Pre-Marital Counseling

Session 1

Introduction To Premarital Counseling

DISCUSSION
  1. Describe how you met.
  2. What led you to the conclusion that you should marry?
  3. Describe your upbringing and your parents’ marriage relationship.
    In what ways do you think your upbringing will aid you in marriage?
    In what ways might it hinder you?
  4. Describe your faith. Do you and you fiancé share similar beliefs?
  5. What do you anticipate being the most difficult aspect of marriage?
  6. What about marriage do you most look forward to?
  7. Are you both committed to pursuing holiness during the engagement?
  8. What do you hope to get out of premarital counseling?
HOMEWORK
Read the Introduction and chapters 1-5 in “Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage”, by Jim Newheiser.
Discuss the “Questions for Reflection” at the end of each chapter with your fiancé.
Look ahead to the discussion questions for session 2 so that you might come prepared.

Session 2

The Foundations Of Marriage

DISCUSSION
  1. Chapter 1: What is Marriage?
    1. What impacted you the most in this chapter?
    2. Define marriage.
    3. What are the basic elements of the marriage covenant that God established from creation?
    4. How could the proper understanding of the nature of marriage help a couple to enjoy a more successful marriage?
    5. What is the primary purpose of marriage?
  2. Chapter 2: Why Did God Create the Institution of Marriage?
    1. What impacted you the most in this chapter?
    2. How does marriage bring glory to God?
    3. How is marriage for our good?
  3. Chapter 3: What Constitutes a Valid Marriage?
    1. What impacted you the most in this chapter?
    2. Do you have any questions about this chapter?
HOMEWORK
Read the Introduction and chapters 6-10 in “Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage”, by Jim Newheiser.
Discuss the “Questions for Reflection” at the end of each chapter with your fiancé.
Fill out Monthly Cash Flow Plan.
Apply for marriage license. Information is available here.
Begin to think about the wedding ceremony in general, and your vows in particular.
Please see a sample wedding ceremony with traditional vows here.

Session 3

Entering Into Marriage

DISCUSSION
  1. What impacted you the most in chapters 6 through 10?
    Do you have any questions or disagreements with what you read in these chapters?
  2. Do you believe that you are financially ready for marriage (based upon your monthly cash flow plan)?
  3. What issues should be resolved during courtship/the engagement?
    Let’s work through the ten question located near to the end of chapter 9 (pages 65-69).
  4. Have you applied for a marriage license?
  5. Did you look over the sample wedding ceremony? Is there anything special?
HOMEWORK
Read chapters 11-15 in “Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage”, by Jim Newheiser.
Discuss the “Questions for Reflection” at the end of each chapter with your fiancé.
Apply for marriage license, if you have not already.

Session 4

Having A Successful Marriage

DISCUSSION
  1. Chapter 11: What Is the Key to Keeping a Marriage Strong?
    1. What is the key to keeping a marriage strong?
    2. What impacted you the most in this chapter?
  2. Chapter 12: What Are the Responsibilities of a Husband?
    1. What are the responsibilities of a husband?
    2. To the man: In which of these area(s) do you think you will struggle the most as a husband?
    3. To the woman: In which of these area(s) do you think your fiancé will struggle the most as a husband?
  3. Chapter 13: What Are the Responsibilities of a Wife?
    1. What are the responsibilities of a wife?
    2. To the woman: In which of these area(s) do you think you will struggle the most as a wife?
    3. To the man: In which of these area(s) do you think your fiancé will struggle the most as a wife?
  4. Chapter 14: What Must Be Done to Protect a Marriage?
    1. What impacted you the most in this chapter?
  5. Chapter 15: How Can Couples Improve Their Communication?
    1. What are the characteristics of a good listener?
    2. In what ways can speech be used to build others up?
    3. In what ways can speech be used to tear others down?
    4. How does the gospel transform our communication?
HOMEWORK
Read chapters 16-20 in “Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage”, by Jim Newheiser.
Discuss the “Questions for Reflection” at the end of each chapter with your fiancé.
Apply for marriage license, if you have not already.

Session 5

Challenges In Marriage

DISCUSSION
  1. Chapter 16: How Can Couples Resolve Their Conflicts?
    1. Why do people experience conflicts in marriage? Why do conflicts sometimes increase after marriage?
    2. Why is merely controlling your tongue not enough? Why must the heart be addressed?
    3. What does a good biblical confession sound like?
    4. What are the characteristics of biblical forgiveness?
  2. Chapter 17: How Should You Correct Your Spouse?
    1. Which issues should be overlooked and which must be confronted?
    2. Why is affirmation important and biblical?
    3. What is the right way to reprove your spouse?
    4. What should you do if your spouse reproves you in a fleshly way?
  3. Chapter 18: When Does a Couple Need Help Resolving Their Conflicts?
    1. Why is it important for a couple to try to resolve a problem together before seeking outside help?
    2. In whats situations is it necessary for a couple to seek outside help or counsel?
    3. Where should one look when outside counsel is needed?
HOMEWORK
Read chapters 21-25 in “Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage”, by Jim Newheiser.
Finalize plans for wedding ceremony.

Session 6

Divorce And Remarriage

DISCUSSION
  1. What is divorce?
  2. Why does God hate divorce?
  3. Why does God permit divorce?

"Him we proclaim,
warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom,
that we may present everyone mature in Christ."
(Colossians 1:28, ESV)

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