God’s moral law. And what is the essence of God’s law? Jesus, quoting Old Testament scriptures, summarized God’s laws saying, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:37–40, ESV). The essence of God’s moral law is love. If we are to keep God’s law — if we are to be imitators of God as beloved children  — then we must love. First, we must love God above all, and with all that we are. And secondly, we must love our neighbor as ourself. This it what it means to walk worthy. This is what it means to be imitators of God as beloved children. It means that we keep God’s law. And the essence of his law is love. 

This is in fact what Paul says in verse 2. After commanding us to be imitators of God he then clarifies and specifies, saying, “And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:2, ESV)

To imitate God is to “walk in love”. Christ is our example. God is love. But it was Christ who walked in love. He was and is the eternal Son of God come in the flesh. He sojourned just as we sojourn. Do you want to know what it looks like for a human to love? Look to Christ! And when we consider his way of life, what do we notice? Well, he lived his whole life, first, for the glory of the Father. That is what verse 2 says, Christ lived as “a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” And secondly, he lived, not for himself, but for others. He “loved us and gave himself up for us…”

Christ’s walk was the epitome of a worthy walk. He loved his neighbor as himself, “[giving] himself up for us”. And this he did because he loved God supremely. The whole of his life was offered up as a “fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

As I have said, verses 1 and 2 function like a hinge, closing out the previous section and introducing the new. In the whole of life — both in our life  together as the body, and in our life lived out in the world — the Christian is to be an imitator of God and of Christ.  And this imitation of God and of Christ is to be lived out in our thoughts, words and deeds. 

As in the previous passage, Paul provides examples of sinful thoughts, words, and deed, and commands the Christian to avoid them.

Verse 3: “But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.” (Ephesians 5:3–4, ESV)

“Sexual immorality and all impurity” are sinful behaviors that are to be avoided. These are general terms that encompass a wide range of sexual sins and immoral living. Paul says that these sins are not even to be “named among [us], as is proper among saints” — he calls Christian’s “saints”, because they have been made holy by the blood of Christ. The point is this, inmate God in your conduct. Live as the saints that you are. Do what is fitting. I will follow Paul’s lead and refrain from specifically naming the sexually immoral and impure deeds. I trust that you know what they are. I trust that you know from the scriptures how God calls us to live in this world, and how we are to control the passions and appetites of the flesh so that we do what is pleasing to the Lord. I trust that you will, in due time, teach your children what sexual purity is. If you don’t teach them God’s way, the world will certainly teach them theirs. 

“Sexual immorality and impurity” refer to sinful deeds. But “covetousness” is a sin of the heart. We “covet” in the mind with our thoughts. To covet is to have a strong desire to have more and more. To covet is to be discontent with what you have. To covet is to be greedy for gain. The tenth commandment forbids covetousness, saying “And you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. And you shall not desire your neighbor’s house, his field, or his male servant, or his female servant, his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s’” (Deuteronomy 5:21, ESV). Notice that we are forbidden from coveting anything that our neighbor has, and not just his material possessions. Covetousness is a sin that takes place in the heart and mind. Covetousness in the heart and mind will eventually give birth to the other sins that are forbidden in the second table of the law — bearing false witness, theft, adultery and murder. 

Friends, as we pursue holiness — as we see seek to be imitators of God and Christ — it is so very important that we do not forget to keep the mind and heart pure, for our words and deeds flow from the inner man. Covetousness, like un-forgivness, is a deadly cancer to the soul. 

In the place of covetousness we are to put on thanksgiving. Paul says, “but instead let there be thanksgiving.” Thanksgiving is the remedy to covetousness. We are to pray always with thanksgiving. And as we give thanks to God it will, among other things, help to cure the soul of covetousness. Do you wish to be free from the bondage of lust and greed? To you wish to rid yourself of that awful plague of discontentment? Then daily apply the ointment of thankfulness to your soul. 

Brothers and sisters, let us be imitators of God and Christ in thought and deed, but also in word.  And this is what Paul commands next, saying, “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.” (Ephesians 5:4, ESV)

Filthy talk might also be called shameful or obscene talk. The world listens to you speak. Your family listens to you speak. Does your speech reflect the reality that you are a child of God? Or is your speech filthy and shameful?  

Foolish talk is talk that is base and stupid. What do we spend our time talking about? Do we spend our time talking about worthless and foolish things? Or do we spend our words on things that are weighty and of significance? Those who have been redeemed by God and adopted as sons to an eternal inheritance have meaningful things to talk about. Let us spend our words talking about things that matter, building one another up, and giving all glory to God.  

Crude joking is vulgar and unwholesome talk that is intended to incite laughter. Being funny should not be the supreme objective of our lives, leading us to impure talk. Rather, our supreme desire should be to honor God in thought word and deed. If God has blessed you with a sense of humor, then use it to the glory of his name. 

Our words should be used, above all, to give thanks to God. “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving” (Ephesians 5:4, ESV). The word translated as “thanksgiving” is εὐχαριστία. Perhaps that word sounds familiar to you. Very early in the  history  of the church the Lord’s Supper came to be called the Eucharist, for it is here at the Supper that we, among other things, give thanks to God. 

And please notice how often then scriptures exhort us to give thanks to God with our words. It is such a crucial part of the Christian life. I will not site every passage where this word εὐχαριστία appears. But listen to these: 

Philippians 4:6: “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

Colossians 2:6–7: “Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.” 

Colossians 4:2: “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” 

Someone recently asked me, where in the Lord’s Prayer are we prompted to give thanks to God? After all none of the petitions specifically say that we are to give thanks. The answer, I think, is that we are to give thanks throughout the Lord’s Prayer and in every petition. Thanksgiving to God is to permeate all of our prayers. In fact, thanksgiving is to permeate all of our worship, and all of our living. This is why Paul, after talking about thanksgiving, says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31, ESV).

[Friends are you striving to imitate God in your life? Are you striving to be like Christ, who was and is Immanuel, God with us? Are you walking in love? Are you honoring the Lord in thought, word and deed? The world is watching, friends. The world is listening? Are you living a life of gratitude to the glory of God? We had better, for it is unfitting for a child of God to live like a child of the Evil One. ]

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Warning: Those Who Live In Sin Have No Inheritance In The Kingdom Of Christ

And this is why Paul offers a stern warning in verse 5, saying, “For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God” (Ephesians 5:5, ESV). 

It would be good for us to let these words sink in. 

Perhaps it would be best for us to first of all notice what this verse does not say. It does not say that anyone who sins “has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God”. God’s children do struggle with sin. The rest of the scriptures make this abundantly clear. One of the more directs statements concerning this fact is found in I John 1:8,  which reads,“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us” (1 John 1:8–10, ESV). True Christians do sin, and they are to repent when they do. 

So what does Paul say? He wants us to be sure of this: “that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God” (Ephesians 5:5, ESV). This is not a description of a chid of God who has stumbled into sin and has turned from that sin to walk with Christ once more. This is not a description of one who’s walk is more or less worthy, who has slipped up in some way. Instead, this is a reference to one who is sexually immoral, impure and covetous. This is who they are, for this is their constant walk. The one who walks in “sexually immorality, impurity or  covetous, has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.” 

Stated differently, though one might profess faith in Christ and bear the name Christian, if their walk is characterized by sin, then they should not expect to inherit life everlasting in the presence of God.

This warning from Paul reminds me of a warning that Christ himself delivered, saying, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness’” (Matthew 7:21–23, ESV).

Those who profess faith in Christ, who call him Lord, and then go on to live a lawlessness life of disobedience in thought, word, and deed should not expect to be received by the Lord on the last day, but to be cast out by him and judged for all eternity.    

So are we saved by our obedience, then?

Certainly not! We are saved by the merits of Christ alone, and this salvation is received by faith alone!

But here is another truth — those who are saved by Christ will also live a life characterized by obedience to him, for they have been changed. 

How do we know that we are saved, then? How do we rest assured that we truly belong to Christ given our continual struggle with sin?

The answer is twofold: 

One, we grow in our sense of assurance concerning our salvation as we continue to fix our eyes upon Christ crucified and risen and grow  in our knowledge of  the objective and unshakable truths communicated in the gospel. Though all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are deserving in his wrath, salvation is found in Jesus Christ. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16, ESV). We grow in our sense of assurance as we fix our minds upon these objective truths, understand them, and believe them sincerely.

Two, we grow in our sense of assurance concerning our salvation as we live in obedience to Christ and walk worthily. Obedient living is evidence of a regenerated spirit. Obedient living is the fruit of a changed heart. Obediently living is fitting for one who is truly a child of God. Subjectively, we come to know that we know Christ as we keep his commandments. And this is what John teaches in I John 2:3-6, saying, “And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. Whoever says ‘I know him’ but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked” (1 John 2:3–6, ESV).

[APPLIOCATION: I suppose the application is two fold. One, if you claim to be in Christ and yet are living a life characterized by sexual immorality, impurity, and covetousness, then do not be so sure. Instead, “you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God” (Ephesians 5:5, ESV). If you are currently living in sin, are you truly saved? Well, who knows! And  that is the point! God knows! But you do not, for your way of life is contradicting your profession of faith. And those around you will not be sure either, for they know the words of Christ, that “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” May this uncertainty (if you have it) have this a

affect upon you — may it be used by the Lord to draw you to true faith and repentance. 

Two, if you claim to be in Christ and have noticed a change — if your life is now characterized by holy living, where it was once characterized by impurity — then take comfort in this. See that it is an evidence that you have indeed been made new. No one is perfect, friends. Far from it. But you know the difference, I’m sure, between a life characterized by unrepentant sin and life devoted to obedience to the Lord. 

It is very difficult to preach on the subject of assurance because of the diversity that exists within Christ’s church as it pertains to sensitivity to sin. It may be that some are self-righteous and self-assured. These think little of their sin and may in fact have erred on the side of false assurance. But there are others — and in my experience, many more — who judge themselves too harshly. These fixate upon every sinful thought, word and deed and are driven to doubt and despair, thinking to themselves, how can I possibly be saved?! Look to Christ, my friends. Consider his finished work on the cross, and trust in him. And consider both God’s law and also his gospel. Both law and gospel need to be applied to the soul. The law must slay us so that we see our sin and abandon all hope in self-righteousness. And then the gospel must point us to Christ the Savior.]

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Have No Partnership With Those Who Walk In Darkness

Finally, in verse 6-14 Paul warns us to have no partnership with those who walk in darkness. Let us briefly consider these verses. 

Verse 6: “Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience” (Ephesians 5:6, ESV). “These things” — what things? Here Paul is refering  back to sins previously mentioned. Because of these things — the sins of the world — “the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.” Notice that there are sons of God, and there are sons of disobedience — these two. The wrath of God will be poured out upon the sons of disobedience. Anyone who tells you otherwise is seeking to “deceive you with empty words”.  Don’t let it happen. There is a  God in heaven.  He is the judge.He will pour out his wrath on all sin at the end of time. Even now, his wrath is set upon the sons of disobedience.

Verse 7: “Therefore do not become partners with them”. Notice Paul does not say, have nothing to do with them. Instead he says,  “do not become partners with them” — do not link arms with them and participate in their ways. Why would you?! Why would you  closely ally with those upon whom the wrath of God rests?

Paul continues, saying, “for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:7–10, ESV). Notice here that Paul does not say for at one time you walked in darkness, but rather, “for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.” Paul is once again drawing our attention to the transformation that has taken place within us. And beaus of this transformation — because we  were once darkness but are now light in the Lord —he says, “walk as children of light.” In other words, live according to what you now are!

And what fruit will walking according to the light produce? Things “good and right and true.” Perhaps you have noticed that a godly life produces things that are good and right and true? This does not mean that the godly will not suffer. Christ suffered. His Apostles suffered. He  has warned us that we will suffer  in this world. But even in the midst of suffering the fruit of a worthy walk are things good and right and true. And the opposite is true of a dark walk. The fruit of sin is division, confusion, chaos and death.  

And  so Paul again warns in verse 11: “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.” (Ephesians 5:11–12, ESV)

The works of darkness are called “unfruitful” not because they do not produce anything, but because what they produce is death, and not life. 

The child of God is to take “no part” in these works of darkness. This should cause us to stop, think and ask, have I made a clean break with sin? Or do I still fool around with it? Do I still associate with those who walk in darkness? Again, the scriptures do not say, have nothing at all to do with the unbelieving world. But certainly we should  not  partner with those who live in  sin nor participate with them.  

Instead, the child God is to expose them. This means that sin is to be rebuked. The law of God is to be applied so that those living in sin know that they are living in sin.  And after the law is applied, the gospel is also to be proclaimed. But how can the child of God possibly expose or rebuke sin if he our she is in some way participating in the same? First, we must make a clean break with the unfruitful works of darkness, and then we are to expose them. 

The words of Christ apply here: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:1–5, ESV).

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Conclusion

Holy living is the thing that Paul is here calling us to. Be holy,  as your heavenly Father is holy. Do not be deceived, no one who lives in unrepentant sin will inherit the kingdom of God. For those who have been made holy by the shed blood of Christ will also live holy before him, and before the world. And one of the things that holy living will do is expose the sins of others. God willing, this will lead to their repentance as the law convicts of sin, and as the gospel  of Jesus Christ is proclaimed, which announces that in  him we have the forgiveness of sins and the promise of life everlasting.  

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Comments Off on Sermon: Ephesians 5:1-14: Walk In Love Posted by Joe

Old Testament Reading: Psalm 37:1–11

“Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land. In just a little while, the wicked will be no more; though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there. But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace.” (Psalm 37:1–11, ESV)

New Testament Reading: Ephesians 4:25-32

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:25–32, ESV)

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[Please excuse any and all typos and misspellings within this manuscript. It has been published online for the benefit of the saints of Emmaus Reformed Baptist Church, but without the benefit of proofreading.] 

Introduction

The question, how will we be changed? is at the very heart of the passage that we are considering today. In fact, this question has been the concern of the Apostle ever since he utter the words, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called…” (Ephesians 4:1, ESV). Walk worthy? What does a worthy walk look like? And how will it be that those who once walked in darkness will be changed so that they now walk in the light of Christ? As you know, men and women do not easily change their ways, and yet in Christ, change is expected. In fact, it is unthinkable that one who has faith in Christ would continue to walk according to the way of the world. But how will this change be brought about?

In 4:7-16 we learned, among other things, that God will use the external means of the preaching and teaching of scripture to change his people so that they walk worthily.

In 4:17-24 we learned that a worthy walk will proceed from a regenerated spirit. This principle is so very important to understand. The one who has faith in Christ will certainly change his or her ways because they themselves have been changed — they have been recreated and are being renewed by the word of God and by the power of the Holy Spirit. A new way of life is inevitable then. The Christian’s new way of life is the natural byproduct of the new life that has been wrought in them by the free grace of God, and by the agency of his Spirit. Elsewhere Paul exhorts the Christian saying, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2, ESV). And in another place he says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17, ESV). Our obedience to Christ proceeds from a regenerated spirit. Our obedience to Christ proceeds from a renewed mind — a mind renewed by the Spirit of God and the word of God.  

Now, if this were all that the Apostle had to say about the sanctification of the believer then I suppose one might conclude that the only thing for the Christian to do would be to hear the scriptures and to pray. In other words, if it were true that transformation is brought about only through the renewal of the mind by the scriptures, and by the regenerating and renewing work of the Spirit, then the child of God would need only to ingest the scriptures and to pray that God would, by his grace, renew them in the inner man. But the Apostle has more to say. He also exhorts the believer to put off the old self and to put on the new.

[APPLICATION: Friends, I hope that you pray. I hope that you pray often and fervently requesting, among other things, that the Lord would, by his grace, transform your heart and renew your mind. This is, in fact, one of the things that we are to pray for under the  third petition of the Lord’s Prayer. When we pray, “Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven” we are praying “that God by His grace, would make us able and willing to know, obey, and submit to His will in all things, as the angels do in heaven ”  (Baptist Catechism 110). Make us able and willing to obey you Lord! In other words, transform our hearts and renew our minds so that we willingly and happily keep your commandments, Lord!

And friends, I hope that you are committed to hearing the scriptures, knowing that God will use his word to transform our minds. Read the scriptures for yourselves. Listen to word read and preached. Memorize the scriptures and meditate upon them. This is one of the means that God will use to change his people. 

But having prayed, and having faithfully received God’s holy word, do not neglect this most important thing: rise up and obey. Decide to daily and momentarily put off the old man, and to put on the new, which is yours in Christ Jesus. Devote yourself  to a life of that is holy. Friends, this the thing that is so often neglected: obedience, pure and simple. Yes, God must change you by his word. Yes, God has recreated you, and he is renewing you even still by his Spirit. Never will we move away from full and entire dependence upon the grace of God in the Christian life, therefore. But we must also simply choose to obey him.      

As the Apostle James says it beautifully: “be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing” (James 1:22–25, ESV). And here also Paul, after teaching that a worthy walk can only proceed from a renewed spirit, exhorts the believer to diligently put off the old self, and to put on the new.]

Notice that in the passage that is before us today we encounter a slew of imperatives or commands. At first glance they might seem to be random. But upon closer examination we find that they are commands relating to our thinking, speaking and doing. The point is this: the Christian, having been recreated and renewed by the grace of God, is to obey God in thought, word and deed.

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Worthy Speech

First of all, consider Paul’s command regarding our speaking. The Christian’s worthy walk is to involve worthy speech. In verse 25 Paul says, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another” (Ephesians 4:25, ESV). 

The one who has been recreated in Christ is to put away falsehood.

Falsehood takes many forms. Most obviously the Christian is to cease from lying. The one who has been recreated and renewed in Christ is to obey the ninth commandment which says, “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” But we must learn to think more broadly about the ninth commandment, and also this exhortation from the Apostle to put away falsehood. 

Not only is the Christian is to cease from uttering bold faced lies. We are also to put away, to quote our catechism, “whatsoever is prejudicial to truth, or injurious to our own, or our neighbor’s good name.” We are to put away flattery, gossip and slander, therefore. We are to put away all forms of manipulation. We are to cease from any and all distortions of the truth.

But pay careful attention to this: the Apostle does not only exhort the Christian to put something off or away, but to put something new on in it’s place. That is the pattern that runs throughout this passage. The one who has been recreated and renewed in Christ is to put off the old self, “and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24, ESV).

And what is the Christian to put on in the place of falsehood? Paul says, “let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” 

Once again, we should learn to think more broadly about truth telling. Paul is not only commanding us to “not lie”, but to also commit ourselves to promoting the truth with one another. These two things — not lying and telling the truth — should not be conflated. It is possible to not lie, but to also fail to also fail to promote the truth by remaining silent. Many live this way. They are not liers, but neither are the ambassadors of truth. Paul forbids this way of life. Negatively, the Christian is to “put away falsehood”. And positively, the Christian is also, “to speak the truth with his neighbor”. Why? “For we are members one of another”, he says. This statement corresponds to what Paul said back in 4:15 where he exhorted us to “[speak] the truth in love…” Truth builds up. Truth is light to our path. We are speak the truth in love. We are to speak the truth for mutual edification, “for we are members one of another” within Christ’s church. 

This exhortation to from the Apostle to speak the truth is in fact what the ninth commandment requires. Our catechism puts it beautifully  in question 82, which asks, “What is required in the ninth commandment?” The answer is that “the ninth commandment requireth the maintaining and promoting of truth between man and man, and of our own and our neighbor’s good name, especially in witness bearing.”

[APPLICATION: And so I ask you, Christian, now that you have been recreated and are being renewed in Christ, are you committed “maintaining and promoting of truth between man and man”? Certainly this includes putting away falsehood. But it also involves speaking the truth with your neighbor. Doing this well requires wisdom and tactfulness. Some might succeed in speaking the truth, but forget to do it in love. And notice also that Paul does not command us here to promote our opinions. We must learn to distinguish between “truth” and “opinion”, and that is not always easy. But are you committed to putting away falsehood and speaking the truth with your neighbor as Paul here commands?]  

The broader principle being established is this: now that we have been renewed in Christ we are to use our words, not for evil, but only for good. We are to put away all forms of falsehood, and we are to speak the truth. Put off the old self, put on new.  

In verse 29 we find another statement pertaining to the tongue. There Paul says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29, ESV). I would encourage you to put  this one to memory. 

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths…”, the Apostle says. “Corrupting talk” is talk that is unwholesome and harmful. The word translated as “corrupting” has to do with that which causes decay. Don’t let any decaying words proceed from your mouth, the Apostle says. And notice that he does not give exceptions. He does not say, unless the other person is wrong, or really has it coming, or unless you are really angry, tired or hungry. He does not say, unless you are joking, or sarcastic. No, he says “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths…”

And this is contrasted with the phrase, “…but only such as is good for building up…” So, put off corrupting talk, and put on constructive talk in its place. Lay aside talk that breaks down, and take up talk that builds up.

And lest we think that the Apostle is forbidding firm and confrontational speech, he adds the phrase, “…as fits the occasion…” There is a time and place for words that are soft and gentle. There are is also a time and place for words that are stong and firm. We must learn to speak in a way that is fitting to the situation. But never should our words break down. The Christian is always speak so as to build up. And this includes those moments where a firm rebuke is fitting. We are to use our words in such a way that they “give grace to those who hear.”

Lastly, look down at verse 31, where we read, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:31, ESV). Clamor refers to loud screaming or shouting. To slander is to speak against someone in such a way so as to damage their reputation. These things are to be put away from the Christian. Instead we are to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave [us]” (Ephesians 4:32, ESV).

[APPLICATION: I am going to ask you to reflect more deeply upon what Paul commands here regarding our speech. Are you walking worthily in your speech? Have you put away lying? Do you speak the truth in love? Have you put away all corrupt talk? And do you build up with your words instead?

Brothers and sisters, please do not forget to “put on” as you go about the business of “putting off”! Please understand this. The Apostle is not only calling you to cease from tearing down with your words. He is also exhorting you to use your words to build others up! 

Think of the good that a husband or wife could do for their spouse if they would not only cease from tearing down with their words but take up the habit of building the other up. Think of the life that would breath into the marriage relationship. Think of how good that would be for the other. And think of the good that mother or father could do for their children if the would not only cease from tearing down with their words but take up the habit of building their children up. Think of the good that siblings would do for one another…  And think of the good that we would do for one another if we would only put aside our old way of speaking, and learn to speak according to the “new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24, ESV).

Friends, this is something you must choose to do. You will be able to do it only because God has created you anew. And you will be able to do only by God’s grace, as he renews you by his word and spirit. But this is something you must choose to do. You must decide to put off the old self, and to put on the new in regard to your speech.]

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Worth Thoughts

Secondly, consider Paul’s command regarding our thoughts. Not only is the Christian to walk worthy in regard to speech, but is also to maintain a holy thought life. Indeed, our words and actions do not proceed from us spontaneously, but emerge from the inner man. How vital it is, therefore, to take every thought and emotion captive to obey Christ. 

In verse 26 we read these words: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26–27, ESV)

Friends, anger is not a sin. Christ himself experienced the emotion of anger, and rightly so. It is right and good for us to feel the emotion of anger when we encounter that which is contrary to God’s law. Sin should anger us. Oppression should anger us. Injustice should anger us. 

Please pay careful attention here. The verb translated as “be angry” at the beginning of verse 26 is in the imperative mood. It is a command. It is right for us to be angry provided that we are angry about the right things. There is righteous anger, and there is unrighteous anger. 

Anger is sinful when it is in response to the wrong thing. Often times we are angered, not because God’s will has been violated, but because we didn’t get our way! This is unrighteous anger. 

Anger is sinful when it moves us to rage. It seems to me that this is what Paul has in mind when he says, “Be angry and do not sin”. In other words, be angry about things that are sinful and unjust, but do not allow that righteous emotion to drive you to rage. Rage is anger that has exploded out of control. Anger may be righteous. Rage is never righteous. “Be angry and do not sin”.

And anger is sinful when turns to bitterness within the heart. If rage is anger that has exploded out of control, bitterness is anger that has been allowed  to fester like a slow burning fire.  A Christian must never allow anger, even if it is righteous anger, to turn into bitterness. And this is what Paul is concerned to guard against when he says, “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” If someone or something has angered you, and if it is right that you are angry, you must not explode with anger, but neither are you to allow that anger to burn slowly, to fester, and to result in bitterness. Instead, you must deal with the issue appropriately, whatever it is. And having dealt with the issue appropriately, you are to forgive from the heart. If the person repents, forgivness is to be  transacted with the word, “I forgive you”. If repentance is not expressed, even still we are to forgive from the heart, and leave it to the wrath of God. “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord’” (Romans 12:19, ESV).

Paul revisits this theme in verse 31 where he says most directly, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:31, ESV). Notice the words bitterness, wrath and anger. These are all emotions that are felt. These reside within the inner man, within the heart and mind. And Paul is commanding the Christian to put them away! 

The word “bitterness” refers to intense resentment or hate. 

The word “wrath” refers to intense anger characterized by outbursts. 

The word “anger” in this context must have the sense of fury. 

These passions are to be put away from the believer. And place of these we are to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, ESV)

“Kind” might also be translated as gracious.

“Tenderhearted”means that we are to be compassionate and affectionate. 

You are to forgive, just as God in Christ has forgiven you. 

Put off the old self, friends. And put on the new. This must done even within the inner man. It will not do to change our words  and our deeds, for these proceed from the heart. We must put away bitterness, wrath and anger. 

And  pay careful attention to Paul’s warning, where he says, “…give no opportunity to the devil…” The word opportunity might also be translated as “place” or “foothold”. When we fail to honor Christ in the inner man — when we allow our thoughts and emotions to go unchecked and to run afoul — we give the evil one territory where he is able to gain a foothold in our lives.

If you allow bitterness, wrath and anger to reside within you, you give the evil one a foothold in your heart. And if he has a foothold in your heart, he has a foothold in your marriage, your family and within the church.  Don’t give him an opportunity, friends. Don’t surrender an inch oof territory to him. Drive him out completely by keeping your heart  pure. “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31–32, ESV)

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Worthy Deeds

Thirdly and lastly, consider Paul’s command regarding our deeds. Not only is the Christian to walk worthy in regard to thought and word, but also in deed. Paul address this in verse  28 where he says, “Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need” (Ephesians 4:28, ESV).

Our new life in Christ is to manafest itself in a new way of life. Instead of living for self, the Christians to live for the good others. And the transformation of the thief who takes from others into the worker who gives serves as an example of this.

And by the way, I think this is what is going on throughout this passage. Paul is concerned to say, in general, walk worthy.Put of toehold self, and put on the new. Do this in thought, word and deed. And instead of listing every sin of the mind, mouth and action, he  put’s forth examples.  Put away falsehood — speak what is true instead. Put away bitterness and rage — forgive from a tender heart instead. Put away thievery — do honest and productive work so that you might give instead. Many more examples could be given of thoughts, words and deeds that are to be put away, and thoughts, words and deeds that are to be put on in their place, but Paul mentions only these. The function as examples,  therefore. And what do all of these sins have in common? They take from others and the tear down. They do not give or build up. Falsehood robs others of the truth and is damages reputations. Truth edifies. It builds up. Bitterness and wrath are destructive wherever they are present. Kindness, graciousness and forgiveness build up. Thievery only takes from others — it gives nothing in return. But the one who does honest and productive works earns his wage and provides a product or serve to another. And this enables the worker to the share with those who are truly in need. Instead of taking from others, the regenerated thief should be eager to give. 

Thievery takes many forms. A thief will sometimes take from others by force. At other times the thief will take by deceit or through manipulation. Whatever the means, the thief takes from others, but does not give. A thief might work very hard at his thievery, but he does not engage in work, properly speaking. 

To work is to offer a service to others in exchange for a wage. Work takes many forms. But all work has this in common — it gives before it gets. Some kind of service is rendered, before compensation is received.   

The Christian must put away all forms of thievery. The Christian must abandon the practice of procuring wealth by means of taking from others, be it by force, by trickery or the manipulation of others. And in the place of the thievery the Christian is to work  with his own hands so that he might have something to share  with those in need. 

And not only is the Christian to engage in work, but “honest work”. Honest work is the standard for the Christian. There are some activities that might in fact qualify as work — a good or service might in fact be exchanged for a wage — but the work falls short of honest work. The drug dealer is in fact compensated for providing a product to others. I suppose that the what he does might indeed be called work, but it is not good or honest work. It is not productive work, for the product he provides leads to destruction, and not to the building up of others. 

[APPLICATION: Brothers and sisters, we should think about the work that do and ask, is it honest work? First, is work? Are we in fact being compensated by providing a good or service for others. And secondly, is it good, honest and productive work? Does it build others up somehow? 

Are there situations where it is appropriate for Christians to cease from work? I say, yes. 

In the case of mental or physical disability, for example. The Christians who has ceased from work for these reasons need not feel guilty.  Paul is here presenting the general truth that Christians are to work. They are to serve others with their time and energy. If it is true of you that you have  ceased from work due to mental or physical ailment, I would encourage you to use your time and energy to serve others. And in so doing you will fulfill the spirit of what the Apostle is here commanding. Retirement is also a valid reason to cease from work. 

Retirement is a benefit that the worker has earned over time. But I would exhort the Christian who is retired to never retire from the service of others. Use your time and energy, not to serve self, but to serve others. Serve others in prayer. Find ways to meet needs within Christ’s church, and to build others up. In so doing you will fulfill the spirit of what the Apostle here commands.

To the parent who does not earn a wage, but stays at home to devote time to raising children, I say that your efforts are of great importance. Knowing when it is time for a parent to work outside the home requires wisdom and will differ from situation to situation. Again I  say, parents who are blessed to cease from work, use your time and energy to serve others. In so doing you will fulfill the spirit of what the Apostle here commands.

And what is the spirit of what the Apostle here commands? The one who has been recreated in Christ is no longer to live for themselves, but for others. The thief is the epitope of one who lives for himself — he  takes and takes, but does not give. This way of life, whatever form it takes, must be put away. And in its place the Christians is to “labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need” (Ephesians 4:28, ESV).

To you brothers and sisters who are stuck in a job that is less than ideal or satisfying to you, I would encourage you look for another job. But in the meantime, I would  urge you to see that what you are doing is good — indeed, it is very good, so long as the work is honest work — for you are living according the command of scripture. By engaging in honest work you are being a productive member in society while fact providing for yourself and for those under your care.  This is what God designed us to do when he made us in his image. Now that we are fallen, work is arduous (the ground produces thorns and thistles). But is good to engage in honest work — work that serves others — work that is productive — work that builds up. 

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Conclusion

There is one little phrase that I have left off for the conclusion. It is probably the most famous phrase in this passage, and it is of great importance. Paul urges the believer to put off the old self, and to put on the new in thought, word and deed, so  that we “do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom [we] were sealed for the day of redemption”. 

Here in this little phrase the Apostle directs our thoughts back to the central issue — if you are in Christ you have been recreated by the power of the Holy Spirit. You have been sealed by him. This means that he has put his mark on you. You belong to God. And God will bring you safely home. He has guaranteed it with the sealing  of the Holy Spirit. Water baptism is the visible sign of this. And, having been redeemed by Christ, and belonging now to God, we are to live for him in this world as members of his family, as citizens of his kingdom, and as a part of the new humanity that has been brought into existence by the work of the crucified and risen Son of God.  Having been called by God to have faith in Christ, we are to now walk worthy. And when we fail to walk worthy — when we fail to lay aside the the old self and to put on the new — the Spirit of God is grieved within us. 

Now, of course the Spirit is not grieved, properly speaking, for God does not change. He is not moved by anything external to himself — he does not experience the passions of man. But we feel the affect of the Spirit’s grief. When we walk in the darkness the Spirit of God is “depressed” within us, and we feel the affects of it. And when we walk in the light the Spirit of God is “overjoyed” within us, and we feel the affects of it. 

Stated differently, the Spirit chastens us when we sin. He withdraws the joyous light of his countenance. And the Spirit rejoices within us when we obey the Lord in thought, word and deed. “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.” (Psalm 1:1–3, ESV)

Tags: Ephesians 4:25-32

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