Oct 18
21
Old Testament Reading: Genesis 2:24-25
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:24–25, ESV)
New Testament Reading: Revelation 21:1–5
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.’ And he who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’ Also he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.’” (Revelation 21:1–5, ESV)
Introduction
Brothers and sisters, I would like to take some time now to give attention to the topic of marriage. My plan (as of today) is to devote seven sermons to the topic of marriage, divorce and remarriage.
Remember that I did something similar with the doctrine of the Sabbath. The creation narrative of Genesis 1 concluded by making mention of the Sabbath Day (Genesis 2:1-3). And after moving through the text of Genesis 1 verse by verse, I devoted 8 sermons to the doctrine of the Sabbath.
Notice that something similar happens in the creation narrative of Genesis 2. There we find a description of God’s creative activities with special attention given to the creation of the man and woman, and then the narrative concludes by making mention of the marriage covenant.
Isn’t it interesting that both the creation narrative of Genesis 1 and the creation narrative of Genesis 2 conclude with institutions. After creating the heavens and the earth, God instituted the Sabbath. And after creating man, male and female – and having entered into covenant with man – God instituted the marriage covenant.
I would suggest to you that this pattern is deliberate. It seems that the Sabbath command brings the creation narrative of Genesis 1 to a conclusion because the Sabbath functions as a sign of God’s creation of the heavens and earth and of the promise of eternal rest held out to the man who was made in his image. And so too the marriage covenant brings to conclusion the creation narrative of Genesis 2 because it functions as a sign of God’s covenantal relationship with his people. The Sabbath command and the marriage covenant, though they differ greatly from one another, share this in common: they signify or symbolize for all humanity truths concerning God and his relationship to man. Whenever the Sabbath day is properly observed something is symbolized concerning God’s relationship with his people. And whenever marriage is properly entered into something is symbolized concerning God’s relationship with his people.
I’ll leave it to you to think more about this. If I go any further this introduction will turn into a sermon all its own. For now I will simply say that I think it is appropriate for us to tease out the topic of marriage now that the principle has been introduced to us in Genesis 2:24-25 just as we teased out the topic of the Sabbath after it was introduced to us in Genesis 2:1-3. Both the Sabbath day and the marriage relationship were instituted by God at creation, they are for all humanity, and they are symbolic institutions.
Please note that the marriage relationship was instituted by God. God is the one who created the marriage relationship. He established it in the beginning when he created the first man and the first women and joined them together as husband and wife. I hope you are able to recognize how foundational this idea is: the marriage relationship was instituted by God.
You have noticed, no doubt, that people are very confused about marriage in this culture. There was a time when the majority of the population actually agreed that marriage was a covenant into which one man and one woman would enter for life. Things are different now. The popular view today is that two men may marry, or two women. Why it is that polygamy or polyandry is still taboo, I’m not entirely sure. I would imagine that it is only a matter of time before this is also tolerated – that is, unless God intervenes. Notice also that divorce is much more common and accepted within our culture today. People are very confused about the institution of marriage.
But I want you to recognize that all of the differences of opinion that exist within our culture concerning marriage can be traced back to a more fundamental question, namely, where did the marriage institution come from? How did this thing that we call marriage come to be?
Many in our culture would say that the institution of marriage came from man. In other words, marriage is the product of societal evolution. A long time ago, someone, somewhere decided that it would be beneficial for man and for society to have this institution that we call “marriage”. Marriage, according to this view, arose spontaneously from the ooze of humanity.
But what does the Christian say? Our view is that the institution of marriage came from God. God created the marriage relationship. God is the originator of marriage, and he, therefore, is also the orderer of marriage.
It should not be difficult to see how these differences of opinion regarding the origins of marriage produce all of the other differences of opinion that exist within our culture.
If the marriage institution was created by man, then man is also free to regulate it. If marriage is the product of societal evolution, then we should expect that the institution will undergo constant change. For many within our culture the legalization of gay marriage is viewed as progress. It fits perfectly with their presuppositions concerning the origins of the institution. They applaud the legalization of gay marriage because they have first believed that the marriage institution came from man and is constantly evolving. Who is authorized to decided what marriage is? Man is, according to this view!
But if marriage was instituted by God in the beginning – if it was designed by him – then we should not expect nor desire that it be changed. The Christian does not say, how might we improve this thing called marriage? but instead, Oh, Lord, help us to conform our marriages to your will. If God is the originator of the marriage institution, he is also the orderer of it. Our place is not to create new ways, but to conform our lives to the ways that our Creator has established.
Do you want to have a marriage that gives glory to God? Do you want to have a marriage that is truly right and good? Do you want a marriage that is blessed of God? Then to his word we must go! We must begin by asking, what have you said, Lord, concerning marriage? And after that we must say, Lord, help us to conform our lives to your most holy word.
What do we learn about the marriage relationship when we look to the pages of Holy Scripture? I have three foundational observations. One, marriage is a covenant. Two, marriage is for the glory of God. And three, marriage is for the good of humanity. I will elaborate on the first of these today and return to the last two next Sunday, Lord willing.
First of all, marriage is a covenant.
It is, to quote one author, “a lifelong covenant of companionship between a man and a woman that has been established under God and before the community” (Newheiser, Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage, 6).
To enter into a covenant is to make a solemn promise. To enter into a covenant is a very serious thing. To break a covenant is a grave sin.
Notice that the word “covenant” does not appear in Genesis 2. There we simply read, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, ESV). Clearly it is the marriage relationship that is being described. And though the word “covenant” is not found here, the rest of scripture makes it clear that the marriage relationship is established by way of covenant.
Other passages could be sited, but Malachi 2:14 will suffice. There the prophet is found rebuking the man who has abandoned his wife, saying, “the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant” (Malachi 2:14, ESV). Marriage is a covenant. The relationship is established by making a solemn oath or promise.
I have five points to make concerning the marriage covenant.
One, the marriage covenant is made between one man and one woman.
Last Sunday I read from Mark 10 and that passage where Jesus was being questioned by the Pharisees concerning divorce. And I pointed out how Jesus appealed to this passage here in Genesis 2:24-25 in order to establish God’s ideal for the marriage relationship. Remember how Jesus replied to their questions, saying, “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:6–9, ESV). In due time we will come to consider the topic of divorce and remarriage. For now I simply wish to demonstrate how Jesus himself interpreted the Holy Scriptures. When Jesus considered the narrative of Genesis 2 he understood it to be foundational. He understood that when God created the man and the woman and joined them together in one flesh union, it established a pattern to be followed. Where do we find God’s design for marriage? We find it beginning in Genesis 2.
And what is God’s design for the marriage covenant? His design is that one man and one woman enter into it. It is not right for a man to marry a man. It is not right for a woman to marry a woman. It is not right for a man to marry multiple women. And it is not right for a woman to marry multiple men. All are violations of God’s deign for the marriage relationship. Marriage was instituted at creation. Adam and Eve entered into this covenant. This pattern, therefore, was established for all humanity living in all times and places. Have societies deviated from this design throughout the ages? Indeed they have! But insofar as they deviate from God’s design established at creation we must say that they are in error.
Homosexuality is everywhere condemned as sin in the Holy Scriptures, Old Testament and the New. It should not be difficult to see that homosexual marriages are sinful and are not valid in God’s eyes when compared with the plain teaching of Holy Scripture. They are sinful relationships and they deviate from God design for the marriage covenant.
Do men sometimes feel attracted to other men? Do women sometimes feel attracted to other women? I do not doubt it at all. But this does not mean that it is right to act upon the feeling. What kind of world would we live in if we allowed ourselves to be governed by the rule “if I feel it then it must be ok for me to act upon it”? Even the homosexual would have to admit that they would not want this rule to govern all conduct. Tell me, what would you say to the drunkard who says, “I was born this way?” Would you not lovingly come alongside him and say, “friend, I understand that your desire to drink to the point of drunkenness is very strong, but you must fight against it.” And what would you say to the angry and abusive person who says, “I cannot help it! The feelings of rage are all consuming!” Would you not loving say to her, “friend, I understand that your desire to be given to rage is very strong, but you must fight against it.” What about the adulterer? The liar? The thief? Will you excuse their sin also when they say, “I was born this way”, or “the temptation is just to strong”? You will have compassion, I’m sure. But you will not excuse their sin. Why the different standard when it comes to same sex attraction? God calls homosexual acts sinful. Who are we to disagree with God.
What those who experience same sex attraction need is Christ. Indeed, this is what we all need. We all know what it is to have our affections bent out of shape because of sin. We all know what it is to be tempted to sin. We have all experienced the powerful pull of the world, the flesh and of the evil one himself. No one is immune from this. All have acted upon it. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. All need the Savior. All need to have their sins washed away. All need to be renewed by the word of God and by his Spirit. Oh, that sinners like you and me would come to have faith in Jesus Christ who is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.
Listen to God’s word: “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” Listen carefully to Paul’s words as he wrote to the Christians living in Corinth! He went on to say, “And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:9–11, ESV). “And such were some of you”, he said. You Christians, prior to being “washed… sanctified… and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ”, were those things. You were sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, men who practice homosexuality, thieves, etc., etc.
The scriptures are clear that it is a sin to practice homosexuality. Certainly, God does not view homosexual marriages as valid, for they are sinful relationships, and a distortion of his original design for marriage.
The same may be said of polygamous or polyandrous marriages. They are a distortion of God’s original design.
In the beginning God created one male and one female and joined them together in one flesh union. This is God’s design for marriage. This is the pattern to follow. The two became one in marriage and they were to stick together like glue.
It is interesting to notice that many of the biblical patriarchs and heroes of the faith (so called), entered into polygamous relationships. Think of Abraham, Jacob, and King David, for example. These men took more than one wife. This would not be so difficult to understand if one would simply recognize, first of all, that not everything in the Bible is prescriptive, but is sometimes only descriptive. When the scriptures reveal that Abraham took Hagar as a wife alongside Sarah in his old age it does not mean that it was right, it simply describes what happened. And notice that the narrative itself suggests that it was wrong for him to do so. It was a foolish move, the result of unbelief, and a decision that resulted in much heartache. Abraham in this instance decided to go the way of the world and to act according to human wisdom instead of believing upon and following after his God. The same can be said for Jacob and David. Secondly, we must acknowledge that although there are some things about the lives of the patriarchs that are to be admired and imitated (namely, their eventual faith in the promises of God), the scriptures actually emphasis their sins and shortcomings in order to demonstrate that whatever good came from them was not the result of their own doing, but by the grace of God. Their polygamous marriages would be an example of this – they were wrong, even for them and in that day.
Where do we find God’s ideal for the marriage relationship? Not in the life of Abraham, nor in the present trends within our godless society, but in the Holy Scriptures in general, and at creation in particular. The marriage covenant is to be made between one man and one woman.
Two, the marriage covenant is made under God.
There is a horizontal dimension to marriage, no doubt. A man and woman stand before one another and take vows. But there is also a vertical dimension. The man and woman make their vows before God. Listen again to Malachi 2:14 which says, “the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant” (Malachi 2:14, ESV). And listen again to Jesus’ words in Mark 10. commenting on the Genesis 2 passage, Jesus said, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9, ESV). When a man and women enter into the marriage covenant God is involved. God is witness to the covenant being made. And God is the one who joins the man and women together in one flesh union so that two become one flesh. This is why Jesus offers these words of warning, “what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9, ESV). Those who participate in the undoing of a marriage covenant are in fact undoing a work that God has done. Notice that I did not say, “all who have been divorced” – for there are valid grounds for divorce given in the pages of Holy Scripture, as we will see – but “those who participate in the undoing of a marriage covenant”. These – and I have in mind here the unfaithful husband or wife, the seductive woman or man who draws the spouse away, or those who facilitate the ungodly act – these are in fact fighting against God and should expect his judgement. Lord have mercy on us. The marriage covenant is one made under God.
Three, the marriage covenant is made before others.
I suppose the only exception to this rule would be the wedding of Adam and Eve, for there were no other humans to witness it. I suppose we could say that God and the angels attended their wedding. But throughout the scriptures we do notice that marriage vows would be made before witnesses. Consider the wedding of Ruth and Boaz (Ruth 4). Consider that wedding events in the Bible are described as feasts involving the community. Consider that Christ preformed his first miracle at a wedding in Galilee when he turned water to wine. When we take wedding vows we say them before God and man. Why? In part, because the marriage institution is for the good of society.
The vows that we make in the wedding ceremony are very important, friends. The vows are what communicate the substance of the covenant being entered into. The most important part of the wedding ceremony are the vows. And may I suggest that traditional are the best. I would warn against novelty in the wedding vows. I would also warn against using them as a time for comedy. The wedding vows should be taken seriously. A bride and groom should say something like this to one another in the presence of God and man:
“I take you to be my wedded spouse, and I do promise and covenant before God and these witnesses to be your loving and faithful spouse in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, as long as we both shall live.”
Four, the marriage covenant authorizes sexual intimacy.
Sex outside of the marriage relationship is a distortion of God’s design. Put more bluntly, it is sinful. The world scoffs at this idea, doesn’t it, but the scriptures are clear. And you would think that even the godless would be able to recognize the slew of troubles that come upon men and women when they engage in sex outside of the bonds of marriage.
It is important to recognize that sex does not create the one flesh union that Genesis 2:24 and Mark 10 mention. The joining together of a man and women as one flesh does not happen through intercourse. Instead, it is the marriage covenant that joins a man and woman together as one flesh, and the act of sex is a sign and seal of that union.
The reason that sex outside of the bonds of marriage is sinful is because it is a misuse of God’s gift. Sex is to be enjoyed by a husband and wife. It is symbolizes their union. It aids in their intimacy. It is the means of procreation, which is appropriate for those who have been joined together in marriage. To engage in sex outside of the bounds of marriage is a misuse of the gift of God.
An illustration that a Christian would would understand would be that of the Lord’s Supper. Who should partake of the Lord’s Supper? The one who has faith in Christ should partake. Partaking of the Supper does not unite us to Christ – faith does. Instead, the Lord’s Supper is a sign of the covenantal and spiritual bond that exists between Christ and his people. It is highly inappropriate for someone who does not have faith in Christ, who has not been united covenantally and spiritually to Christ, to partake of the Supper, therefore. They are receiving the sign without the having the substance of the thing signified. It is a misuse of the gift of God. And so it is with sex outside the marriage covenant. It is to partake of the sign apart from the substance. It is a profaning of that which is holy.
This is why Paul, when speaking against sex outside the bounds of marriage says, “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh” (1 Corinthians 6:16, ESV). His point is that sexual intimacy is appropriate only for those who have been wed.
Five, the marriage is a covenant is to last until death.
In time we will come to talk about divorce and remarriage. The scriptures do say that there are valid grounds for divorce. Specifically, they are adultery and abandonment. In the case of adultery and abandonment divorce is permitted. We will come to deal with these things carefully in the weeks to come. Today I am making the more foundational observation that God’s ideal for the marriage relationship is that it last for life.
Remember the definition of the marriage covenant that was given earlier. Marriage “a lifelong covenant of companionship between a man and a woman that has been established under God and before the community” (Newheiser, Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage, 6).
That the marriage convent is to last for life is also heard in the traditional vows which conclude with the words, “as long as we both shall live.”
And this was Jesus’ perspective also. When the Pharisees were asking him when divorce was permissible he decided to set forth the ideal for marriage when he said, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9, ESV).
This was Jesus’ interpretation of the passage that is before us in Genesis 2:24, which says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, ESV).
Jesus’ understanding of Genesis 2:24 was that it set forth God’s ideal for marriage. And God’s ideal is that a husband and wife would break with the household they were raised in, would establish their own household, and having been made one flesh, would stick to one another like glue. The word translated in the ESV as “hold fast” means “cling to, to join with, to stay with.”
God’s design is that marriage be permeant. And how important it is for this to be said. It is important for those who hope to marry in the future to hear this. They need to understand now, and not after the fact, that when the stand before God and man to take their wedding vows they are not saying, “well, we will see how it goes.” No! They are making a promise – they are taking a vow – to be “loving and faithful” to the one standing opposite them for life. This they will do “in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, as long as we both shall live.” This is important for those who hope to marry in the future to hear. And it is also important for those who are married now to hear. It is good to for them to be reminded of these things.
The trouble is that many do not mean what they say when they take their wedding vows. With their mouths they say I will be “loving and faithful, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow”, but in their hearts they mean “I’ll stick around so long as you fulfill me. I’ll be faithful so long as things go well. I’ll remain so long as you make me happy.” Lord help us. In the marriage covenant we are vowing to be loving and faithful to other, even if things don’t go well.
Application
Do you see that there is a connection between God’s covenantal relationship with his people and the covenant of marriage? Marriage is to function as a picture of God’s covenantal faithfulness to his people. Is your marriage a picture of covenantal faithfulness?
What is it that holds your marriage together? Will it last so long as you feel satisfied? Or will it last because you have made a promise?
Are you selfless or selfish in your marriage? Do you look at your spouse and think, “I hope he or she pleases me today?” Or do you think, “I hope that I might please him or her”?
To those not married who hope to wed in the future, I hope that you would agree that it is important for you to understand marriage before entering into it.
May God be glorified in our marriages. May the love of Christ be displayed as we serve one another and extend grace to one another in Jesus’ name.
